Amy Winehouse moves in with Ozzy

February 8th, 2008 // 58 Comments

Amy Winehouse is out of rehab and has apparently scored herself some new digs – with the Osbournes. I smell a sitcom! Page Six reports:

She’s moving in with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and their daughter, Kelly, in the guesthouse of their estate outside London. The stick-figured “Rehab” singer, just out of rehab herself, is a longtime pal of Kelly, also a former rehabber. “Kelly has always been there for Amy, they are very tight,” a source tells London’s Daily Mirror.

I bet, if you walked into the Osbourne’s house while Amy Winehouse lived there, your brain would literally split in two from the onslaught of crazy. You’d be better off eating a cereal bowl full of peyote – which, coincidentally, I did before driving/riding a poodle to work. So far I’ve been unable to convince my co-workers that I’m Jesus. Looks like I’ll have to eat this marker to prove it to them. *crunch* Hmm. Tastes like butterscotch. See, Bill, I told you. Now get the messiah his coffee.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Gerald_Tarrant

    Please God, let Ozzy mistake Amy for a bat.

  2. Ozzy

    ffffffffFIRST yyyyyyou ffffffffuckers

  3. Stan

    She stays off drugs…starts gaining a little weight back…looks at Kelly…goes back on drugs.

  4. Ozzy

    dddddddDamnit i wwwwwas supposed to bbbbe first…SHARON!

  5. Sharon

    How the fuck can you fucking be first with all your fucking stuttering, you fucking twit.

  6. Hey, who put tits on a pencil?

  7. Auntie Kryst

    In future news: London cops were once again called to the Osbourne residence for noise complaints. Local residents were continually awakened by screams of “SHARON!!!!’ & “BLAKE!!!!” eminating from the home of the Prince of Darkness.

    Fuck yeah, crack open an Meister Brau and crank up “Crazy Train”, this is going to be a good one.

  8. On a related note, I just took the biggest shit of my life. The thing showed me its passport when I tried to flush it. Thank god I’m at work or I’d have to call the cops to get it out of my house.

  9. Bill Clinton

    Hey, who put a fat chick on a cigar? Ha ha ha just kiddin. You’re doing great, honey. We’re gonna win this thing.

  10. You are a professional singer. You represent the music industry. They all had their tough times but most go on to be great. I do hope you make it. Love you. BTW, I just saw your profile on a celebrity and millioniare dating site (MillMatch.com) Is that you?

  11. You are a professional singer. You represent the music industry. They all had their tough times but most go on to be great. I do hope you make it. Love you. BTW, I just saw your profile on a celebrity and millioniare dating site (MillMatch.com) Is that you?

  12. woodhorse

    I think it’s very considerate of them to make themselves one convenient target. A bit out of character, but convenient.

  13. Gerald_Tarrant

    Amy was told to stay at a halfway house after rehab. I guess Ozzy’s place is halfway between a Nuthouse and a Crackhouse. I’m not sure if that is the halfway they were recommending to Amy.

  14. D. Richards

    I’d like to see the look on Amy’s face after the first time she sees Ozzy naked.

  15. Iggy

    So you’re invited to this awesome party at the Osbournes, with tons of music and alcohol and drugs. You get totally wasted. You wake up the next morning, naked, and in bed with…Kelly Osbourne and Amy Winehouse.

  16. Jeezy

    Out of rehab already? She was there for what, fifteen minutes?!

    This dirty bitch really needs to do a full three month stint in rehab. There’s no way she’s clean now. Well, there’s no way she’ll ever really be clean, but you know what I mean…

  17. Fit & Petite

    She has good posture just like me. I hope she gets well soon because she has an amazing voice.

  18. Fit & Petite

    She has good posture just like me. I hope she gets well soon because she has an amazing voice.

  19. D. Richards (Thoroughly disgusted.)

    #8! Is that really you, Frist?! Ennuggh, you just got me hard, baby!

    Kidding. Please never talk about your bowels again.

  20. pucky

    Damn, look at those tittays!

  21. mamadough

    17-18, a stick in the ass would give anyone good posture

  22. She should fit in nicely with the rest of the Addams Family..

  23. Conscience Found

    Slow day for celeb stalking

  24. G

    Okay. Are these new pictures? Were they taken in London? Does this woman not experience the elements like normal people?

    High temperatures in London are in the low 50s right now and she’s dressed like its the middle of summer. Is that like a crack thing?

