Amy Winehouse charged with assault

March 6th, 2009 // 42 Comments

The new, crack-free Amy Winehouse (above) has just been charged today with assault from an incident in September when she punched a fan in the eye, according to the AP:

The retro-soul singer was charged with assault Thursday for allegedly attacking a fan at an end-of-summer ball in London on Sept. 26, police and the singer’s representative said.
Dancer Sherene Flash had been quoted by tabloid newspapers as saying she was hit in the eye by the 25-year-old “Back to Black” singer after asking to take her picture at the Berkeley Ball, a charity function held in central London’s Berkeley Square.

I don’t really see how this woman can press charges. I mean, it’s pretty much a given there’s two crucial components to an Amy Winehouse performance:

1. Incoherent renditions of your favorite songs.
2. Physical assault for everyone!

To put things in perspective, that’d be like going to a Jessica Simpson concert and complaining it smells like bacon. It’s called common sense, people. Use it.

Photos: Splash News
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Comments (42)

  1. andy7171 | March 6, 2009 at 11:18 am

    1st

    Reply
  2. ROUGH DADDY | March 6, 2009 at 11:20 am

    How does this stick figure parody get to throw a punch!

    Reply
  3. oscar | March 6, 2009 at 11:20 am

    Ever saw this one on ___ Affluentmeet Com ___
    It ‘s where you have the opportunity dreaming about dating a millionaire and make it true!

    Reply
  4. WE RUN THIS CITY. | March 6, 2009 at 11:22 am

    God damn that is one ugly human.

    Reply
  5. Rachel | March 6, 2009 at 11:22 am

    what in the FUCK is up with the gay as hell Kardashian advertisements?

    i fucking hate them and i thought you did too Fish…

    Reply
  6. ishi-san | March 6, 2009 at 11:23 am

    She washed her shoessss!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  7. Tom K | March 6, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Amy Crackhouse! LOL

    @5. I’m sure they still hate the Kardashians, but they love the money they get from E for advertising their show. Money can always sway your opinion on people.

    Reply
  8. what what in the butt?! | March 6, 2009 at 11:34 am

    is she really better for real!? is she really not cracked out!? OMG, i think we just got back one awesome singer!! GO AMY!

    Reply
  9. http://www.popduds.com | March 6, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Amy gets grosser every day.

    Reply
  10. weaselspeed | March 6, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Do you REALLY think shes crack free? REALLY? i mean, i guess shes able to do her hair into that dumb fucking beehive again, but she shes still really gross and skinny looking. Having a tan just means she was doing crack in the sun and not in some creepy mouse infested flat with no shower in it….

    Reply
  11. AndrewMacCloud | March 6, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    She should be gratefulll she survived to tell the tale , what a lousy wothless fan ….

    Normally when fans come across Amy … they’re are lucky to survive and when they do , they need to go to rehab for months just to start function normally again..

    but then again real fans don’t complain about this, it’s all part of The Amy Winehouse Experience…

    By the way Amy definitely looks better these days… only one of my eye balls popped out today, as a fan I got to punch it back in myself …

    To bad Amy ain’t around .!

    Reply
  12. Upset Stomach | March 6, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    Amy Slimehouse is easily the ugliest fuck celebrity and the most overrated. Her singing is an act and that’s it. She sings in a retarded voice like a black woman. Her thighs are deformed boney. Can you imagine the smell of her twat?

    Reply
  13. Dr Phowstus | March 6, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    If that first shot would have been an upskirt, she could have been charged with assaulting my eyes.

    Reply
  14. Apes in the White House | March 6, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Amy WInehouse, pictured below:

    ……………………………………..@@@……………………
    ………………………………@@@@@@@……………
    …………………@@@@@@@@@@@…………..
    …………..@@@……@@@@@@@@@………..
    ……..@@…………..@@..\__……__/..@@@@……..
    ……………………@@@….{Q}…..{Q}….@@@@@@……..
    ………………………..@@………..^……….@@@…………@….
    ………….@@@@@@………/…\………..@@@………..@
    ……..@@@……..@@……(0__0)………@@……..
    ……..@………….@@…………..U…………..@@@….
    …….@………..@@@…/^^^^ww^^^^\….@@@….
    …………………..@@…({..\—–O—–/..})…@@@@
    ………………@@@…..\\www—www//…@@@..
    ……………….@@*@………….^^^…………..@@@@
    ………………….@@…..\……………………/….@@@**
    ………………*@@@@\___…….___/…..@@**@@
    ……………..@@@@……/…(__)…\………@@@@**
    ………………@@@@…./……………\………@@@@@
    ………………@@@@…/……………..\.@@@@@@

    I like to smell my farts under the blankets and eat my boogers because I’m jealous of black cocks being so much bigger than mine.

