Amy Winehouse is out of rehab and has apparently scored herself some new digs – with the Osbournes. I smell a sitcom! Page Six reports:
She’s moving in with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and their daughter, Kelly, in the guesthouse of their estate outside London. The stick-figured “Rehab” singer, just out of rehab herself, is a longtime pal of Kelly, also a former rehabber. “Kelly has always been there for Amy, they are very tight,” a source tells London’s Daily Mirror.
I bet, if you walked into the Osbourne’s house while Amy Winehouse lived there, your brain would literally split in two from the onslaught of crazy. You’d be better off eating a cereal bowl full of peyote – which, coincidentally, I did before driving/riding a poodle to work. So far I’ve been unable to convince my co-workers that I’m Jesus. Looks like I’ll have to eat this marker to prove it to them. *crunch* Hmm. Tastes like butterscotch. See, Bill, I told you. Now get the messiah his coffee.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 8, 2008 at 11:34 am
Please God, let Ozzy mistake Amy for a bat.
Ozzy | February 8, 2008 at 11:35 am
ffffffffFIRST yyyyyyou ffffffffuckers
Stan | February 8, 2008 at 11:36 am
She stays off drugs…starts gaining a little weight back…looks at Kelly…goes back on drugs.
Ozzy | February 8, 2008 at 11:38 am
dddddddDamnit i wwwwwas supposed to bbbbe first…SHARON!
Sharon | February 8, 2008 at 11:40 am
How the fuck can you fucking be first with all your fucking stuttering, you fucking twit.
RichPort | February 8, 2008 at 11:41 am
Hey, who put tits on a pencil?
Auntie Kryst | February 8, 2008 at 11:44 am
In future news: London cops were once again called to the Osbourne residence for noise complaints. Local residents were continually awakened by screams of “SHARON!!!!’ & “BLAKE!!!!” eminating from the home of the Prince of Darkness.
Fuck yeah, crack open an Meister Brau and crank up “Crazy Train”, this is going to be a good one.
FRIST!!! | February 8, 2008 at 11:47 am
On a related note, I just took the biggest shit of my life. The thing showed me its passport when I tried to flush it. Thank god I’m at work or I’d have to call the cops to get it out of my house.
Bill Clinton | February 8, 2008 at 11:49 am
Hey, who put a fat chick on a cigar? Ha ha ha just kiddin. You’re doing great, honey. We’re gonna win this thing.
anglefan | February 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
You are a professional singer. You represent the music industry. They all had their tough times but most go on to be great. I do hope you make it. Love you. BTW, I just saw your profile on a celebrity and millioniare dating site (MillMatch.com) Is that you?
anglefan | February 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
You are a professional singer. You represent the music industry. They all had their tough times but most go on to be great. I do hope you make it. Love you. BTW, I just saw your profile on a celebrity and millioniare dating site (MillMatch.com) Is that you?
woodhorse | February 8, 2008 at 11:52 am
I think it’s very considerate of them to make themselves one convenient target. A bit out of character, but convenient.
Gerald_Tarrant | February 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Amy was told to stay at a halfway house after rehab. I guess Ozzy’s place is halfway between a Nuthouse and a Crackhouse. I’m not sure if that is the halfway they were recommending to Amy.
D. Richards | February 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm
I’d like to see the look on Amy’s face after the first time she sees Ozzy naked.
Iggy | February 8, 2008 at 12:05 pm
So you’re invited to this awesome party at the Osbournes, with tons of music and alcohol and drugs. You get totally wasted. You wake up the next morning, naked, and in bed with…Kelly Osbourne and Amy Winehouse.
Jeezy | February 8, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Out of rehab already? She was there for what, fifteen minutes?!
This dirty bitch really needs to do a full three month stint in rehab. There’s no way she’s clean now. Well, there’s no way she’ll ever really be clean, but you know what I mean…
Fit & Petite | February 8, 2008 at 12:11 pm
She has good posture just like me. I hope she gets well soon because she has an amazing voice.
Fit & Petite | February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm
She has good posture just like me. I hope she gets well soon because she has an amazing voice.
D. Richards (Thoroughly disgusted.) | February 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm
#8! Is that really you, Frist?! Ennuggh, you just got me hard, baby!
Kidding. Please never talk about your bowels again.
pucky | February 8, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Damn, look at those tittays!
mamadough | February 8, 2008 at 12:19 pm
17-18, a stick in the ass would give anyone good posture
McLoven | February 8, 2008 at 12:21 pm
She should fit in nicely with the rest of the Addams Family..
Conscience Found | February 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Slow day for celeb stalking
G | February 8, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Okay. Are these new pictures? Were they taken in London? Does this woman not experience the elements like normal people?
High temperatures in London are in the low 50s right now and she’s dressed like its the middle of summer. Is that like a crack thing?
FRIST!!! | February 8, 2008 at 12:25 pm
How did I get the bowel obsessed troll today??
