Andy Dick arrested for sexually assaulting a minor

July 16th, 2008 // 104 Comments

Andy Dick has finally grabbed the wrong pair of breasts. His drunken asshole antics got him arrested today after Andy walked out of a bar and pulled down a 17-year-old girl’s top and bra, according to the AP:

Police were called to the Buffalo Wild Wings in Murrieta at about 1:13 a.m. to investigate a report of “an intoxicated male” urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance, according to a police statement.
When they arrived, a 17-year-old girl told police that she was outside when Dick left the bar, walked up, “grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts,” the statement said.
Dick was identified by the teenager and a witness, police said. Marijuana and the drug Xanax were found his pants pockets during a search and he appeared “extremely intoxicated,” police said.

I’d say “extremely intoxicated” is an understatement. Judging by the mug shot above, Andy Dick probably thinks he’s on the planet sanctuary moon of Endor. Now where’s that Ewok he tried to fondle? And what is this strange tree he’s inside of with this bald, tattooed gentleman who wants to snuggle?*

*Please, join me in prayer that this man is the “shiv you in the abdomen” type. Amen.

superficial

  1. What’s a 17 year old doing drinking at a bar? Bitch asked for it…

  2. Miss Kitty

    If that isn’t the mugshot of a fruitcake then I just don’t know what is…

  3. Jim

    WHY SO SERIOUS

  4. Mo

    1) She was at the wings place. Read your shit.

    As for the rest of it? Andy Dick is consistently higher than a fucking kite. This isn’t a mugshot, that was taken at his mom’s house.

  5. matt`

    come on! who hasnt gone on a xanex/weed/booze/pederast fueled rampage and grabbed on an underage girl… it happens… we cant arrest all of them
    just look at the pic… he has no fucking clue where he is

  6. p0nk

    what a dick
    /nice vagina chin

  7. Otto

    I like minors and all, but they are usually all hairy and dirty from all that coal dust. Not sure Id find anything sexually arousing about that. Andy Dick is just wierd.

  8. kenny

    hope this stupid dickhead goes to the slammer and gets fucked by some big guys. Oh wait, he’ll fucking love that.

  9. matt

    secondly… heading should read “andy dick arrested for sexually assaulting minor, surprisingliy victim is female”

  10. p0nk

    fishhead, we can block the pop-ups, the brazillion other ads are only a minor annoyance, but please remove the sound files! xrist

  11. The Book of Dooderonomy

    Holy Shit – Someone should tell The Superficial to put up Andy Dick’s mugshot and take the one of ROBERT DE NIRO down. Seriously, someone messed up here.

  12. They should lock him up in a room with Peewee Herman and Michael Jackson.

  13. They should lock him up in a room with Peewee Herman and Michael Jackson.

  14. The only surprising thing is the “victim” was female!!

  15. wattznext

    I think the funniest part of all this is that it happened outside of a Buffalo Wild Wings.

  16. Lamby

    #4 The wings place is a bar.

    It’s probably a restaurant that turns into a bar after 10pm but unless she had been eating wings for 3 hours, she had no business being there.

  17. Strangel

    Why does it look like Andy Dick’s chin has camel toe???

  18. quake

    ..at least it was a girl.

  19. Lamby

    …But that doesn’t make Andy Dick any less of a douche.

  20. mamadough

    if i was in charge of shit in general, i’d put him in a room with hannibal lector and watch, with a smile on my face, as good ‘ol hannie rips through his back flesh and tears out his kidneys, eating them right in front of him. easily justifiable for the shit we’ve had to endure from him over the years.

    for fun, we’d toss dustin diamond in there too.

  21. geek

    Come on, aren’t any of the Geekologie readers going to point out that the Ewoks lived on a moon of Endor, not the planet?

  22. Crazy Old Bitch

    Andy Dick once placed a distant 2nd in a gay off contest against Tom Cruise. That feat has never been duplicated before or after word. Generally the runner up is awarded the 5th or 6th position. Tom Cruise runs away with every contest when his favorite event, Creative Multiple Penetration, begins.

