Amy Winehouse Drank Herself To Death? That Can’t Be Right

For those of you just joining the “boring Internet” after wrapping up your daily porn calisthenics – Pretend I’m the only who does that at work and I’ll shoot you in the thorax. – Amy Winehouse’s cause of death has been officially determined as over-consumption of alcohol. Five times the legal limit to be exact, so there goes the whole “alcohol withdrawal” theory her family was batting around after a coin toss between that and Lou Gehrig’s disease. Via HuffPo Celebrity:

Pathologist Suhail Baithun told the inquest into the singer’s death that Winehouse had consumed a “very large quantity of alcohol” – the level in her blood put her more than five times over the legal drunk-driving limit.
Police Detective Inspector Les Newman, who was called after a security guard found Winehouse, said empty vodka bottles were scattered around her bedroom.
Winehouse’s doctor, Dr. Christina Romete, said the singer had resumed drinking in the days before her death after a period of abstinence.

So of all the horrible shit Amy Winehouse shoved into her body, vodka is what killed her? Plain, boring vodka. Excuse me for a minute. *picks up phone* Hello, Stoli headquarters? How quickly can I get you inside Lindsay Lohan’s liver? — That’s right, the whole building.

Photos: Getty