Saying that Amy Winehouse fell off the wagon would be a gross understatement. She basically turned into the Incredible Drinking Hulk, smashed the wagon to pieces then downed a water silo filled with Jack Daniels. And, judging by her activities last night, that’s probably the most accurate metaphor to ever be written since the invention of words. The Sun reports:
Onlookers told how the married singer also SNOGGED a mystery fella at a nightspot and shocked punters by overturning tables and drinks.
She was later seen smoking drugs in the street, walked into a lamppost, and riled a cabbie by paying only HALF her promised fare home.
She also headbutted a dude in the face for not letting her play pool before heading home. But once she got there, Amy realized, “Wait, this night needs more headbutting.” So, she sauntered off to a nearby pub to make sure more faces got butted. She’s a pro. Gotta give her that:
“She was off her face, throwing drinks around and turning over tables. Amy screamed, ‘I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs’.”
Another man tried to get her a cab, but she reportedly thought he was trying to molest her and allegedly butted him in the face.
Okay, somebody needs to fill Amy up with gin and dump her in Afghanistan. Bam! Terrorism solved by way of headbutting. I can hear their cries now: “Run! It is bride of Satan! Her breasts like that of dead camel. For real, my bro. Quickly, go find CIA. Electrocution to the testicles is walk in sand park compared to this. Oh, dear Allah, who would unleash such a beast?!” I really should work at the Pentagon. I’d get shit done.
Deva | April 24, 2008 at 1:08 pm
She’s so hot. My penis hates me right now. First?
jason mcbride | April 24, 2008 at 1:08 pm
i dont wanna be first
ch474 | April 24, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Craptacular
Princess | April 24, 2008 at 1:09 pm
FIRST
Paul Veryze | April 24, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Rode hard and put away wet!
supersoaker | April 24, 2008 at 1:10 pm
I just jizzed. God damn she hot.
mimi | April 24, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Dear Lord help the poor thing!
Praying for AMY!
jumpin_j | April 24, 2008 at 1:14 pm
They don’t call her Winehouse for nothing. Amy W. 1993-2008. I’m not wishing this, but if anyone thinks this ain’t gonna happen should start smoking what ever she’s doing.
Gia | April 24, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I cannot say anything negative about Amy because she has talent but is misguided. I hope Amy makes a full recovery. The only people I can make negative comments about are Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian because they are worthless no talent media whores.
lipper | April 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm
She is SO pretty! We could all learn some make-up tricks by this filly!
… yeah like for Halloween! I wonder how many will dress up as her this year!
mamadough | April 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm
anyone else notice that her hairline in front has about 1/2 inch difference?
Anonymous | April 24, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Next up: A Britney Spears/Amy Winehouse duet album!!
lipper | April 24, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I just realized! It IS Frankenstein and his bride!
Freaky shit.
Facilitypro | April 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm
She always has the most precious facial expressions.
And apparently they’re contagious–she must have a “retard face” aura that affects anyone within 10 yards.
sportsdvl | April 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm
the best thing this moron could do for society would be to choke to death on her own vomit.
#4 – very lame.
Andy | April 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm
THAT’S the guy that was hiding in my closet when I was growing up. I told my mom he was real but she didn’t believe me.
Danielle | April 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm
I’d party with her
Danielle | April 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm
I’d party with her
Uncle Sam | April 24, 2008 at 1:18 pm
British people are so attractive!
sportsdvl | April 24, 2008 at 1:19 pm
Seriously, she is easily the ugliest person on the planet. She has 1 song, that isn’t that great, where does she get money for all these drugs???
It is hard to believe ANYBODY can look this bad! LOL,
mamadough | April 24, 2008 at 1:19 pm
for reals #16, that’s the way to get kids to behave…..”if you don’t knock your shit off, amy winehouse will come to get you in your sleep!”