D.Richards, was that you??
woodhorse | February 8, 2008 at 12:32 pm
The earning potential at Halloween is enormous.
Ring the doorbell and it plays “Thriller”.
McLoven | February 8, 2008 at 12:48 pm
@25 FRIST, each or our trolls have their own special tallents.
shane | February 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Since she likes tattoos so much, why doesn’t she have a pretty face tattooed on her face?
McLoven | February 8, 2008 at 12:57 pm
But no troll can make your vula wet like I can.
pointandlaugh | February 8, 2008 at 12:58 pm
what the F is wrong with her back? Its all curved and shit. Does she have scoliosis or something?
woodhorse | February 8, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@29 Love that, funny.
FCS | February 8, 2008 at 1:03 pm
When Ozzy heard about this he said “Amy fffhshsjn nrgglle flippin peacock blarrrsh furkin sea container ggrrliss brrrabbb”
TS | February 8, 2008 at 1:19 pm
FRIST I thought that seemed a tad out of character for you. And I thought you’d appreciate this, I just found out I am allergic to wine. That coming from a guy who has about $1000 worth of wine in my wine fridge. So bummed. If that spills over into scotch I am gonna kill myself.
Dr. Poopenstein | February 8, 2008 at 1:38 pm
$1000 worth of wine? What is that? Like 200 bottles of night train?
momo | February 8, 2008 at 1:50 pm
holy crap, nice CANS
KoolThing | February 8, 2008 at 2:09 pm
I can’t believe she’s already out! You can rehabilitate someone with a debilitating crack habit in a week? It’s wild.
Former Stressed Out Software Engineer | February 8, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Her body figure reminds me of my old figure when I worked for a company with unrealistic project due dates and bad management. The stress made me lose weight and I was down to 100 pounds at 5’2″ but I still had my lovely small 34Cs. Now I have put on 8 pounds; have a nice shapely bum and full 34Cs. I hope she kicks the drug habit and lives a long and happy life. She has a beautiful voice.
Former Stressed Out Software Engineer | February 8, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Her body figure reminds me of my old figure when I worked for a company with unrealistic project due dates and bad management. The stress made me lose weight and I was down to 100 pounds at 5’2″ but I still had my lovely small 34Cs. Now I have put on 8 pounds; have a nice shapely bum and full 34Cs. I hope she kicks the drug habit and lives a long and happy life. She has a beautiful voice.
Chauncey Gardner | February 8, 2008 at 2:36 pm
You know, I’m starting to think Amy Winehouse is a post-op tranny. Yesterday, I was at a Pei Wei Asian Diner, and there was a post-op tranny working there that had almost exactly the same body shape as Winehouse, especially around the (virtually non-existent) hips. ::shudder::
D. Richards (Mastif.) | February 8, 2008 at 2:49 pm
#25. I don’t ‘troll’. I have my own persona.
I’m glad that you weren’t #8 because the link that was provided was for a myspace page, and the woman therein was a fucking monster.
bored in DC | February 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm
you can develop allergies to wine?
Ted from LA | February 8, 2008 at 3:26 pm
#37 Send photos.
Famous Plastic | February 8, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Nice boob job, Amy.
Whinnyhouse | February 8, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Bitch put on some weight or go back to Auschwitz.
Thomas | February 8, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Remember, those were the same tits that smelled so bad, she almost made herself vomit.
Sharon!?!? There’s a beehived titstress wand’rin me ‘ouse…
She shat on tha’ cah’pet, goddamnit!
Former Stressed Out Software Engineer | February 8, 2008 at 5:13 pm
#43
Amy does not have a boob job. She is like me and we just have what seems to be big boobs for a petite person. I am 5’2″ and have a natural full 34C cup. When I was stressed out at work; I got down to 100 pounds and had a small 34C cup. Amy’s boobs are obviously real because she has a beautiful natural clevage. Fake boobs are wider and the cleavage looks unnatural too.
gus | February 8, 2008 at 5:33 pm
I can picture that veiny, painted arm furiously masturbating me to a climax all over those tits. Before the spasms of orgasm have even finished, I’m feeling intense guilt and would rather be anywhere else but there, lying naked on that crusty bedspread, trying to avoid eye-contact with the whore whom minutes before had seemed almost desirable. Thank God lust didn’t completely corrupt my thinking and I’m not now having to climb off her.
D. Richards (penis envy) | February 8, 2008 at 6:43 pm
I am working on a webpage for you guys. It will be available for all my fans soon enough so try to get lives for the weekend.
It will feature all of my famous rants and raves. The stuff that makes this site so enjoyable. Well enough of me for now for all you losers.
Ass meat and grey nut hairs.
titsonsnack | February 8, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I think that every time she shaves the hair off her forearms, she adds it to the top of her head.
crazy otto | February 8, 2008 at 11:05 pm
ozzy is the new betty ford