Amy Winehouse and kids: What could go wrong?

May 19th, 2008 // 78 Comments

Amy Winehouse attended the Celebrity Soccer Six tournament yesterday and was greeted by a throng of young fans. Apparently, their parents didn’t care enough to let them play with matches instead. Anyway, Amy stopped to sign autographs even after a busy day completing the following tasks:

1. Walked around clutching a giant paper bag. Contents: Equal parts crack, dead kittens.

2. Spread tuberculosis.

3. Scratched her boob which, against all odds, remained attached to her chests.

When asked about the tit-scratching, a lead medical researcher at Johns Hopkins offered her analysis, “Either super glue is involved, or my God, the entire field of medicine has virtually changed over night. Wait, is she near kids? Christ, weren’t there any handguns laying around for them to play with?”

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Comments (78)

  1. sexy lexi | May 19, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    shes soooo nasty! 1st? lol jk i dont give a fuck

    Reply
  2. midori | May 19, 2008 at 3:14 pm

    She is sooooo scarry. She is a celebrity? The end times are definitely coming.

    Reply
  3. WTF | May 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    WTF is wrong with that thing?

    Reply
  4. Freggimbo Troll | May 19, 2008 at 3:15 pm

    First to troll J/V/F with an ackward sexual commint that a 13 year old laffs at. Hey, I also got a new bike today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  5. Gene Simmons | May 19, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    I think i just puked in my mouth…what the FUCK is that on her nose??

    Reply
  6. KoolSurveys | May 19, 2008 at 3:18 pm

    Judas priest! Is it Halloween already?

    Reply
  7. J/V/F troll | May 19, 2008 at 3:19 pm

    I’m so humiliated, I’ll leave forever.

    Nah. But nice try #4. And I’m glad to see you’re taking a break from those Engrish lessons.

    Reply
  8. deacon jones | May 19, 2008 at 3:23 pm

    Dude, her fucking skin is rotting

    Reply
  9. Veroonica | May 19, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    I wonder if she could babysit my nephews. I hate my sister, and turning those two little useless fuckers into scab scratching crackheads would be just the revenge I require.

    Reply
  10. deacon jones | May 19, 2008 at 3:27 pm

    like my penis

    Reply
  11. Jimbo | May 19, 2008 at 3:29 pm

    I hold it deacon

    Reply
  12. Auntie Kryst | May 19, 2008 at 3:30 pm

    That poor girl in the front in pic 3.. Looks like Amy wants to take a bit out of her skull. Amy want brains!

    Reply
  13. Kingsley Amis | May 19, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    How long do you reckon it’s been since soap was anywhere near her body?

    Reply
  14. Auntie Kryst | May 19, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    bit = bite, fucking typos.

    Reply
  15. Summer Kat | May 19, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Yikes! Her teeth are so gross…not to mention that huge scab on her nose! HORF!

    Reply
  16. bubba | May 19, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    wowow i don’t understand. is that a human being?

    Reply
  17. sara | May 19, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    Minus the rat hair, retarded tattoos, and over-worn clothing, she looks like she belongs in Auschwitz during WWII…

    Reply
  18. dicksarreyourstoeatfuckers | May 19, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    She reminds me of an anteater. A dead one. Half dissolved by sea salt.

    Reply
  19. Guy | May 19, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    &21,

    I know its scary, a celebrity with actual talent. Indeed, what is the world coming to?

    Reply
  20. Hurly McVomitstein | May 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Take a look at the closeup of the last picture. MmmMmm… that there is one sweet looking gal. I can’t wait to see her on the cover of Maxim’s Top 100 Most Beautiful Women!

    Reply
  21. Rabbi Schiller | May 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Looks like something out of Der Ewige Jude.

    Reply
  22. President Bill Clinton | May 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm

    Please, in the name of everything good, holy and decent, STOP POSTING ARTICLES ABOUT THIS SCUZZY BITCH!!!!

    I’d rather gouge my eyes out with raw carrots than to see the walking nightmare Winehouse.

    PLEASE. STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!

    Just say NO! to Amy Winehouse articles!

    Reply
  23. lipper | May 19, 2008 at 3:49 pm

    Hey kiddies.. lookie what auntie Wino has for you.. hehehehe. Yeah. Peak your head in..hehehe… lean in more…hehehehe.. candy in there.. if you dig deep… hehehehe…

    *Vortex of doom sucks children in and steals their souls forever. You KNOW that’s the deal. Damn you paper sack! You fooled us again Amy!!*

    You’re a sly one, Ms. Wino!

