Amy Winehouse + booze = HEADBUTT RAMPAGE

April 24th, 2008 // 132 Comments

Saying that Amy Winehouse fell off the wagon would be a gross understatement. She basically turned into the Incredible Drinking Hulk, smashed the wagon to pieces then downed a water silo filled with Jack Daniels. And, judging by her activities last night, that’s probably the most accurate metaphor to ever be written since the invention of words. The Sun reports:

Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.
She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only HALF her promised fare home.

She also headbutted a dude in the face for not letting her play pool before heading home. But once she got there, Amy realized, “Wait, this night needs more headbutting.” So, she sauntered off to a nearby pub to make sure more faces got butted. She’s a pro. Gotta give her that:

“She was off her face, throwing drinks around and turning over tables. Amy screamed, ‘I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs’.”
Another man tried to get her a cab, but she reportedly thought he was trying to molest her and allegedly butted him in the face.

Okay, somebody needs to fill Amy up with gin and dump her in Afghanistan. Bam! Terrorism solved by way of headbutting. I can hear their cries now: “Run! It is bride of Satan! Her breasts like that of dead camel. For real, my bro. Quickly, go find CIA. Electrocution to the testicles is walk in sand park compared to this. Oh, dear Allah, who would unleash such a beast?!” I really should work at the Pentagon. I’d get shit done.

superficial

  1. Deva

    She’s so hot. My penis hates me right now. First?

  2. jason mcbride

    i dont wanna be first

  3. ch474

    Craptacular

  4. Princess

    FIRST

  5. Paul Veryze

    Rode hard and put away wet!

  6. supersoaker

    I just jizzed. God damn she hot.

  7. mimi

    Dear Lord help the poor thing!

    Praying for AMY!

  8. jumpin_j

    They don’t call her Winehouse for nothing. Amy W. 1993-2008. I’m not wishing this, but if anyone thinks this ain’t gonna happen should start smoking what ever she’s doing.

  9. Gia

    I cannot say anything negative about Amy because she has talent but is misguided. I hope Amy makes a full recovery. The only people I can make negative comments about are Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian because they are worthless no talent media whores.

  10. lipper

    She is SO pretty! We could all learn some make-up tricks by this filly!

    … yeah like for Halloween! I wonder how many will dress up as her this year!

  11. mamadough

    anyone else notice that her hairline in front has about 1/2 inch difference?

  12. Anonymous

    Next up: A Britney Spears/Amy Winehouse duet album!!

  13. lipper

    I just realized! It IS Frankenstein and his bride!

    Freaky shit.

  14. Facilitypro

    She always has the most precious facial expressions.

    And apparently they’re contagious–she must have a “retard face” aura that affects anyone within 10 yards.

  15. the best thing this moron could do for society would be to choke to death on her own vomit.

    #4 – very lame.

  16. Andy

    THAT’S the guy that was hiding in my closet when I was growing up. I told my mom he was real but she didn’t believe me.

  17. Danielle

    I’d party with her

  18. Danielle

    I’d party with her

  19. Uncle Sam

    British people are so attractive!

  20. Seriously, she is easily the ugliest person on the planet. She has 1 song, that isn’t that great, where does she get money for all these drugs???

    It is hard to believe ANYBODY can look this bad! LOL,

  21. mamadough

    for reals #16, that’s the way to get kids to behave…..”if you don’t knock your shit off, amy winehouse will come to get you in your sleep!”

  22. Auntie Kryst

    FUCK YEAH!! That’s great crazy, I love this story. I bet Keith Moon and Oliver Reed are smiling down upon her from drunk limey heaven, and John Bonham just threw a TV over the Pearly Gates.

  23. simoncornball

    “In other news, auditions for the sequel to 2004′s Dawn of The Dead remake continued today in London. Director Zack Snyder said he was especially looking for potential candidates who possessed, as he put it; “weird bodily attributes” or “facial disfigurations”

    just saying like.

  24. Amie

    I just about puked up my salad when I saw this picture

  25. Amie

    I just about puked up my salad when I saw this picture

  26. mike

    Aren’t you just dying to see what her pussy smells like? Seriously, aren’t you? But what if it gave you a hardon? That’d be tough to live with, afterwards. Not for Jimbo, mind you, but for otherwise normal guys.

  27. dude

    okay, my superfishian peeps, I dont’ have a smarmy or witty comment because I’m FUCKING FLABBERGASTED. GEEZ I’ve never seen a woman look this bad, I mean, check out pic #3. For me, it’s all about pic #3. You gotta be kidding me. Holy eye gouging batman.

  28. BeepSneep

    She’s lookin’ hot! And Solomon Grundy obviously thinks so too!

  29. deacon jones

    SEE what her pussy SMELLS like? you sure are retarded mike. definately full of retarded tardisms. Super duper retarded, in the most retarded way. Retard.

  30. dude

    Seriously, does anybody else think she looks like a Collie in Pic#3? It’s the elongated face. A Tranny Collie.

  31. Girl

    Same-old, same-old. Yeah, Amy looks terrible. Right next to her is Lurch, who looks even worse.

    It’s just the typical post with bikini pictures, where the girl’s body is criticized in microscopic detail, while Mr. Harry Beerbelly O’Mantits is standing (jiggling) in the background.

    The story here is about her BEHAVIOR.

    But – hey look! – shiny pictures…

  32. Dorito Man

    She will look awful when she’s forty. A one woman freak show.

  33. George Washington

    Her pics should be in scratch and sniff format.
    My bad, you can smell that shit from here….

  34. #32 – She’s not 40 yet? Mine eyes doth deceive me…..

  35. George Washington

    Damn, is her escort Mick Jagger?

  36. mike has two scoops of tard

    Yup. retarded.

  37. Death

    I hope she dies soon

  38. Delicious Alcohol

    God Damn! Now that’s my kind of party.

  39. In Awe

    @21. mamadough – Darkness Falls would be the movie -
    Starring Amy Winehouse

  40. Sounds like a typical Wednesday night to me..

  41. Vince Lombardi

    MARIE?!?!???

  42. tp

    Nightmares for the rest of my life

  43. Anexio

    Alice Cooper looks older and nastier than a man of his age should look.

    Out.

  44. Gia

    #43

    lol!

    Good one! Makes me want to listen to Alice Cooper.

  45. mrs.t

    She’s simply breathtaking.

    I wonder if I’ve ever been so high that I was crosseyed? No one ever mentioned it….

  46. Disney Fan

    Picture 7, it looks like Dick Van Dyke & Julie Andrews are reprising their roles in Guy Ritchie’s remake of Mary Poppins The Tweeker. “Chim chimminy chim chimmery, we got spiders crawling under our skin.”

  47. Disney Fan

    I meant picture 4.

  48. CB

    She’s out partying with Frankenberry. That’s bitchin’, where’s Count Chocula?

  49. Sam_On_Ella

    There are men that have stuck their penis in that. Brave, brave souls. I salute you.

  50. combustion8

    shes currently the ugliest jew in existence.

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