Andy Dick arrested for sexually assaulting a minor

July 16th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Andy Dick has finally grabbed the wrong pair of breasts. His drunken asshole antics got him arrested today after Andy walked out of a bar and pulled down a 17-year-old girl’s top and bra, according to the AP:

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of “an intoxicated male” urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.
When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts,” the statement said.
Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared “extremely intoxicated,” police said.

I’d say “extremely intoxicated” is an understatement. Judging by the mug shot above, Andy Dick probably thinks he’s on the planet sanctuary moon of Endor. Now where’s that Ewok he tried to fondle? And what is this strange tree he’s inside of with this bald, tattooed gentleman who wants to snuggle?*

*Please, join me in prayer that this man is the “shiv you in the abdomen” type. Amen.


  1. Lemmy Caution

    I just hope the judge lets him out in time to play Batman’s next whacked-out evil nemesis. I mean, look at the pic… who better?

    After all, isn’t this the guy you would most like Bat-Dude to kick the $#!+ outta?!

  2. markymark

    Yeah, as we haven;t all wanted to squeeze a 17-year-olds tits…. should have banged her on the bar! Fuckin’ whore

  3. Kaibo

    OH FUCK, Andy Dick just put us on the map. This place is gonna blow up.

  4. m inc

    yet again it really isnt a bar scene its mostly a wing joint….

    why do i know? hm i might live near. read people!

    but i have seen some funny characters there before… just lookout for the girl on crack looking for used cigs…

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