Seen here in 2008, Jeremy London’s wife Melissa Cunningham is now claiming the police told her and Jeremy that random kidnappings where the victims are forced to do drugs are part of a new crime wave in Palm Spring. Except, surprise, this is the only time it’s ever happened/someone’s been stupid enough to make this shit up. E! News reports:
Sgt. Mitch Spike, from the Palm Spring Police Department’s Watch Command, said that this is the first time he has ever heard of a robbery-turned-forced drugging taking place in their jurisdiction.
While Melissa London said she was told that criminals engaged in the heinous twofer in order to render their victims less reliable witnesses after the fact, Spike said he was unaware of any members of the force making such statements. Particularly because the statement itself is far from accurate.
“Usually if a victim or witness is under the influence of something, we would just reinterview them when they are not under the influence,” he told E! News.
Before I started writing unfunny penis jokes on the Internet, I used to work at a retail store that bought and sold used CDs and DVDs which, fun fact, is literally a haven for crack addicts. These people would yank Toy Story out of their child’s hand for a sliver of rock, so there’s no way in hell they’re going around forcing innocent bystanders to smoke the very essence of their being. If someone told Lindsay Lohan this story, she’d laugh her freckles off then go stand on the side of the road in Palm Spring just in case. “Think victimy thoughts…”