    Reply
  15. Apes in the White House | March 6, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    I hate dem neegers cuz my sister done went and fucked one. and i just got her baby-makin’ hole worked in. damn. i hate dem neegers.

    her is a picture my sis:

    ……………………………………..@@@……………………
    ………………………………@@@@@@@……………
    …………………@@@@@@@@@@@…………..
    …………..@@@……@@@@@@@@@………..
    ……..@@…………..@@..\__……__/..@@@@……..
    ……………………@@@….{Q}…..{Q}….@@@@@@……..
    ………………………..@@………..^……….@@@…………@….
    ………….@@@@@@………/…\………..@@@………..@
    ……..@@@……..@@……(0__0)………@@……..
    ……..@………….@@…………..U…………..@@@….
    …….@………..@@@…/^^^^ww^^^^\….@@@….
    …………………..@@…({..\ dicks /..})…@@@@
    ………………@@@…..\\www—www//…@@@..
    ……………….@@*@………….^^^…………..@@@@
    ………………….@@…..\……………………/….@@@**
    ………………*@@@@\___…….___/…..@@**@@
    ……………..@@@@……/…(__)…\………@@@@**
    ………………@@@@…./……………\………@@@@@
    ………………@@@@…/……………..\.@@@@@@

    Reply
  16. mcSkinny | March 6, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    ::: Wino is the all the WRONG kinds of SKINNY :::
    .
    http://www.ThisIsWhyYoureSkinny.com

    Reply
  17. Blah Girls | March 6, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Weirdo alert!!!

    Reply
  18. Nadeen | March 6, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Umm .. ! @$%^&* That Hair !!! @#$%^&*(

    Reply
  19. Nadeen | March 6, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    SKINNY !

    Reply
  20. is our children learning? | March 6, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    new shoes yay!

    Reply
  21. Deechronic | March 6, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    honistly she probaly just flashed her kitty at her

    Reply
  22. gosyco | March 6, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I’ve been assaulted every time I look at her picture.
    Is there a statute of limitations?

    Good graaaaeeeesheeeus!

    Reply
  23. Packzilla | March 6, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    She looks like a sick T-Rex coming out of the car.

    Reply
  24. tiny dancer | March 6, 2009 at 3:11 pm

    Yay! New ballet shoes for Amy!!

    Reply
  25. Gando | March 6, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    Is this photo recently taken? She looks much better! She has from her nature already a lot of fire in her butt.Add some chemicals to that and what do you get? An uncontrolled projectile.What else could we expect from her? I think it’s not really a big deal.

    Reply
  26. Nero | March 6, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    She should drink more booze! The fire needs to be extinguished!

    Reply
  27. Lex | March 6, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Aww, I hope she doesn’t cancel her Coachella performance. . .I am looking forward to a cracktastic time!

    Reply
  28. Darth | March 6, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    I’d better not imagine what happen when you light her gasses.Atomic propulsion?

    Reply
  29. Joe Blow | March 6, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    Assault? What did she do, flash her pussy at a crowd?

    Reply
  30. lori | March 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    That is a nightmarish hairdo, but she will probably still be wearing it well into her 40′s.

    Reply
  31. sarah | March 6, 2009 at 11:31 pm

    Her skin looks much better… if she puts on a little weight and stays clean, she just may prove to be a worthwhile human, huh, go figure!

    Reply
  32. RaraAvis | March 6, 2009 at 11:50 pm

    Oh, yea, she’s drug free all right – just look at those pupils. She’s lit up like a Christmas tree. And after all those pix of her ugly hair in St. Lucia, the fake crackhive no longer does it for me.

    Reply
  33. gerard Vandenberg | March 7, 2009 at 1:39 am

    TRY ME, it would be a pleasure for me!!

    Reply
  34. Narcissist | March 7, 2009 at 5:54 am

    I’ll give her a bag of crack if she’ll stop wearing those ugly shoes.

    She shouldn’t go barefoot, though.

    Reply
  35. concutionista | March 7, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    does anyone else remind the picture of a velociraptor, jurassic park anyone?

    Reply
  36. Alex | March 7, 2009 at 6:03 pm

    Those shoes are so fucking annoying! You are not a ballerina!!!!!!!

    Reply
  37. amber | March 9, 2009 at 1:13 am

    All of my sympathy for her has gone away. She is just old news now.
    She is just a spoiled brat.

    Reply
  38. Amaranth | March 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    Marilyn Manson, nuff said

    Reply
  39. bea's hives | March 9, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    She had to get new shoes, she smoked her old ones…

    Reply
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    OMGWEARSOMEREALSHOES!!

    Reply
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    Reply
  42. digital camera memory cards | May 6, 2010 at 1:28 am

    Damned dumb I think her hair again in summerhouse shes able to do it, but shes still really gross looking and thin. In a feeble voice he sings like a black woman. Her thighs are distorted bony. Can you imagine the smell of her twat?

    Reply

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