Amy Winehouse is all kinds of falling apart
Amy Winehouse is literally coming to pieces. She was spotted yesterday looking like the missing link and not wearing her beehive while hanging out with friends. Turns out the beehive conceals a bald spot that is either a.) a by-product of the beehive or b.) the effects of snorting more coke than Keith Richards in a silo full of blow. On top of that, someone is actually having sex with Amy (*HORF HORF HORF*) which is leading to a rapid divorce from her jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil. Blake, apparently, has his own new lady and is ready to take Amy’s cash and run, according to The Sun:
Blake has been bragging to pals that Amy, 24, will have to pay him a seven-figure sum to get him off her back. He is set to demand at least $3 million as a divorce settlement, telling his lawyers he wants $250,000 for each month of their year-long marriage — despite being in jail for part of it.
A friend said: “Blake is convinced that Amy owes him big time. He is telling everyone that he’s got millions coming to him. She’s his meal ticket for life.”
If you’re asking me, Blake is selling himself way short. He stuck his penis in Amy’s vagina, for God’s sake! I dare you to find me a judge that won’t say Blake deserves no less than 20 gajillion dollars – or at least a Wii. I mean, seriously, I don’t know how the guy did it. These pictures alone make me want to pour hot coffee into my retina. I’m sure the drugs helped, but Jesus, there’s only so much out there. Their honeymoon alone probably secured Colombia’s economy until the Robot Revolution of 2026.