    Reply
  24. Jumpin_J | May 19, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Honestly, Fish, any more Winehouse photos like this and I wind up vomitting a major internal organ, my lawyers are gonna bitch-slap you into the poor house.

    Reply
  25. pete | May 19, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    mmmm….I’m licking all over her face, especially her nose…mmmmm…delicious….

    Reply
  26. True Talent | May 19, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    As if the moon godess herself clothed herself in human flesh – moonbeams at noon and fireflies all over! This woman was sent here for divine reasons. Listen to the voice – like heaven singing! Her voice is God sent. And all you rotten deaf fools cannot hear her love for your own foul thoughts.

    I pray that she is immortal. I love her music. It is important and as the Talmud sayeth – she is a Sage. God speaks to the chosen. The few.

    Reply
  27. poot | May 19, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    i just watched a video of her smoking crack. i wish a mini-black hole would open up beneath her little feet.

    Reply
  28. FRIST!!! | May 19, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    I have been away too long/not long enough….what’s this about tuberculosis?? Was that a Friday post or something?
    Why do my bosses keep making me work? Why can’t they just be happy I showed up??

    Reply
  29. veggi | May 19, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    If she stuck a finger deeeeeep up her ass, I’m not sure if I’d lick it, but I’d definitely want to smell it. And then I’d probably lick it.

    Reply
  30. God Loves Amy | May 19, 2008 at 4:26 pm

    That’s why she sings like an Angel!!!! :)
    Prettiest voice ever!
    Song topic very deep and moving!
    Lovely face and slim figure!
    She loves children! :)

    She makes me happy!

    Reply
  31. kingnoony | May 19, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    jesus, british kids apparently fear nothing….

    Reply
  32. Erica | May 19, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    :’(

    Reply
  33. dan | May 19, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    … but impetigo is highly contagious….

    Reply
  34. licky licky sucky sucky fuck me fuck me. | May 19, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    It would be better if she put that bag over her head..So we wouldn’t have to see her HORRIBLE teeth and monkey face.

    Reply
  35. will | May 19, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    @26-kill yourself.

    Reply
  36. rien | May 19, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    there is definitely the edge of a decaying nipple there in the boob-scratching pic.

    Reply
  37. hot mess | May 19, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    i want to make fun of her, but i just can’t. she looks like she is trying so hard, but she’s just stuck in her addiction. she doesn’t have a chance, and she has (had?) such a great voice.

    Reply
  38. Arska | May 19, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    I’d hit it… with a steel baseball bat.

    Reply
  39. Beans | May 19, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    She should find that broom she flew in on and fly back over the rainbow to Neverland. I’m sure the flying monkeys and her sister, the wicked witch of the east, miss her immensely. AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!

    Reply
  40. UNCLE NED | May 19, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    She’s a magnificent train-wreck and I like her for at least being honest about it. She’s so freaking ugly in so many ways – yet so freaking talented – now I know how Gomez must feel when he blows up his trains.

    Reply
  41. nikkk | May 19, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Is that her nip showing or is her boob scabby too?

    Reply
  42. lisa | May 19, 2008 at 6:28 pm

    I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
    People say it is a member of a celeb club
    *** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
    I came there and met my rich bf.
    It’s a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

    Reply
  43. bitchytits | May 19, 2008 at 7:02 pm

    I’m Amy Winehouse and I’m a rabbit with a bag of babyheads!

    Reply
  44. Pissed Off | May 19, 2008 at 7:31 pm

    #42:

    Go fuck yourself with a dildo made of broken glass.

    Reply
  45. Brett | May 19, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Being in the middle of a drug bender myself, I know for a fact that the nose scabs and the teeth and finger nails are most likely from cocaine and meth/crack usage. I hope she starts taking better care of herself and slows down and hopefully comes full stop. You can’t live like that forever, not even into your thirties.

    Reply
  46. STevec | May 19, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    She looks like she’s actually enjoying herself and that’s good….leave her alone….why do all you blogturds want to criticize her? Take a look at yourselves and see what you have to be proud about or what you have accomplished. At least, she’s a talented musician and what are you?

    Reply
  47. STevec | May 19, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    She looks like she’s actually enjoying herself and that’s good….leave her alone….why do all you blogturds want to criticize her? Take a look at yourselves and see what you have to be proud about or what you have accomplished. At least, she’s a talented musician and what are you?

    Reply
  48. fearsarewishes | May 19, 2008 at 7:59 pm

    She’s incredibly hot, but a little chubby for my tastes.

    Reply
  49. max | May 19, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    @45-please get off the computer and OD. Nobody cares.

    Reply
  50. titsonsnack | May 19, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    ROTFL @ #49

    Reply

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