Let the Tiger Woods Whore Parade Begin!

The Superficial / December 1, 2009

And now for the inevitable barrage of strippers trying to score their own reality show by saying they blew Tiger Woods. TMZ reports:

The woman — Jaime Grubbs, claims she met Tiger in Las Vegas in April, 2007. The woman — a cocktail waitress who was 21 at the time — began what she says was a long-running affair with Tiger.
According to Us Weekly, Grubbs has more than 300 text messages from Tiger — who married Elin Nordegren in 2004.
The magazine, which comes out tomorrow, claims Grubbs had 20 sexual encounters with Tiger. Us Weekly has photos, racy texts from Tiger, as well as a voicemail from November 24, in which Tiger suggests his wife might be on to the alleged affair.

There are exactly two reasons why I don’t buy this chick’s story:

1. She was on VH1’s Tool Academy, so honestly, I don’t know why I’m not stopping here.

2. If Jesus Christ used his wizard powers to win the Powerball for a month straight, Tiger Woods would still have more money. Which means if he was going to cheat on his wife, his mistress’ body would be fired into the sun before Tiger even strapped on a jetpack to fly out of the secret cloud mansion he banged her in.

Food for thought.

Photos: VH1