Amy Winehouse is in rehab


Singer Amy Winehouse and her husband Blake Fielder-Civil finally admitted they have a drug problem and checked into rehab over the weekend. Apparently Amy collapsed last week after taking a cocktail of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine and the horse tranquillizer ketamine. The Daily Mail reports:

She was reported to have been caught smoking heroin in her suite by a friend, at which point her father Mitch flipped. Taxi driver Mitch arrived the next day with his wife Janis, and Fielder-Civil’s stepfather Giles Civil and mother Georgette. According to a source close to the family, the meeting descended into a row and at one point Mr Winehouse grabbed Mr Civil by the throat. The source told a newspaper: “It broke Amy’s heart to see her parents and in-laws fighting. “That was when she realized the drink and drugs were causing problems for everyone.”

You know when I would’ve realized I had a problem? When I was taking goddamn horse tranquilizers. Yeah, taking something meant for a horse is usually a pretty good sign you need help. How is she even still alive? She weighs like 75 pounds. She must be some sort of witch. Screw rehab, we need to burn this chick at the stake. It’s the only way she can be stopped.