Anastasia Kvitko AKA The Russian Kim Kardashian “Must Break You”

I can’t figure out why people are calling her “The Russian Kardashian”, but from my lazy research it looks like the only connection they have is that they have gargantuan butts and that’s about it. Anastasia is bilingual so she’s got a huge leg-up on Kimmy in the talent department because Kim can barely translate her binary processor into “human sounds”.

One thing I’d like to say is that I rarely see a boob in 2017 that looks like it would feel like a firm punching bag. That style was huge in the 80’s and 90’s when doctors would just inflate your tits with compacted peat and give you a perm. Maybe the science hasn’t caught up yet in The Motherland…

NOTE: She claims she’s never had surgery, I’m just gonna let that sit there…

What do you think about it, Mikey?

mike pence2

“I need to call, mother…”