Amy Winehouse cancels tour

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Amy Winehouse has cancelled the remainder of her tour dates. It was an expected announcement considering her poor performances which led to audience members walking out. She made the decision yesterday afternoon after a tearful meeting with her management, according to The Sun:

In a statement Amy, 24, said: “I can’t give it my all onstage without my Blake. I’m so sorry but I don’t want to do the shows half-heartedly; I love singing. My husband is everything to me and without him it’s just not the same.”

Dammit, and I had tickets. I was hoping to see Amy Winehouse forget the words to her own songs then snort coke out of her beehive. It was going to be a classy evening of a culture and music. I even bought one of those beer-can hats. Except I modified it to hold two bottles of Jack Daniels. I tested it out the other night. Legally, I’m not allowed to say how it went. Though my lawyer says the black box proved the chimp was flying the plane. So that’s who I got to play “Lost” with me. He must’ve been Matthew Fox and I was the mysterious smoke creature that pukes on flight attendants. I’ll admit; the monkey was right. That was the best drinking game I’ve ever played.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin