And Here Comes the Bullshit…

July 7th, 2010 // 156 Comments

It was only a matter of time until Lindsay Lohan took to her Twitter and started spewing shit so crazy only Britney Spears can read it without suffering an aneurysm. Here she is making up a bullshit excuse for her “Fuck U” fingernail before going on to cite U.N. policies on torture to decry her jail sentence. I’m not even joking:

@liana_levi didn’t we do our nails as a joke with our friend dc? it had nothing to do w/court.. it’s an airbrush design from a stencil xx
It is clearly stated in Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights that….
, “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.”
this was taken from an article by Erik Luna.. “November 1 marked the 15th anniversary of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines. But there were no
celebrations, parades, or other festivities in honor of this punishment scheme created by Congress and the U.S. Sentencing Commission….”
Instead, the day passed like most others during the last 15 years:Scores of federal defendants sentenced under a constitutionally perverted”
system that saps moral judgment through its mechanical rules.”

And then she links to an article about an Iranian woman being stoned for committing adultery because in Lindsay’s mind that’s exactly like her situation. I mean, the injustice of forcing her to suffer the consequences of her actions is almost entirely comparable to ending a person’s life in the name of misogynistic religious dogma. No, really, I’m sure the woman had the option to Twitter on her BlackBerry in a VIP lounge before taking a rock to the face – and dying. It’s like they’re the same person.

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Chelsea

    I find it funny that shes freaking PLEADING with the judge to beleive she had been sober, im sure the judge reads tabloids lol. im sure its how most of LA gets it dirt :P but come on, partying every night is not condusive to an alcohol free lifestyle,…. and WTFFFFFFF is up with her and her mightier then though “ive been wronged” attitude.. FUCK THAT think about all the people she falsely accused, or that she chased down with her car. but i hear their lawsuit is coming up next so meh.

    Come on lindsay… stck it in your arm before you turn yourself in, no reason to stay in jail for 90 days when you can stay out by sticking it 6 feet under ground!

  2. Molly

    I don’t care about all of you people who say “Oh, what did she ever do to you or anyone else?”.

    She’s an insult to our society. She acts like she can get away with anything using her pity stories. When she stood up in court and talked about how she “had to work” instead of attending her alcohol classes, I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. Unless a person is an ABSOLUTE IDIOT (like Lindsay), they would know that you cannot miss court or court-required alcohol classes for ANY REASON unless you are dying in the hospital. Seriously. How much dumber can you get? She’s missed several court dates, and it DOES NOT MATTER that she had to work. Court is court. PERIOD.

    Also, if any other normal human being did the same things that she’s done, they would be in prison at the moment. Her 90 days is a pussy sentence compared to what anyone else would get, so I’m not in the mood to see her crocodile tears.

    • E

      She IS an absolute idiot, and thats why she deserves our pity, not our venom.

      Do you think Dina Lohan, who pulled the “don’t you know who I am” card over free ice cream, has taught Lindsay that she’s responsible for her actions in the same way you or I are? Court may be court to you or I, but do you honestly think that the poisonous people in Lindsays life ever taught HER that?

      And quite frankly, you’re right- she does get away with murder. She always has. Why should she think this time would be ANY different? Is her flippant behavior really a surprise, given how things have worked for her in the past? I also think you should examine to what extent your vitrol is directed at this girl out of jealousy- I think we all wish we could get away with what she does, but that does NOT make wishing her ill okay, even if it’s done anonymously thought the comments section of a web site.

      The insult to our society isn’t Lindsay- its a culture of celebrity worship that incited a mother to whore out her daughter to companies who capitalized on her cutie pie parent trap smile, and then insulated that child from any real consequences while there was still money to be made off her atrophying career, youth, and sanity.

      Lindsay and her behavior are a tragic result of a truly twisted and exploitive system. She doesn’t have the common sense god gave a rabbit, because no one ever profited from TEACHING her how to live her life.

  3. She thinks this applies to her because she’s been stoned for the last 5 years.

  4. Captain_Insano

    What a useless cunt.

  5. Chelsea

    i would love to see any of the people who are backing her up on here, have their child walk on the side of the road that shes driving on…..

