Amy Winehouse’s face explained by science

March 3rd, 2008 // 104 Comments

As part of her pact with Satan, Amy Winehouse got beat some more by the ugly stick this weekend. Her spokesperson confirmed to the media she’s been diagnosed with impetigo which is not only contagious but makes you look like, well, Amy Winehouse. Here’s the Mayo Clinic’s definition for all you amateur doctors out there:

Impetigo starts as a red sore that quickly ruptures, oozes for a few days and then forms a yellowish-brown crust that looks like honey or brown sugar. The disease is highly contagious, and scratching or touching the sores is likely to spread the infection to other parts of the body as well as to other people.

Okay, so now Amy Winehouse is even more awesome to be around. Not only do you get to see, and presumably smell her, but your skin starts oozing brown sugar. Sweet! Somebody invite this chick to my house on the ASAP. I’m making a whole bunch of oatmeal and finally can use my own face as a condiment. Dreams do come true! *tear*

Photos: Splash News

  1. lucita

    :O omg

  2. lucita

    :O omg

  3. Me me me

    Oh yeah!

  4. Amy Winehouse, How come you tast so good.

  5. Amy Winehouse, How come you taste so good?

  6. aeuwave

    i wonder what disease causes her eyeliner to look the same everytime………………………………………… or is it magic?

  7. Fucking jizz-soaked keyboard!

  8. Like face herpes or something?

  9. gits

    Good thing the pictures aren’t working today.

  10. Ted from LA

    so, Mike rubbed his penis on her face. The world makes sense again.

  11. Transmission

    The infection is spread by direct contact with lesions or with nasal carriers. The incubation period is 1-3 days. Dried streptococci in the air are not infectious to intact skin.

    Signs and symptoms

    One or more pimple-like lesions surrounded by reddened skin. Lesions fill with pus, then break down over 4-6 days and form a thick, honey-colored crust. Impetigo is often associated with insect bites, cuts, and other forms of trauma to the skin. Itching is common.

    People who suffer from cold sores have shown higher chances of suffering from impetigo. Those who normally suffer from cold sores should consult a doctor if normal treatment has no effect.

  12. The only reason God doesn’t erase you from the face of the Earth is because you amuse him somehow.

    -Master Shake, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

  13. “starts as a red sore that quickly ruptures, oozes for a few days and then forms a yellowish-brown crust that looks like honey or brown sugar.”

    Just like my beloved husband.

  14. Mike

    Ted, seriously. Stop obsessing about my penis. It aint that kinda party.

  15. Auntie Kryst

    Perfect story for the lunch hour, fucking sick.

  16. Mikes goat

    So, thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats what I have in me butthole. Wash, mike, wash. baaaaa baaaaah.

  17. ApacheRose

    EW!

  18. mike

    Frist’s labia look like Amy’s face, but she said it was parasites, not impetigo.

  19. The VeggiWhore

    So, nevermind uncrustable. I wasn’t hungry anyway.. dammit. fucking, dammit!

  20. mimi

    You got it wrong fish-head…

    Those are the rancid FISH-Scales you spread to her.

  21. bonner

    somehow i cant write nasty stuff about her. i wish icould help her.

  22. D. Richards (Surgeon.)

    Amy’s so talented; her talent makes-up for her imperfections. Her talent makes her lovely.

    Yet she can not catch a fucking break.

  23. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    poor Amy now i feel sorry for her ….
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yeh right.

  24. Italian Stallion

    Her face is like Gizmo when you give him water……….

  25. PettyPape

    ATTENTION: IF YOU ARE EATING DO NOT READ

    Little nose-picking/booger-eating children are the usual vectors for this disgusting disease. I’m not surprised Miss Winehouse has it, the dignified lass that she is.

  26. Shep

    So when you hang around with ppl who live at the landfill, your chances of contracting extremely gross contagious diseases increase…….. dually noted.

  27. gotmilk?

    i’m sure the 10lbs of make up does wonders for it.

    and i’m sure no one would have noticed in the first place had no one pointed it out. who the fuck looks at this horse face anyway?

  28. mkell

    Oh yeah, I’ve heard her “talent.” It went “ooooeeeouuww ugh ummm wioeeeeemmmuuuuurr uh aaaiiooooooooooh.”

    I love the quote on People’s article: “She’s not hiding away. She’s never been one to care what people think.”

    Bullshit. This is the girl who swears her ridiculous looks are a result of her probably-pathological obsession with and insecurities about her appearance.

  29. blugh

    someone please call the CDC. the picture where she’s picking her teeth is simply stunning. warning – do not enlarge the photo. by doing so, you will probably catch it.

  30. zin

    #28 – don’t worry, you’ll always have your Debbie Gibson albums.

  31. MZ

    Impetigo is a common skin infection amongst intravenous drug users.

    No way!

  32. Jrz

    so basically she’s got cooties.

  33. havoc

    Amy Winehouse contagious.

    That pretty much says it all…….

    .

  34. mike

    @10, Ted, what explains your face? Oh yeah an elephant crapped on it.

  35. Cooties… cooter… both words just crack me up.

  36. The Office Whore

    Mike, you are an admitted goat fucker. I think you lose no matter what man..

  37. Mike, are velcro gloves all scratchy and shit?

  38. Mengele, Joseph M.D.

    Classic case of young jewess entering the “Hasidic pupa phase”. Upon completion of chrysalis, she will emerge wearing too much makeup and jewelry, married to a doctor, and a house in Scarsdale.

  39. The Laughing God

    Finger in mouth on picture 5… she’ll never learn. Unclean.

  40. Unidentified Cynical Doucebag

    35–Marital strife and marital strike….both words crack me up.

  41. Coco

    When a person does too much crack; they start picking their face and it gets infected. I like Amy but this is grossing me out and it is ruing my Hershey Dark chocolate experience at work right now.

  42. Coco

    When a person does too much crack; they start picking their face and it gets infected. I like Amy but this is grossing me out and it is ruing my Hershey Dark chocolate experience at work right now.

  43. Coco

    When a person does too much crack; they start picking their face and it gets infected. I like Amy but this is grossing me out and it is ruing my Hershey Dark chocolate experience at work right now.

  44. Coco

    When a person does too much crack; they start picking their face and it gets infected. I like Amy but this is grossing me out and it is ruing my Hershey Dark chocolate experience at work right now.

  45. UglyPeopleSafaris

    I had impetigo… it was because i picked my nose to much

  46. Grunion

    There is no such thing as too much crack.

  47. Auntie Kryst

    @41-44 Does smoking too much crack affect the ability to hit the post comment button only once?

  48. Emmyem

    Hey, I comment on here sometimes and I try to be relevant………….first, the FISH IS HILARIOUS. He’s one funny person. I give a nod to his hilarious comments.
    Secondly, AMY WINEHOUSE’S EYELINER IS TATTOOED ON HER, ala Michael Jackson, just WAY more.
    That’s why it always looks the same! With the drugs she does, like, how could she get it right every time? Hence, the tattoos over her eyes! GAHHHHHHHH!
    Yuck, I’ve been known to pick at the rare “eruption( don’t go there) on my perfect face, but having THIS would freak me out. I’d say inside!

  49. Pixie

    It looks as though she has spotted prey in pic #4

  50. #40 – Touche

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