Amy Winehouse redefines ‘sexy’

November 11th, 2008 // 126 Comments

Amy Winehouse held court with the paparazzi outside her house this morning and, aw shit, he’s flatlined. I knew it. Excuse me while I snap my penis out of cardiac arrest:

“Live, dammit! LIVE! No, not like this…. Not like this…. Fight, damn you! Jessica Simpson is just one straight-to-DVD bomb away from doing porn. DON’T YOU DIE ON ME! *sniff* You complete me.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Jimbo

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. verga

    first assholes!

  3. Andrew

    haha first holy shit for brains i have to go jack off right now

  4. Jimbo

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Jimbo

    FRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Sport

    Wow. Just. Wow.

  7. tara

    WTF is that rash on her ta-ta’s and distended belly?
    Scabies, it looks like.
    4th

  8. cooter

    “First” comments should be followed up with a kick to the nuts or a slap in the fucking mouth. Nice job dumb ass!

  9. havoc

    Dude, stop with the Amy pics.

    Seriously. So many hot chicks out there and you post this corpse?

    Whew….

    .

  10. Matthew

    that’s disgutsting and besides when is her 15 mins are up?

  11. Id rather stick rough Jr in a hole full of red ants!!!

  12. Tired

    The only uglier woman might be Sandra Bernhard …. what a waste of internet space in either woman’s (and I use THAT term loosely) case.

  13. desi

    But guys…….

    HER BEEHIVE IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    C’mon, does she not look a million times better without that ridiculous hair?

  14. Randal

    It’s amazing the style that Amy has found since releasing her U.S. debut Back to Black album, which has defined her own tradition. With a deeply personal touch, Amy commands settings that meld torchy doo-wop era ballads, soul and girl-group slammers, and current hip-hop winners.

    A style that will certainly define her next album and chart climbing singles.

    Randal

  15. Richard McBeef

    So she isn’t dead yet and neither is Randal. Fuck you god.

  16. Grossed-out

    I’d file my whoo-ha off with a rusty cheese grater before I’d touch that skank!

  17. p0nk

    Like amy, i’ve always thought those hospital bracelets made such a great fashion statement.

  18. the superfish latents

    I want to put my face in Amy’s buttcrack and wait for her IBS bloat to burst.

  19. The Beer Baron

    Is that Harpo Marx with a black wig on?

  20. Sgt. C. Foxtrot

    I just puked in my mouth.

  21. Kahlee

    Drugs have ruined her. She used to be ok looking, like yeah she had a big nose but she looked nice when she was all made up. Now she just looks terrifying. so sad.

  22. Damn she is hOT!!

  23. Stephanie

    this is hilarious. keep it up

  24. I love cheese toast.

  25. Zee Brat

    The one of here biting into the toast should really be the top photo.

  26. Vero

    Look at her toes on the first pic!

  27. Jjajoa

    Awww, slow news day for the paparazzi? No starlets showing off their privates? Hell, why not ring Amy Winehouse’s doorbell and see if you can score some cheap shots (hahaha! shots! get it? like, drugs!)
    Awesome.

  28. Bob

    Very funny quip as always, but you know the sad thing is that she has more talent, and will bring more happiness to world than you and I combined.

  29. Ella

    Yup.. I’m mentally ill now.

    In some of the shots (to me), she doesn’t look THAT BAD considering what she’s been through.

  30. Hannah

    Is she showing off her hospital bracelets?

  31. veggi

    Don’t you just wanna take a switch blade and slice her stomach open?

  32. That Bastard Tony

    Gaddam son. This is the kind of shit you show to teenage boys to get them to wait until marriage to have sex… or to put off having sex altogether.

    On another note, I don’t think you want to see Jessica Simpson doing porn. Celebs would make lousy porn stars (proven with every celeb sex tape out there except for Kim K) and I’m pretty sure Jessica would sleep walk thru all of her scenes.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spray myself in both eyes with Lysol.

  33. Danklin24

    Rofl @ 19. Im pretty sure i just threw up in my mouth. No wait, now its everywhere. Jesus, i like her better in all her scaryass makeup. This chick(if you can call her that) will be dead in 2 years.

  34. anjhest

    wow. next to this, madonna is helen of troy.

  35. Hugh Macpherson

    can you please fix your fucking RSS so that the images show – huh?

  36. mrs.t

    Most surprising to me is that she’s scabby, dirty, scratched-up and certainly crazed….and yet her eyebrows are always neatly waxed. How come whoever’s taking care of the brows can’t help out with some other, more pressing shit?

  37. Courtney

    Yep, def just threw up everywhere.

  38. Ok seriously I don’t care if she is sometimes a half decent singer. That is just plain ass disgusting.
    It’s like she died but she ain’t got the sense to lie down and accept it.

    http://toomuchfree-time.blogspot.com

  39. My ass

    Oh my GOD, please poke my eyes out. This is repulsive and downright against the fucking laws of nature for a huma nbeing to be this grotesque

  40. Stiles

    ‘Smeegel thinksss she might find PRECIOUS at door’

  41. dave

    people gain weight when they go quit using. if shes getting healthy you should cut her some slack. body issues could force her back to the junk.

  42. Jim Jones

    Wait, I thought Amy Winehouse was a woman?

  43. Dear Encyclopedia Britannica, here is the perfect visual example of the idea of: Worthless Skank.

  44. mimi

    FUCK ALL OF YOU! IT IS ASSHOLES LIKE YOU THAT HAVE MADE OUR GIRL THIS WAY, ALWAYS BEING PREYED UPON BY THE PAP SMEARS AND RIDICULED. THIS ANGEL IS OF A HIGHER GRADE OF FLESH THAN YOU GOY WILL EVER BE.

  45. Michael from WA

    Wow.

    And just like that, I’m gay.

  46. Master

    Wow shes the most beautiful thing Iv ever seen.

    Bookmarked! Masterbating everynight to it!

  47. ann

    If this ‘woman’ doesnt need a guardian, I dont know who does. Yes, in fact, those are hospital bracelets. And just FYI, her belly could be ascites from boozaholism. Can someone PLEASE assign someone to her?

  48. ummm...yeah

    STFU mimi, You’re a fucking idiot!
    That skanky bitch is repulsive.
    She needs to just fucking die already.

  49. ummm...yeah

    I’ll assign a fucking hit man to her ass.

  50. twhite

    but look how clear her skin is…
    she normally has scabs all over her face.
    this is good, hopefully she’ll start cleaning herself up now, because she is very talented.

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