Amy Winehouse could be joining the ranks of Tom Cruise. She’s been contacted by the Church of Scientology who think they can cure her using their Narconon system which, God Xenu willing, involves sticking your face in a volcano. The Daily Mirror reports:
One of Amy’s inner circle tells me: “She had a call from the celebrity branch of the Church Of Scientology. She thinks they got her number through one of the American music producers who worked on her Back to Black album. They told her they wanted to help her beat drugs and could tailor-make a programme so she wouldn’t have to go to a residential centre. She liked that idea because her husband Blake is out of prison soon and wouldn’t want to be away from him when he’s finally freed.”
Judging by these pics, I’m sure Amy’s father Mitch is open to any help he can get:
MITCH: Amy, love, these Scientologist blokes want to help.
AMY: Me ass, daddy. They want to turn me into a zombie like the Katie Holmes fellow.
MITCH: Will you just hear them out?
AMY: I’ll shit in me bloody shoe first.
MITCH: Amy, dear, you already shat in your shoe.
AMY: I mean me other ones.
MITCH: Those too.
AMY: Right… let me see your shoe a bit then, dad?
MITCH: No.
me | October 7, 2008 at 9:03 am
1st
me | October 7, 2008 at 9:04 am
1st
Air Mail | October 7, 2008 at 9:13 am
That must be false: She is not rich enough and a closet homosexual.
sb | October 7, 2008 at 9:18 am
I see this as proof that Scientologists are trying to take over the world–they want to take use Winehouse’s apparently indestructible body and brainwash her (although that may be a bit tricky since there’s not much to work with) to turn her into the ultimate weapon. She’ll be like the Terminator, only with more coke residue.
Max Planck | October 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
They are just trying to attract a better class of people then they have been able to so far.
Arska | October 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
Qualifications: crazy enough – check
nick | October 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
Old news
friendlyfires | October 7, 2008 at 9:21 am
A collection of Amy Winehouse now and then slideshow
http://www.popeater.com/music/article/amy-winehouse-rewind/198656
jamie | October 7, 2008 at 9:25 am
She kinda looks like Mick Jagger in that last one.
The Minister of Common Sense | October 7, 2008 at 9:27 am
Seriously, could Scientology be any worse for her?! I love this new blog – check it out: The Minister of Common Sense at theministerofcommonsense.blogspot.com
havoc | October 7, 2008 at 9:32 am
Its too late.
She’ll be dead by the end of the year….
.
Rough Daddy | October 7, 2008 at 9:41 am
Remanence of early man.
Deacon Jones | October 7, 2008 at 9:47 am
Her bodyguard looks terrified of her
Chenush | October 7, 2008 at 9:50 am
she won’t be dead. she already is.
haterrrrrrrr | October 7, 2008 at 9:58 am
she has got to be the ugliest person alive.
grobpilot | October 7, 2008 at 10:06 am
One benefit: She’ll destroy that church in short order. Nothing could handle a train wreck like her.
Rant | October 7, 2008 at 10:07 am
Chicken legs on sale…..two for a dollar!!!!
Richard McBeef | October 7, 2008 at 10:14 am
someone should shoot her. and scientologists.
scientology is a bed-shitting scam and fuck all those sorry saps that buy, quite literally, into it. fuck em all.
supersex | October 7, 2008 at 10:40 am
that’s one ugly ass bitch
lloyd johnson | October 7, 2008 at 10:49 am
I just threw up.
shirin | October 7, 2008 at 10:53 am
she is truly a testament to what the human body can withstand and overcome
Face Palm | October 7, 2008 at 11:04 am
I don’t think that is a bodyguard for her as much as to keep random innocent by-standers out of harms way of contracting some mutated strain of her disease of the day…
theDogg | October 7, 2008 at 11:07 am
It looks like she is about to turn into the Incredible Hulk in pic #1. That ugly bitch is all green and shit. “Your not going to like me when I’m Angry!!!”
bobby carozza | October 7, 2008 at 11:11 am
I hope she gets high on PCP and beats Tom Cruise to death
zuzuspetals | October 7, 2008 at 11:15 am
She looks like she’s auditioning for the role of Rumplestiltskin.
huazai | October 7, 2008 at 11:18 am
I heard she joined the club [__"tallhub.com"__]which is the biggest club in world for 18+ singles from different countries to meet cute girls or handsome men.They are tall and slender in build,hot and sexy.Join them,and go on have a look…
Good luck for you,wish you find your girls or guys.