  6. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

    • bitingontinfoil

      LMFAO!

      Chelsea: “have their child walk on the side of the road that shes driving on..”

      HackSaw: “i’d hit it”

      ROLF!

  7. Cumherbuns

    This is all a career move. This just gives her new gangsta rap album more street cred. I wonder how many guards will lose their jobs when they are found to carry the Firecrotch strain of syphilla-herpes.

  8. Boo

    The media need to not report anything about her so she disappears from the public eye as she is one dumb kid, grow up!

  9. Max

    She is the hottest girl i have ever seen. I am totally in love with her. she doesnt deserve jail. I hope she gets better. I would love to have sex with her>

  10. AtomicCoffee

    Did she violate some morality clause in her contract, or is she still able to get free Carvel Ice Cream cakes?

  11. mimsy

    Lindsay takes rock to her face on a regular basis, no?

  12. Rhialto

    The prison is to Lindsay Lohan as what cod liver oil is to a kid.

  13. Dirtbag#1

    The UN didn’t have pampered, holier than thou celebrities that drive drunk and coked out when they were creating their Human Rights doctrine. Disgusting, but entertaining nonetheless.

    Dirtbag, sometimes suicide is the only way out

  14. JailTimeForLindsay

    Her insane tweets about Human Rights, etc… are nothing compared to the Twitter Storm she launched with Khloe Karhashin and Paris Hilton Tuesday.

    @WonkyMcValtrex – Paris, what was your cavity search like? Do they really look in your vagina? If so, how deeply do they look?
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – Khloe, what was your cavity search like? I need to know so I can figure out how to hide my stash?
    @WonkyMcValtrex – OMG! Thanks! I can fit a Kilo deep in my Vag and they’ll never notice it. Maybe I’ll pretend to have my period, just in case…
    @ChewbaccaKarsashian – Seriously? You had to show them your bum hole? I am going to ask my lawyer to make sure they don’t have cameras! My bum hole will end up on TMZ!
    @WonkyMcValtrex – Did they make you do Lesbian things?
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – Did you have to Lez-out in Prison?
    @SaMANthaRonson – Suck it bitch! I’m gonna be some hotties’ bitch in 2 weeks!
    @WonkyMcValtrex – LOLs! But, what if I want to Lez-out? I totally want Samantha getting jealous! It will drive her crazy!
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – OMG! You whore! But, you were only in for like an hour! You turned out 3 bitches! Was it hot n sexy?
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – I wish you were still in jail! OMG! I would so be your bitch! Come over to my house! Lamar can watch! LOL!
    @WonkyMcValtrex – I’m actually gettting excited about going to jail! Thanks! I mean you make it sound like a party!
    @WonkyMcValtrex – I’m going to use the jail time to prepare for a really gritty role about Women Behind Bars… Act the shit out of the role and get an Oscar.
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – How was the prison alcohol? I remember Tila told me it was pretty good, but you had to trade shit for it. I don’t mind eating pie for some booze, but I can’t give up any of my blow.
    @WonkyMcValtrex – Yeah, like my Mom is setting up some movie deals for me now! She’s talking to Martin, George and like some others about a really dramatic prison movie for me. I’ll be so HOT after jail! LOLs!
    @ChewbaccaKardashian – LOL! I can’t just take it from the girls! I’m not as strong as you! OMG! I’ll just drop your name! Yo bitches, K-Dog will beat you down!

  15. Darth

    Is there a real toilet in jail? Or only a hole in the floor?

  16. Lady Blah Blah

    Every day here, Lohan Lohan Lohan. She’s NOT INTERESTING! Once in a while, OK, but every freaking day and sometimes twice a day? Come on.

  17. reese

    This spoiled bitch kills me, she sounds just like the inmates that I watch all day who blame everyone else but themselves for being in jail. Yea, it had nothing to do with the rape, murder, child loving or drug selling that you participated in. America really needs to start punishing people accordingly and stop giving everybody handouts; country full of whiny, needy, dependent biatches. UGH! now off to get coffee

  18. Burt

    With all the crazy shit some of you have written, I’m starting to wonder if she has a point about her being the victim of misogyny.

