And ‘Two and a Half Men’ is Canceled

February 24th, 2011 // 118 Comments
Charlie Sheen Brooke Mueller

“Guess which one of us ain’t on the party plane. SHEEN-SASSIN’D.

Before we delve into Part Two of “Charlie Sheen Remembered Coke’s His Oxygen Again,” here’s a quick update on why Brooke Mueller was suspiciously missing from his in-flight interview with Alex Jones: Charlie kicked her off the plane. Whether that means literally or they actually landed and dropped her off at an airport is virtually a coin toss at this point. RadarOnline reports:

“There was a whole firestorm yesterday about Brooke being part of our crew and let me just say this, this is all I’m going to say about it. where there were four there are now three,” Sheen said. “Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels. You’re going to need it badly.”
Alex Jones then asked: “So Brooke did go alone with you but she’s not there now?”
Sheen: “No she’s not here now. And we are. I don’t know winning anyone. Rhymes with winning. Yeah that would be us. Sorry, didn’t make the rules.”

“Ginning?” Are they drinking gin? I don’t get it. Anyway, Charlie decided to follow up his drug-addicted manifesto to Alex Jones with a call to TMZ where he proceeded to challenge Two and a Half men creator Chuck Lorre to a fight “in the Octagon”:

“If he wins, then he can leave MY show!”
Charlie said, “I violently hate Chaim Levine (Chuck Lorre). He’s a stupid, stupid little man and a p**sy punk that I’d never want to be like.” Charlie adds, “That’s me being polite.”
“All these guys told me to ‘clean it up.’ Well this is me cleaning it the f**k up. … That piece of s**t [Lorre] took money out of my pocket, my family’s pocket, and, most importantly, my second family — my crew’s pocket.”
Charlie adds, “You can tell him [Lorre] one thing. I own him.”

Wow, that’s not at all the egomaniacal rantings of a man who just told a porn star at gun point to pour coke directly into his eyes. He sounds entirely sober. But on a realistic note, explain to me – in people logic – how pulling the show off the air puts money into his “family’s” pockets because that’s exactly what Charlie Sheen just did. And if it isn’t, then he truly is Jesus Christ and maybe all that talk of Him knocking up a hooker wasn’t so crazy after all. It’s a good day to be Dan Brown.

UPDATE: And here’s the official CBS statement:

Based on the totality of Charlie Sheen’s statements, conduct and condition, CBS and Warner Bros. Television have decided to discontinue production of “Two and a Half Men” for the remainder of the season.”

Photo: Getty

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  1. Capitalist Pancake

    Well, it now leaves him free to pitch Clam Manor as a reality show to E! – can’t be worse than The Kardashians.

  2. stevebeagle

    somebody please slap this jerkoff in the mouth.

  3. true dat

    I have watched an episode or two of this show and i must say that it’s quite lame. 2 million per episode for charlie to play this role? Its a very unthoughtful show, not funny and recycled shit from the past 25 years. Its nothing inventive and quite shitty. thank you for canceling the show. now u can give other shitty shows like hawaii five o, or NCIS or How I met your Mother a chance to shine like an old trophy.

  4. dumbass

    The real deal here i that they need a certain minimum number of seasons / episodes to sell off into syndication, and they’re really close to that number – they got 750 million for the last batch, and expect a billion for this next batch. so the 2 million an episode they pay Charlie is chump change, he knew it when he demanded a big raise, and he knows he has them over a barrel now, so he’s flexing his muscle and trying to force out the d’bag producer he hates – and it was the d’bag producer that insisted they put the show on hiatus and ship Charlie off to rehab, so it’s not Charlie’s fault the crew was put out of work. He seems to have been quite capable of getting his job done all these past seasons while fueled up on coke and hookers, so wtf is the difference now? the network will tell the producer they’re resuming production next season come hell or high wate, and if the producer’s pissy about it, they’ll replace him. the f’ing jersey shore aholes were able to get themselves big raises last year because the show got ratings, so wtf wouldn’t Charlie Sheen be able to get his way as far as the producer being replaced? Nobody in the network would let a billion dollars swirl down the drain, so forget about Charlie not getting his way by the beginning of next season’s production schedule. He could show up being wheeled onto the set in a wheelbarrow full of coke by a team of hookers, and the new producer won’t say boo about it.

