And Bullshittier…

June 22nd, 2010 // 24 Comments

Seen here in 2008, Jeremy London’s wife Melissa Cunningham is now claiming the police told her and Jeremy that random kidnappings where the victims are forced to do drugs are part of a new crime wave in Palm Spring. Except, surprise, this is the only time it’s ever happened/someone’s been stupid enough to make this shit up. E! News reports:

Sgt. Mitch Spike, from the Palm Spring Police Department’s Watch Command, said that this is the first time he has ever heard of a robbery-turned-forced drugging taking place in their jurisdiction.
While Melissa London said she was told that criminals engaged in the heinous twofer in order to render their victims less reliable witnesses after the fact, Spike said he was unaware of any members of the force making such statements. Particularly because the statement itself is far from accurate.
“Usually if a victim or witness is under the influence of something, we would just reinterview them when they are not under the influence,” he told E! News.

Before I started writing unfunny penis jokes on the Internet, I used to work at a retail store that bought and sold used CDs and DVDs which, fun fact, is literally a haven for crack addicts. These people would yank Toy Story out of their child’s hand for a sliver of rock, so there’s no way in hell they’re going around forcing innocent bystanders to smoke the very essence of their being. If someone told Lindsay Lohan this story, she’d laugh her freckles off then go stand on the side of the road in Palm Spring just in case. “Think victimy thoughts…”

Photos: WENN


  1. SP

    I had something similar happen to me. 3 hookers took advantage of me then robbed me.

  2. Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she doesn’t have one of those trashy tramp stamps!

  3. KC

    Someone should arrest her for stealing cantaloupe in her shirt.

  4. jh

    What a great name: Mitch Spike. That’s better than Max Power.

  5. stinky mcpoop

    She looks like a robot. An anorexic robot with titties. I shall call her TitBot 2010.

  6. Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:


    Looks like mom has a little speed habit herself…

    She looks like that tranny I almost fucked down in New Orleans

  7. Deacon Jones

    Wow, looks like mom has a little speed habit herself….

    She looks like that tranny I almost fucked down in New Orleans

  8. If I am going to kidnap a blond with big tits, making her take drugs is going to be the last thing on my list of thing to do to her.

  9. J
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF is that?

  10. Fati87

    I don’t know any of the people in this story, but those are some stupid huge implants.

  11. Michael C. Hall

    Was he one of the writers for Six Feet Under?

  12. Drew

    Whatever, like most of you mouthbreathers even have standards. You’d rail this (if not worse) if given the chance. You’re not fooling anyone.

  13. Let me get this right…someone kidnaps you and forces you to drink and smoke crack all weekend. I really hope Jeremy respects the sacrifice the kidnappers made for him….damn.

  14. Anon

    Has no one seen North By Northwest? Sounds like they’re trying to get him to drive off a cliff.

  15. Rob
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord she’s busted , she must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down .

  16. Franksinatrastein
    Commented on this photo:

    I was kidnapped once. They made me party all night, fuck beautiful women, and end the evening by receiving a fantastic backrub.


    True story.

  17. Steelerchick

    Is that Tara Reid in disguise? Look at her stomach

  18. bar room hero

    Those tits look like a parody (or cartoon) of natural ones…


  19. kelley

    And a bad boob-job … and baaaaad cheek implants, lol !!

  20. captain america

    some women need more than mental help………

  21. turd da third
    Commented on this photo:

    that is one fugly bitch… only thing she is good for is a paper bag and a titty fuck….

Leave A Comment