  19. huh?

    Drop this whore and her parents into the general population so they can all get thier asses kicked! Enough with this circus!

  20. KT

    Some days I don’t know why I visit this site. But today! Today is different. Today I learned something truly mind-blowing: you know how to spell “misogynistic”!

    I’m super excited for you. Seriously.

    Now, if you’re feeling bold, take it one step further and read the definition. Then–dare I hope?–take a look at your entire website.

  21. L

    I do way more drugs and I’m not remotely as retarded as this girl. Equating her situation a woman getting stoned for adultery? Jesus, how embarrassing. Smells like it’s time for a yummy prison reality show

  22. DopeyLaRue

    When the truth is bad enough as it is, you only serve to invalidate yourself when you stretch the truth…I am certainly not defending her in any way, but only pointing out truths – I don’t see anywhere that LL was comparing herself to this woman. I DO see that she has been tweeting about her and the case for a little while now, but definitely don’t see her comparing herself or their cases. Just because someone’s life is messed up in some (or most) ways, doesn’t mean they are 100% messed or “bad”. Let’s be fair now.

  23. Juliana
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, from the stuff she just bought (see the bag she is carrying), it seems like Lindsay just switched from alcohol to pot, right? he he

  24. Mitchhaase.wordpress.com

    Lindsay already had the recipe for prune tattooed on her thigh so she won’t be sober in jail for more than a day or two.

    Just blew a load into this mornings used coffee filter and the cum looks very elegant on the wet, used coffee grounds.

    Later,

    Mitch

  25. Mark

    I love that she cites the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines, which govern FEDERAL sentences and have absolutely nothing to do with her California-imposed sentence. She might as well have bitched about sentencing inequities in North Korea.

  26. hahaha
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit it.

  27. Big B

    say what you want about her but DAMN i would love to ejaculate in her

    • crz

      in her? enjoy your Valtrex.

      On her FTW!!!

      (BTW, I can’t believe that this is what has come of the smoking-hot ginger with the great rack from “Mean Girls” . Now her, I would have loved to ejaculate IN!!!)

  28. Jeff little from Troy Ohio

    Any of the rest of us would have been doing time after the first time she fucked up… my god she only got 90 days…

  29. bitingontinfoil

    …in other news…

    …the BP oilspill continues to pump out 8000 gallons per day into the ocean (Since April), killing valuable marine life and fowl, running ashore and putting thousands out of work/// not to mention the monstrous effect on our eco-system that will take decades if not generations to recover from….

    …just sayin’

  30. jess

    Shes high on pills, hence she doesn’t know what the fuck shes talking about.
    Shes making a total ass out of herself, as well as the legal system, not because of what lindsanity claims there doing, because they actually have a list of drugs shes allowed to take, but no alcohol, yah that seems like a good idea, keep her medicated enough to spew all this BS and make it that much easier to lock her up. because sadly a drunk is more coherent than this pill head.
    When she sobers up i hope she’ll realize it was the meds the whole time. oh wait that wont happen because they wont even take away her prescriptions to fucking POWERFUL pain meds while shes in the pokey, the system IS FUCKED because they don’t realize this fact, they just let her keep fogging up her stupid brain with meds.

  31. mightycheese

    You know what they say drug addicts…they die

  32. Leelou

    Lindsay has just hit a new high in self-absorbed behavior. I know she says stupid sh*t a lot but I never really thought she would be this arrogant as to compare herself to a woman in Iran who is sentenced to being stoned to death. I dont read twitter but did she really say that? Hell, if it were legal I would like to slap another 30 days on her sentence just for saying that.
    Also her excuse on the fingernail thing. Ok, Lindsay, saying that your friend (and come on girl, we all know you dont have any friends) and you did it as a joke is lame. You knew you were going to court, you know they would have cameras that would take close shots, you knew the nail would be seen and any person who was serious about court would never do that right before a hearing. That just proves you have no respect for anything. I honestly think she is a pathalogical liar and believe everything she tells herself. Convinces herself lie after lie so she doesnt have to take any responsibility.

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