Jessa Duggar Will Save You From Cousin Amy’s Devil Tits

I didn’t want to write about the Duggars twice today, but that’s a lie, so here’s a story that proves they’re basically a nightmare version of the Kardashians that never stops multiplying. Via Raw Story:

Fans blasted the Duggars for posting 100 photos of daughter Jessa’s wedding but not a single one of the cousin whose ceremony they attended over the weekend.
The family posted a link Tuesday to the photos, which were taken last year, on their official Facebook page after they all — with the exception of sex scandal-plagued eldest son Josh Duggar — attended the wedding of Amy Duggar to Dillon King.
“We all had such a wonderful time at Amy’s wedding,” the family posted. “All of this excitement has caused Jessa to pull out her pictures from her wedding and post 100 of them on her website. Check out her album here which includes many never before seen pictures.”
Fans and critics quickly filled the family’s Facebook page with criticism.
“Whether it was innocent ‘excitement’ or a grab for attention, this was just quite rude and makes you and Jessa come across as even more self-absorbed than the public already (unfortunately) perceives you to be,” posted May Abel on the family’s Facebook page.

And while hijacking their cousin’s wedding to promote the brand doesn’t seem very meek or humble, the Duggars were merely trying to save everyone from the tops of Cousin Amy’s tits. HIDE THE CHILDREN!

Amy Duggar Cleavage Wedding

In the Duggars’ defense, the last time someone in their family saw a female breast not covered in gingham, he molested everybody in their sleep then fucked them all into the poorhouse. So it makes sense if they’re a little jumpy around Cousin Amy who actually wears a bikini instead of a full basketball uniform yet somehow hasn’t burst into flame. God only knows how Jim Bob and Michelle are spinning that one.

“Well, you see, kids. Cousin Amy, she, uh… gosh, how do I put this?”
“I’ll take it from here, Michelle. Kids, Cousin Amy is demon-possessed. And when you’re demon-possessed, it’s like you have superpowers that make you invincible- no, wait.”
“Whoa! I want to be demon-possessed!”
“Me too, dad!”
“And me!”
“Jim, this looks like another revolt…”
“Get the guns!”

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