  25. How did I get the bowel obsessed troll today??
    D.Richards, was that you??

  26. woodhorse

    The earning potential at Halloween is enormous.

    Ring the doorbell and it plays “Thriller”.

  27. @25 FRIST, each or our trolls have their own special tallents.

  28. shane

    Since she likes tattoos so much, why doesn’t she have a pretty face tattooed on her face?

  29. But no troll can make your vula wet like I can.

  30. pointandlaugh

    what the F is wrong with her back? Its all curved and shit. Does she have scoliosis or something?

  31. woodhorse

    @29 Love that, funny.

  32. FCS

    When Ozzy heard about this he said “Amy fffhshsjn nrgglle flippin peacock blarrrsh furkin sea container ggrrliss brrrabbb”

  33. TS

    FRIST I thought that seemed a tad out of character for you. And I thought you’d appreciate this, I just found out I am allergic to wine. That coming from a guy who has about $1000 worth of wine in my wine fridge. So bummed. If that spills over into scotch I am gonna kill myself.

  34. Dr. Poopenstein

    $1000 worth of wine? What is that? Like 200 bottles of night train?

  35. momo

    holy crap, nice CANS

  36. I can’t believe she’s already out! You can rehabilitate someone with a debilitating crack habit in a week? It’s wild.

  37. Former Stressed Out Software Engineer

    Her body figure reminds me of my old figure when I worked for a company with unrealistic project due dates and bad management. The stress made me lose weight and I was down to 100 pounds at 5’2″ but I still had my lovely small 34Cs. Now I have put on 8 pounds; have a nice shapely bum and full 34Cs. I hope she kicks the drug habit and lives a long and happy life. She has a beautiful voice.

  38. Former Stressed Out Software Engineer

    Her body figure reminds me of my old figure when I worked for a company with unrealistic project due dates and bad management. The stress made me lose weight and I was down to 100 pounds at 5’2″ but I still had my lovely small 34Cs. Now I have put on 8 pounds; have a nice shapely bum and full 34Cs. I hope she kicks the drug habit and lives a long and happy life. She has a beautiful voice.

  39. Chauncey Gardner

    You know, I’m starting to think Amy Winehouse is a post-op tranny. Yesterday, I was at a Pei Wei Asian Diner, and there was a post-op tranny working there that had almost exactly the same body shape as Winehouse, especially around the (virtually non-existent) hips. ::shudder::

  40. D. Richards (Mastif.)

    #25. I don’t ‘troll’. I have my own persona.

    I’m glad that you weren’t #8 because the link that was provided was for a myspace page, and the woman therein was a fucking monster.

  41. bored in DC

    you can develop allergies to wine?

  42. Ted from LA

    #37 Send photos.

  43. Nice boob job, Amy.

  44. Whinnyhouse

    Bitch put on some weight or go back to Auschwitz.

  45. Thomas

    Remember, those were the same tits that smelled so bad, she almost made herself vomit.

    Sharon!?!? There’s a beehived titstress wand’rin me ‘ouse…

    She shat on tha’ cah’pet, goddamnit!

  46. Former Stressed Out Software Engineer

    #43
    Amy does not have a boob job. She is like me and we just have what seems to be big boobs for a petite person. I am 5’2″ and have a natural full 34C cup. When I was stressed out at work; I got down to 100 pounds and had a small 34C cup. Amy’s boobs are obviously real because she has a beautiful natural clevage. Fake boobs are wider and the cleavage looks unnatural too.

  47. gus

    I can picture that veiny, painted arm furiously masturbating me to a climax all over those tits. Before the spasms of orgasm have even finished, I’m feeling intense guilt and would rather be anywhere else but there, lying naked on that crusty bedspread, trying to avoid eye-contact with the whore whom minutes before had seemed almost desirable. Thank God lust didn’t completely corrupt my thinking and I’m not now having to climb off her.

  48. D. Richards (penis envy)

    I am working on a webpage for you guys. It will be available for all my fans soon enough so try to get lives for the weekend.
    It will feature all of my famous rants and raves. The stuff that makes this site so enjoyable. Well enough of me for now for all you losers.
    Ass meat and grey nut hairs.

  49. titsonsnack

    I think that every time she shaves the hair off her forearms, she adds it to the top of her head.

  50. crazy otto

    ozzy is the new betty ford

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