  23. christie

    every day, a new star wars reference brings warm feelings to my heart

  24. muckracker

    Buffalo Wild Wings isn’t a bar, you idiot.

  25. A

    That’s what he gets for having a last name of “Dick.”

    Why the fuck is he smiling in the picture? What a weirdo.

  26. meeps

    it’s about damn time someone locked that annoying f*ck up…I’m sick of even knowing he exists.

  27. sarah

    hahahah it DOES look like robert de niro.

    andy dick is gross… ewwww. EW. can u imagine trying to eat some buffalo wings, and this thing assaults u? man or woman, thats rough

  28. sarah

    hahahah it DOES look like robert de niro.

    andy dick is gross… ewwww. EW. can u imagine trying to eat some buffalo wings, and this thing assaults u? man or woman, thats rough

  29. I could have sworn he was gay…

  30. Jalone

    Are you sure that’s not Ed Norton?

  31. nipolian

    He is going to have a hard time in county…….I mean if Jon Lovitz can kick your ass……you are a serious pussy.

  32. Ted from LA

    Sexually assaulting a girl is not the least bit funny. I hope they lock him up and make him watch videos of his comedy act 24/7. So what if it is cruel and unusual punishment.

  33. M

    #24 The full name of the place is “Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Bar”

    Use google before you make an ass out of yourself

  34. rough daddy

    dont gays get a pass from female to do that sort of things?

  35. matt

    i pray to the youtoooob gods someone that night got this on vid

  36. Nathiest

    Oh please first he was drunk off his ass so he had no idea what he was doing secondly 17 is hardly minor.

  37. Crazy Old Bitch

    Betcha didn’t know: Tom Cruise and Andy Dick once engaged in a 69 sex act that started an EF5 level tornado. Hundreds were killed or injured, but the U.S. government recognized the devastating force created, and covered up the incident hoping to keep their new super weapon secret.

  38. shar

    This idiot should be bagged/tagged. Another waste of air space. He has been crazy messed up for years.

  39. pat

    “Oh please first he was drunk off his ass so he had no idea what he was doing secondly 17 is hardly minor.”

    If your 17 year old daughter was walking past a restautant/bar and some drunk staggered out and pulled off her clothes, that would be your reaction?

  40. Crazy Old Bitch

    #39 Tom Cruise has forced 5 seventeen year old girls to peg him simultaneously outside of a BW3. That’s a record. Well for BW3. His Red Lobster record will never be duplicated.

  41. I dont think it looks like him at ALL!!! Is this really true?

  42. Bruce Jenner

    Geez, what an Andy.

  43. Bruce Jenner

    Geez, what an Andy.

  44. Mo

    I don’t care if it’s TOTALLY a bar and not a wing place at ALL.

    I hang out at a bar so I deserve to get groped? You are more than welcome to go make passionate love to yourself.

  45. A

    Crazy Old Bitch – keep those Tom Cruise comments coming. They are cracking me the fuck up!

  46. sharpeidude

    I was hoping that beatdown he and his friends received in Coronado two years ago by those Navy Seals had cured him of his “dumbshit disease”. I guess the SEALs only treated a symptom.

  47. B

    In his defense, he didn’t realize the girl was underage…in fact, he probably didn’t even realize it was a girl! I’m sure he thought he was pulling down some guy’s pants. Clearly he was high – a sober Andy Dick wouldn’t go near breasts, underage or not.

  48. caljenna66

    @39
    My reaction would be ‘what the hell are you doing walking around at 1 a.m. on a Tuesday night?”

  49. If Thy Eye Be Single Jones

    Do not even joke about Andy Dick being on the sanctuary moon of Endor. If he’s there when I get there, I’ll be royally pissed.

  50. havoc

    This guy’s needed a bullet behind the ear for a loooong time……

    .

Leave A Comment