Those Amy’s Baking Company Idiots Were On The Local News

Probably my favorite part about this whole Amy’s Baking Company fiasco is that not even 10 days after the Internet saw Farrah Abraham get her butthole blown out by James Deen in a graphic, made-entirely-for-publicity porno, all it took were two idiots running a bakery into the ground in Arizona for people to move onto the next shiny object. I’m literally sitting here kissing my fingers going, “Mwah!” it’s so delicious. Anyway, Samy Mafiadonquaccio and his trophy wife Chef Identity Theftardee naturally made it onto the local news last night where she promptly told them to get the fuck out of her restaurant only to have her husband shove her out of the way and say they couldn’t talk because of their Kitchen Nightmares contract and then proceed to do nothing but talk. So that video’s under the cut as well as the press release for their grand re-opening where, if I’m reading it right, they’ll punch everyone in the face that doesn’t think the cannoli they bought from Wegman’s is the best in Scottsdale.

I had to put this down below because it wouldn’t work in our doohickey. And the fact that I just described our video module as a “doohickey” is how you should know that I have absolutely nothing to do with the technical design of the site or else it’d be an AOL Members Page with GIFs of bouncing tits.

And now for the press release because apparently they found a PR firm stupid enough to agree that, “Yes, let’s prove you idiots are smarter than a world-class, award-winning chef who runs restaurants all over the globe by taking two fucking hours to cook a pizza. How can we lose?”

Other Side of Amy’s Baking Company Controversy in Scottsdale To Soon Be Told

SCOTTSDALE, AZ. MAY 15, 2013 — Amy’s Baking Company will host a Grand Re-Opening on Tuesday night, May 21, following unflattering portrayals on national television.

Customers will be able to decide who is correct: a famous celebrity chef or the marketplace that has supported the small, locally-owned business for six years.

When re-opened, a portion of proceeds will benefit a charity organized to bring awareness to cyber bullying.

Seating is limited. Reservations may be made by emailing [email protected]

Diners will also have the opportunity to meet, and judge for themselves the character of owners Amy and Samy Bouzaglo, who have devoted their lives to and earn their living from their small restaurant. The Bouzaglos have been married for 10 years, after Sammy emigrated from Israel.

The owners will likely be holding a press conference before the Grand Re-Opening and answer falsehoods depicted on a reality television show, including assertions that the restaurant confiscates tips from servers.

In fact, wait staff is paid $8-$14 per hour, two and half to nearly five times the standard hourly wage for servers.

Questions will also be answered about what happened to their Facebook page.

Amy’s Baking Company was recently featured on the hit PBS show “Check Please” and has received A+ reports from CBS 5 for kitchen preparedness.

“We are very upset by what has taken place, apologize about the acrimony that has ensued but now must fight back to save our business. We hope and believe much good can result from what has transpired. We ask the public to keep an open mind as we begin to tell our side of the story,” Samy Bouzaglo said.

For more details, please contact Michael Saucier.