If You See A Drunk Andy Dick, Don’t Pick It Up
Seen here acting like a goddamn mess and kidnapping Asians at Chelsea Hightower’s birthday party last night, Andy Dick apparently fell off the wagon over the weekend after somehow managing to stay sober for Dancing With The Stars until he was eliminated. An event that sent him in a trail of booze to the Hamptons where he accosted both a husband and a wife who thought it’d be a smart idea to bring his drunk ass to their house and cook him eggs. Page Six reports:
We’re told Dick was at a bash in East Hampton Friday looking “incredibly intoxicated.” When a friend he’d arrived with disappeared, a spy saw the former “NewsRadio” star visibly “upset.”
“He didn’t know where he was staying,” our source explained. “He had no cellphone or wallet.” A woman offered to take Dick to her place — “Big mistake,” she told us, adding that on the way, Dick “grabbed the steering wheel” as she drove, and blasted her radio.
But things were about to get much worse. “When we got to the house, [Andy] told my husband he was hungry,” the good Samaritan told us. “My husband made him eggs. [But] Andy spat at me because I could not put a song he requested on my iPod quickly enough. He kept asking . . . if I was a moron.”
Then, “He grabbed my breast and said, ‘You’re so hot. I would [bleep] the [bleep] out of you!” When his advances were rebuked, openly bisexual Dick grabbed the crotch of the woman’s husband and tried to kiss him, she said.
The couple told Dick to sleep it off for a few hours. When the exasperated wife took him back to the party to see if he could find his friend, he grabbed beers from her fridge to drink on the way, despite her objections. When she dropped him off, “He asked me if he could borrow 20 bucks!” She didn’t hand over any dough. “He is a tortured soul,” she said.
Just a thought. Maybe the next time this women feels the need to nurture a wounded animal, she pops the lid to her trash can and lets a bunch of raccoons in instead. Not only is it safer and causes less property damage, but they hardly ever try to grab your dick, the furry little prudes.