Amy Winehouse and kids: What could go wrong?

May 19th, 2008 // 78 Comments

Amy Winehouse attended the Celebrity Soccer Six tournament yesterday and was greeted by a throng of young fans. Apparently, their parents didn’t care enough to let them play with matches instead. Anyway, Amy stopped to sign autographs even after a busy day completing the following tasks:

1. Walked around clutching a giant paper bag. Contents: Equal parts crack, dead kittens.

2. Spread tuberculosis.

3. Scratched her boob which, against all odds, remained attached to her chests.

When asked about the tit-scratching, a lead medical researcher at Johns Hopkins offered her analysis, “Either super glue is involved, or my God, the entire field of medicine has virtually changed over night. Wait, is she near kids? Christ, weren’t there any handguns laying around for them to play with?”


  1. sexy lexi

    shes soooo nasty! 1st? lol jk i dont give a fuck

  2. midori

    She is sooooo scarry. She is a celebrity? The end times are definitely coming.

  3. WTF

    WTF is wrong with that thing?

  4. Freggimbo Troll

    First to troll J/V/F with an ackward sexual commint that a 13 year old laffs at. Hey, I also got a new bike today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Gene Simmons

    I think i just puked in my mouth…what the FUCK is that on her nose??

  6. Judas priest! Is it Halloween already?

  7. J/V/F troll

    I’m so humiliated, I’ll leave forever.

    Nah. But nice try #4. And I’m glad to see you’re taking a break from those Engrish lessons.

  8. deacon jones

    Dude, her fucking skin is rotting

  9. Veroonica

    I wonder if she could babysit my nephews. I hate my sister, and turning those two little useless fuckers into scab scratching crackheads would be just the revenge I require.

  10. deacon jones

    like my penis

  11. I hold it deacon

  12. Auntie Kryst

    That poor girl in the front in pic 3.. Looks like Amy wants to take a bit out of her skull. Amy want brains!

  13. Kingsley Amis

    How long do you reckon it’s been since soap was anywhere near her body?

  14. Auntie Kryst

    bit = bite, fucking typos.

  15. Summer Kat

    Yikes! Her teeth are so gross…not to mention that huge scab on her nose! HORF!

  16. bubba

    wowow i don’t understand. is that a human being?

  17. sara

    Minus the rat hair, retarded tattoos, and over-worn clothing, she looks like she belongs in Auschwitz during WWII…

  18. dicksarreyourstoeatfuckers

    She reminds me of an anteater. A dead one. Half dissolved by sea salt.

  19. Guy

    &21,

    I know its scary, a celebrity with actual talent. Indeed, what is the world coming to?

  20. Take a look at the closeup of the last picture. MmmMmm… that there is one sweet looking gal. I can’t wait to see her on the cover of Maxim’s Top 100 Most Beautiful Women!

  21. Rabbi Schiller

    Looks like something out of Der Ewige Jude.

  22. President Bill Clinton

    Please, in the name of everything good, holy and decent, STOP POSTING ARTICLES ABOUT THIS SCUZZY BITCH!!!!

    I’d rather gouge my eyes out with raw carrots than to see the walking nightmare Winehouse.

    PLEASE. STOP THE INSANITY!!!!!

    Just say NO! to Amy Winehouse articles!

  23. lipper

    Hey kiddies.. lookie what auntie Wino has for you.. hehehehe. Yeah. Peak your head in..hehehe… lean in more…hehehehe.. candy in there.. if you dig deep… hehehehe…

    *Vortex of doom sucks children in and steals their souls forever. You KNOW that’s the deal. Damn you paper sack! You fooled us again Amy!!*

    You’re a sly one, Ms. Wino!

  24. Jumpin_J

    Honestly, Fish, any more Winehouse photos like this and I wind up vomitting a major internal organ, my lawyers are gonna bitch-slap you into the poor house.

  25. pete

    mmmm….I’m licking all over her face, especially her nose…mmmmm…delicious….

  26. True Talent

    As if the moon godess herself clothed herself in human flesh – moonbeams at noon and fireflies all over! This woman was sent here for divine reasons. Listen to the voice – like heaven singing! Her voice is God sent. And all you rotten deaf fools cannot hear her love for your own foul thoughts.

    I pray that she is immortal. I love her music. It is important and as the Talmud sayeth – she is a Sage. God speaks to the chosen. The few.

  27. poot

    i just watched a video of her smoking crack. i wish a mini-black hole would open up beneath her little feet.

  28. I have been away too long/not long enough….what’s this about tuberculosis?? Was that a Friday post or something?
    Why do my bosses keep making me work? Why can’t they just be happy I showed up??

  29. veggi

    If she stuck a finger deeeeeep up her ass, I’m not sure if I’d lick it, but I’d definitely want to smell it. And then I’d probably lick it.

  30. God Loves Amy

    That’s why she sings like an Angel!!!! :)
    Prettiest voice ever!
    Song topic very deep and moving!
    Lovely face and slim figure!
    She loves children! :)

    She makes me happy!

  31. kingnoony

    jesus, british kids apparently fear nothing….

  32. Erica

    :’(

  33. dan

    … but impetigo is highly contagious….

  34. licky licky sucky sucky fuck me fuck me.

    It would be better if she put that bag over her head..So we wouldn’t have to see her HORRIBLE teeth and monkey face.

  35. will

    @26-kill yourself.

  36. rien

    there is definitely the edge of a decaying nipple there in the boob-scratching pic.

  37. hot mess

    i want to make fun of her, but i just can’t. she looks like she is trying so hard, but she’s just stuck in her addiction. she doesn’t have a chance, and she has (had?) such a great voice.

  38. Arska

    I’d hit it… with a steel baseball bat.

  39. Beans

    She should find that broom she flew in on and fly back over the rainbow to Neverland. I’m sure the flying monkeys and her sister, the wicked witch of the east, miss her immensely. AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO!!

  40. UNCLE NED

    She’s a magnificent train-wreck and I like her for at least being honest about it. She’s so freaking ugly in so many ways – yet so freaking talented – now I know how Gomez must feel when he blows up his trains.

  41. nikkk

    Is that her nip showing or is her boob scabby too?

  42. lisa

    I always tried to ask all things about about this person.
    People say it is a member of a celeb club
    *** c e l e b m i n g l e . c o m ***
    I came there and met my rich bf.
    It’s a place to meet the rich/celebrity.

  43. bitchytits

    I’m Amy Winehouse and I’m a rabbit with a bag of babyheads!

  44. Pissed Off

    #42:

    Go fuck yourself with a dildo made of broken glass.

  45. Brett

    Being in the middle of a drug bender myself, I know for a fact that the nose scabs and the teeth and finger nails are most likely from cocaine and meth/crack usage. I hope she starts taking better care of herself and slows down and hopefully comes full stop. You can’t live like that forever, not even into your thirties.

  46. STevec

    She looks like she’s actually enjoying herself and that’s good….leave her alone….why do all you blogturds want to criticize her? Take a look at yourselves and see what you have to be proud about or what you have accomplished. At least, she’s a talented musician and what are you?

  47. STevec

    She looks like she’s actually enjoying herself and that’s good….leave her alone….why do all you blogturds want to criticize her? Take a look at yourselves and see what you have to be proud about or what you have accomplished. At least, she’s a talented musician and what are you?

  48. fearsarewishes

    She’s incredibly hot, but a little chubby for my tastes.

  49. max

    @45-please get off the computer and OD. Nobody cares.

  50. titsonsnack

    ROTFL @ #49

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