Hatey McWrathenstein | October 7, 2008 at 11:18 am
HOLY SHITE – Gollum is realzz!
Ted from LA | October 7, 2008 at 11:19 am
She looks fine. What’s the problem? Check out her legs. She must be hitting the gym frequently.
Chenush | October 7, 2008 at 11:24 am
#26: really? she joined?
yay.
norton | October 7, 2008 at 11:50 am
Doesn’t this chicks record label have any control over her?
Jammy | October 7, 2008 at 11:56 am
mmm…ahhhhh…. maybe not such a bad idea, considering….
Only thing is, Scientology doesn’t allow Jews, do they?
mike | October 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm
wow she looks terrible, am I the only one who thinks ‘jaundice’ when I see those pictures??
mamadough | October 7, 2008 at 12:01 pm
where’s that stupid cunt mimi to defend this crack monkey?
i agree with #16, the church will try to strip her dry of the rest of her money that isn’t spent on drugs, and in return she will go batshit crazy on their asses. you can’t keep amy quiet and controlled like you do all the other drones who buy into that cult shit. and after being exposed to them, do you think she’d keep any of their secrets quiet? the church and amy are both fucking clown shoes.
MightyD | October 7, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Look at the big guy’s face in the back…he’s like “WTF!”…I’m guessing he’s either staring at a hairy plumber’s butt crack whore…see what I did here…crack + whore… or thinking he would’nt even fuck that ass with that other camera guy’s dick!…And the camera guy seems to think the same thing.
Ray Daddy | October 7, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Looks like she did a batman right out of that garbage can…. maybe that’s her dressing by her appearance.
Needledick The Bug Fucker | October 7, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Damn !!!
Mick Jagger back on heroin again?
JY | October 7, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Is her jacket caught in her beehive?
Amy Winehouse is a HOT MESS.
haha | October 7, 2008 at 1:01 pm
Zombie
Mimi | October 7, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Amy has disappointed me with her wanting ways. I am no longer praying for her.
Rich | October 7, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Scientology just wants to milk her for whatever money she has left. Did the same to poor Katie Holmes who got involved with that gay Tom Cruise. Why do you think that Katie is in New York, she needs to work since they drained her finances.
Lisa | October 7, 2008 at 1:29 pm
She would say ‘arse’ not ‘ass’
friendlystoner | October 7, 2008 at 1:35 pm
if thats the sort of recruit Scientologst want in there group thats fine. it just means a quicker end to tom cruise`s “religion.” the sooner the better i say.
nancy | October 7, 2008 at 1:54 pm
she is disgustingly thin. disgustingly.
Mike Litoris | October 7, 2008 at 2:06 pm
BRAINS… NEED BRAINS!
Rant | October 7, 2008 at 2:36 pm
That has to be fucking wig. With the way this bitch has gone done hill she has to be balding.
herbiefrog | October 7, 2008 at 2:39 pm
we wern’t [aren't] supposed tp copmment
shhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so anyway… someone said…
“Scientology doesn’t allow Jews, do they? ”
are wqe nearly there yet ?
are they getting that it’xs just a joke
just like the “real” thing
hello ???
starving people out there ?
can we help ?
shhhhh
woodhorse | October 7, 2008 at 2:40 pm
10 bucks on Amy in the third round. I look for TCLTC to go out crying. Doesn’t look good for America. Rematch with Harry Dean Stanton.
Slut | October 7, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I like how the guy in the back looks like he has that “I just threw up in my mouth” look
Me | October 7, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Wow she looks worse than ever. I thought that was Mick Jagger.
tc | October 7, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Check her out on Youtube – ‘later with jools holland’
Incredibly, about four years ago she was undeniably an attractive woman.