Auntie Kryst | April 24, 2008 at 1:21 pm
FUCK YEAH!! That’s great crazy, I love this story. I bet Keith Moon and Oliver Reed are smiling down upon her from drunk limey heaven, and John Bonham just threw a TV over the Pearly Gates.
simoncornball | April 24, 2008 at 1:22 pm
“In other news, auditions for the sequel to 2004′s Dawn of The Dead remake continued today in London. Director Zack Snyder said he was especially looking for potential candidates who possessed, as he put it; “weird bodily attributes” or “facial disfigurations”
just saying like.
Amie | April 24, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I just about puked up my salad when I saw this picture
Amie | April 24, 2008 at 1:25 pm
I just about puked up my salad when I saw this picture
mike | April 24, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Aren’t you just dying to see what her pussy smells like? Seriously, aren’t you? But what if it gave you a hardon? That’d be tough to live with, afterwards. Not for Jimbo, mind you, but for otherwise normal guys.
dude | April 24, 2008 at 1:26 pm
okay, my superfishian peeps, I dont’ have a smarmy or witty comment because I’m FUCKING FLABBERGASTED. GEEZ I’ve never seen a woman look this bad, I mean, check out pic #3. For me, it’s all about pic #3. You gotta be kidding me. Holy eye gouging batman.
BeepSneep | April 24, 2008 at 1:27 pm
She’s lookin’ hot! And Solomon Grundy obviously thinks so too!
deacon jones | April 24, 2008 at 1:29 pm
SEE what her pussy SMELLS like? you sure are retarded mike. definately full of retarded tardisms. Super duper retarded, in the most retarded way. Retard.
dude | April 24, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Seriously, does anybody else think she looks like a Collie in Pic#3? It’s the elongated face. A Tranny Collie.
Girl | April 24, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Same-old, same-old. Yeah, Amy looks terrible. Right next to her is Lurch, who looks even worse.
It’s just the typical post with bikini pictures, where the girl’s body is criticized in microscopic detail, while Mr. Harry Beerbelly O’Mantits is standing (jiggling) in the background.
The story here is about her BEHAVIOR.
But – hey look! – shiny pictures…
Dorito Man | April 24, 2008 at 1:34 pm
She will look awful when she’s forty. A one woman freak show.
George Washington | April 24, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Her pics should be in scratch and sniff format.
My bad, you can smell that shit from here….
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | April 24, 2008 at 1:37 pm
#32 – She’s not 40 yet? Mine eyes doth deceive me…..
George Washington | April 24, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Damn, is her escort Mick Jagger?
mike has two scoops of tard | April 24, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Yup. retarded.
Death | April 24, 2008 at 1:44 pm
I hope she dies soon
Delicious Alcohol | April 24, 2008 at 1:46 pm
God Damn! Now that’s my kind of party.
In Awe | April 24, 2008 at 1:47 pm
@21. mamadough – Darkness Falls would be the movie -
Starring Amy Winehouse
FRIST!!! | April 24, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Sounds like a typical Wednesday night to me..
Vince Lombardi | April 24, 2008 at 1:53 pm
MARIE?!?!???
tp | April 24, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Nightmares for the rest of my life
Anexio | April 24, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Alice Cooper looks older and nastier than a man of his age should look.
Out.
Gia | April 24, 2008 at 2:01 pm
#43
lol!
Good one! Makes me want to listen to Alice Cooper.
mrs.t | April 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm
She’s simply breathtaking.
I wonder if I’ve ever been so high that I was crosseyed? No one ever mentioned it….
Disney Fan | April 24, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Picture 7, it looks like Dick Van Dyke & Julie Andrews are reprising their roles in Guy Ritchie’s remake of Mary Poppins The Tweeker. “Chim chimminy chim chimmery, we got spiders crawling under our skin.”
Disney Fan | April 24, 2008 at 2:03 pm
I meant picture 4.
CB | April 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
She’s out partying with Frankenberry. That’s bitchin’, where’s Count Chocula?
Sam_On_Ella | April 24, 2008 at 2:05 pm
There are men that have stuck their penis in that. Brave, brave souls. I salute you.
combustion8 | April 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm
shes currently the ugliest jew in existence.