Amber Rose in a bikini

August 31st, 2009 // 98 Comments

A freaky-eyed Amber Rose stopped by TAO Beach in Vegas over the weekend. Apparently the Jon Gosselin pool party wasn’t her cup of tea, but wouldn’t it have been hilarious if she went and he worked his slovenly magic on her? I can almost read Kanye’s blog now:

“WHAT?! WHAT?! I’M KANYE WEST!!!! I’M BASICALLY JESUS SENT BACK TO EARTH TO DESIGN RED LOUIS VUITTON SNEAKERS AND BREAK PEOPLE’S CAMERAS BECAUSE I’M TRYING TO CARRY AROUND MY MACBOOK PRO AND LOOK SUPER IMPORTANT! AND THIS GIRL IS GONNA CHEAT ON ME WITH JON GOSSELIN?!?!??!???! HOW I’M SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT?!!?! WHAT IS A JON GOSSELIN? WHAT’S THIS FOOL GOT THAT I DON’T GOT IN DIAMOND SPADES WITH DIAMONDS ON THE INSIDE?!? AND DIAMOND SAUCE!

UPDATE: I’VE JUST BEEN INFORMED WHO JON GOSSELIN IS! KANYE WEST IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF NOW! THIS WILL BE THE GREATEST SUICIDE KNOWN TO MAN! BUT I NEED TO HUMBLE MYSELF FIRST! SOMEBODY LEAVE THE CRUST ON MY SANDWICH!!!!!! I DON’T DESERVE IT CUT OFF ANYMORE BECAUSE I’M THE HUMBLEST BITCH ALIVE!!”

Photos: WireImage
superficial

  1. name it for christ sake

    i hit that…with a wood Stake. XD

  2. Ohnoshedient

    Someone stab it before it eats the guests.

  3. Bobby Junior

    That one little blonde haired boy looks odd.

  4. fearsarewishes

    @1

    You missed English 101 to post that fucking comment you stupid cunt?

    Why the fuck would you capitalize “stake”?

    JFC

  5. CobraStyle

    Bajesus!

  6. ROUGH before dishonor

    Hotter with mane——————————————————————————————————–

  7. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  8. Thanks for ruining my morning.

  9. DO NOT WANT!!
    DO NOT WANT!!
    DO NOT WANT!!

  10. Awanupinthat

    She looks awesome if you scroll down so her head is out of the frame. Try it, you’ll love it.
    Amber Rose the paper bag princess.

  11. Pilatunes

    No thanks, sideshow freaks were never my thing.

  12. North Pole

    Hey guys I’m taking a poll.
    Do you think she’s vain? She looks self absorbed to me, I can’t tell, I need your input. If you think she’s vain then please leave some comments here.
    Another poll I just thought of. If this person was hit by a truck carrying gasoline burning on fire which then exploded her into a firey ball of hell leaving her dead you think she would be missed? I don’t think she would be missed.

  13. chupacabra

    she looks like a character out of “The Filth” by Grant Morrison:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Filth_(comics)

  14. Aunt Jemima

    PUKE.

  15. tromba

    I feel my raisin bran coming back up.

  16. Island Man

    WTF ? No booty pics ???? Oh c’mon…………U gotz 2 b kiddin me

  17. my eyes are burning lol!

  18. Avatar

    If a guy is into the stereotypical rap getto chick with a big ass, big thighs, and implants then enjoy!

  19. Courageous

    Nice legs, shame about the face! Not to mention the horrible taste in men…

  20. Wow, that’s a deeply disturbing, unhealthy orange glow.

  21. Aunt Jemima

    Kayne West should stop pissing on women. He’s given her pink eye.

  22. Monday Monday

    Wow… did you really have to start the week like this? After those delicious Gerri Halliwell shots, this is like falling into a fry-o-lator. Yikes…

  23. sin

    Damn, what an obvious tranny. Do the test. Its ring ringer is longer than its index finger. Try it. On men the ring finger is longer. On women it is either equal in lenght or a little longer. That is a tranny. Kanye West fucks trannies.

  24. Soul Sistah

    She almost as hot as Coco. Get some!

  25. ®usty

    ick! the doody tattoo running down her leg kills it for me…also her being fugly doesn’t help either.

  26. cd

    doesn’t it look like she has a bit of a lazy eye?

  27. Anonymity+Audience

    How long was she on chemo? Her tattoos are horrendous. She has very poor decision making skills.

  28. Nation Wide

    Those colored contacts make everyone look creepy. I have blue eyes and tried some demos on, which by the way have the word “Demo” stamped on them, really cheesy, and you couldn’t even tell I had them on. I tried six different colors including the new radiant, which I was told would make my eyes sparkle. Finally, I just couldn’t believe that they didn’t work, so I looked at some YouTube videos of people with dark eyes wearing them, and they too didn’t see any noticeable change.

    Oh, I just got it, she must be wearing those Halloween opaque lenses, well that explains why they work on her, but she still looks creepy like a psycho killer.

  29. name it for christ sake

    # 4 -

    Stake is capitalized for EMPHISIS, you rudimentary twit. All of us that write on blogs use creative license when we write, so you’re fired!

  30. Mike

    Kanye wouldn’t kill himself. He’d call it Assassinating himself. Much cooler.

  31. fearsarewishes

    @30

    …and “EMPHISIS” is misspelled because you are a stupid cunt.

    Morons like you wear me out.

  32. gotmilk?

    29, thanks for your life story. no one cares.

  33. kariella

    #10 – You are sooooo right! Everyone try it.

  34. michael jackson

    what the F&%K is that thing?!?

  35. I'm Obama and I approve...

    Kanye West hates white people…

  36. I'm Obama and I approve...

    Kanye West hates white people…

  37. It looks like someone flash fried Mystique from the X-men movies.

    Seriously, I know I look bad in swimwear, so I have the good sense to cover my shit up.

  38. joe blow

    She’s skankalicious.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, after seeing that nasty bitch, I must go wash my eyes with battery acid.

  39. n

    lookin’ very oompah loompah. *barf*

  40. n

    lookin’ very oompah loompah. *barf*

  41. christ

    Kanye West hates white people, and fucks trannys.

    You heard it here first.

  42. sin

    # 42. I already proved she is a tranny. See # 24.

  43. ritzy

    She/he/it is a man and a fugly one

  44. wtf

    i like how she wears blue contacts and blond dyed hair, shes obvioulsy trying to hide her blackness, what a aunt-tom!

  45. Me

    I’d fuck her down into her component elements.

  46. Bert

    Nasty , nasty, nasty

  47. Larry King

    I don’t ever remember seeing a mormon; not once, not ever.

  48. hateyoufornoreason

    Gross, dirty street hooker.

  49. lola

    She would be such a pretty girl if she would throw away the contacts and grow her hair out. She doesn’t need long hair, just a couple of inches so it’s not a buzz-cut.

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