  5. ScottK

    Brooke was on my flight last night from Miami to LAX. Got busted for smoking in the bathroom (twice). Classic

  6. Look on the upside. Now Charlie will have time to make “Hot Shots: Part Trois – The Ass Menagerie”.

  7. The Listener

    Just read the update. Makes sense to me. If he cleans himself up, they’ll give him at least one more season for the show.

  8. Nice.

    He is like the new, less socially awkward Howard Hughes. If Flying over America in a private jet with a mountain of coke, a dozen hookers (9 of them still alive) and a cell phone to drop the science on fools aint living I dont want to know what is.

  9. Say what you will about his work on “Two and a Half Men” but Charlie is one hell of a method actor….

  10. Jessics

    Funny how they have no problem raking in millions by the tv portrayal an over-sexed, womanizing, alcoholic douchebag. But then turn their back on the guy for living the same lifestyle.

  11. JuiceinLA

    Thing is, I’d totally watch that show if he wasn’t on it. His acting skills have been abysmal in the last few years.
    If they can replace Steve Corell in the office, why not Sheen?

  12. NOTA FAN

    Hurray for Charlie Sheen. Chump Levine is a MAGGOT!

  13. craig

    Cannot WAIT to see the tear-filled reconciliation with Chuck Lorre on next season of Celebrity Rehab!

  14. Dan

    I agree. I feels sorry for the rest of that talented crew. They will now suffer due to his ramblings. What a shame someone so talented and gifted turned into such an ugly and decrepit soul.

  15. Trollz

    Maybe he’s just…Trolling?!

  16. Do they know they’re fighting over “Two and a Half Men?” I mean, it’s not quite Citizen Kane, is it?

  17. sazzle

    Charlie, come pick me up! haha x

  18. Zenith Nadir

    If you had ever wondered what the sound of the ENTIRE WORLD not giving a shit sounded like….

  19. Joseph

    Charlie sheen is a god not afraid to speak his mind.. Apparently now even addressing a Jew by his name is Anti-semitic.

  20. k

    Jon Cryer is way more talented than this loser!

  21. Mark

    Screw you and your misleading headline. Halting production for the year is not the same as cancelled, bitches.

    Cancelled is when the show is no longer going to be produced EVER.

    I had to spend two minutes of your ad spambots chewing on my cookies in order to find out that you don’t know sh!t. Thanks.

  22. David

    He’s a bit pissed off at how other people (CBS) made a decision and blames Charlie for the decision. CBS pulled the plug on the money machine, they should own up and take responsibility. Pure and simple.

    Blaming Charlie is wrong very wrong. He shows up for work on time and ready to work. CBS are idiots unplugging the money machine and blaming Charlie.

    I think Charlie has a point, his personal life’s choices are not in breach of his contract but CBS is in beach of theirs and should pay Charlie for his damages which are immediate and apparent to his image.

    CBS would have fared better to keep quiet and salvage the rest of the season and talk to Charlie discretely. Any organization that goes public about their employees should be sued to their underwear.

    They are not owning the decision just a bunch of cry-baby weasels. Bad on you CBS. I hope you loose everything you made on 2 1/2 men. Charlie made that show and made it entertaining, funny and
    #1 show on CBS. Are these guys idiots or what? What’s in their heads? Make the shows, make the money and shut up CBS. Charlie’s the star. Biting the hand that feeds you is a shameful and disgusting show of betrayal by CBS to a person whom made billions (2.5) to be exact. A little loyalty, discretion and respect goes along way.

    Bad move by CBS and I hope and pray Charlie wins his law suit and sues you into the stone age.

  23. toju mikie

    he should be in a jackie chan movie instead

  24. Ron

    How would any one of you ass holes like to be treated like Charlie. have your life turned up side down by a prick that can not even keep his mouth shut when he has a winner. Hals to give people shit until they quit does not make sense to me gees he has f— enough money out of people and thinks he can do it again.

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