Amy Winehouse needs to keep her pants on

Amy Winehouse flashed her panties again yesterday which surprisingly didn’t fully assault my eyes considering she looked somewhat pulled together. Of course, by about five a.m. she was wandering around a newsstand like a caveman who just discovered fire. After spending no less than an hour trying to figure out how a tiny version of her got into all these glossy pieces of paper, Amy made a sensible purchase of an economy-size box of popsicles. You know, so she can start the day off with a healthy breakfast. Why isn’t she hosting her own children’s show? I would totally let my kid watch it. Mostly to developmentally handicap him amongst his peers as payback for destroying my wife’s vagina. But for the life lessons as well.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin