To make up for the one-two punch of Rosie’s camel-toe and Kate Gosselin, here’s Amber Heard in FHM. I know nothing short of a bunker full of porn and Everclear will help in this situation, but right now it’s occupied, so you’re stuck with Amber here. On that note, if I don’t update my Facebook page in a couple hours, send someone in after me who should be prepared to make my corpse look like I died punching a ninja. (Note: Not a reference toward my penis despite both possessing similar skill sets.)
Photos: FHM
anon | October 28, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Her teeth are pretty messed up.
claaa | October 28, 2009 at 5:29 pm
frist
claaa | October 28, 2009 at 5:30 pm
frist
havoc | October 28, 2009 at 5:32 pm
Ladies, take note.
The clothing in photo #4 will get you laid in record time…..
.
cc | December 6, 2010 at 11:28 am
Definitely an inspired choice.
casualencounters.com/blog | October 28, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Hi I’m 12 years old and who is this.
Oliver Chester The Molester Lester | October 28, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I heard dat!
NASA Employee | October 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm
I’m no longer able to access this Website at work. Fight the power!
WTF | October 28, 2009 at 6:05 pm
Another brain dead twat that thinks getting the Gettysburg Address tattooed on her side is just sooooooo cool. Spare me Fatima but my sister is hotter than you.
Word | October 28, 2009 at 6:08 pm
4. havoc – October 28, 2009 5:32 PM
Ladies, take note.
_____________________
No ladies visit this site. Only 10-16 year old boys.
That was horrifying | October 28, 2009 at 6:13 pm
My eyes will never be the same after that camel toe rosie picture. I will require pain meds to sleep at night.
Georgeo | October 28, 2009 at 6:20 pm
She should take off those pads before putting a football jersey over them.
OH WAIT SHE’S JUST FAT.
Mr.Mr. | October 28, 2009 at 6:31 pm
i honestly have no idea what movies shes been in. but shes okay to look at
Fat Chicks Suck | October 28, 2009 at 6:41 pm
She looks really damn good now that she slimmed down a bit. She was getting slightly chubby (although still hot) but appears to have lost the weight and looks super hot.
Lazarus "Bubba" Tubbs | October 28, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Amber Heard…??? Amber heard what? What the fuck do I care what Amber heard? Amber and I don’t have any secrets from one another.
Harry | October 28, 2009 at 7:40 pm
World’s hottest Ayn Rand fan.
WHYYYYY FISH!?!? | October 28, 2009 at 7:58 pm
*WHYYYYYYYY* would you tell me about Rosie’s cameltoe, Fish? Why? Is it because you hate me? Is it because you knew I’d be unable to stop the almost reflexive page-down action? Is it because my screams of horror and torment will soothe you to sleep tonight, you twisted madman?
A loyal fan.
The People Have Spoken | October 28, 2009 at 8:09 pm
This wonky eyed chick…
loves her stockings.
loves to arch her back.
loves the wall – but is being coy it him.
loves football jerseys and posing in awkward positions.
loves to hold her tits.
…and her hips.
is in love with her shadow.
…and her FHM cover.
is scared of the light.
loves to play dominatrix.
and most of all still loves those awkward back bending positions with a football jersey on…
Yawn…yaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn. Wow that was a good yawn.
So is anything here less boring to read about?
JustJess | October 28, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Right on #9…
God I’m so sick of looking at all the fat asses on this site.
I need more Grace Park and her 70lbs self…stat!
Meh | October 28, 2009 at 9:30 pm
That slack-jawed, glazed-over, dead-eyed facial expression is a real erection killer. Why do twats like this think it’s hot to look like a dumb corpse?
Izzy of Kentucky | October 28, 2009 at 9:37 pm
CAMERON DIAZ LOOKS HOT IN THESE PIC’S! TOO BAD JUSTIN TIMERBLAKE DUMPED HER. ISN’T HE BACK WITH BRITNEY ALREADY? I WISHED THEM TWO WOULD GET BACK TOGETWITHER.
China mobile Phone | October 28, 2009 at 10:42 pm
frist
spicycy | October 28, 2009 at 10:54 pm
i have definitely become immune to these posts. different girl, same positions same corsets and panties….. yawn, yawn yawwnnnnnnnnnn. men are SUCH suckers. like dogs, they trust their instincts–that is the instincts of their peen. they see this and start jizzing uncontrollably. its the same shit that was in last months issue, and maxims and so on and so forth. yawn.
cant wait for the next post of so and so in maxim or FHM doing the same bending backward pose in mens underwear.
magnesium | October 28, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Beautiful picture and she is looking very sexy, cant wait for her new horror films…
clpierced | October 28, 2009 at 11:13 pm
she is pretty :) i like her dark eye makeup, but something is odd about her eyes..hmm. buttt, i hate high waist panties. wtf? do guys actually find this hot? i like my thongs too much :) and who is she?
Timmyswagger | October 29, 2009 at 12:07 am
Amber Heard is the hottest women FHM has ever had… maybe even more if I saw her at The Blastoff Network
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Rough intentions | October 29, 2009 at 8:17 am
Never heard of Amber, and all I know is the asians have superior horror movies….
ek | October 29, 2009 at 8:38 am
If you think she’s fat, you need to go look at the Rosie’s sweaty camel toe again. Rosie is fat. This girl is not fat. No adult should be 70 lb. unless they’re 4’5″. She looks a little like Lindsey Lohan before LL started snorting her lunch.
JustJess | October 29, 2009 at 9:15 am
It’s called sarcasm #28
U new here?
ek | October 29, 2009 at 11:30 am
Nope. It’s just Kanye caps don’t read well as sarcasm.
JustJess | October 29, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Wow #30 – since I know retards have trouble with sarcasm – I’ll make it easier for you. I’ll put it in quotation marks just for you.
“#30 – you really have so much to contribute to TS – glad you’re here – because we all really DO give a flying fuck what you think! – Thanks, ek! – Thanks for being so concerned about letting us all know how wrong it is to be 5’10″ and be 70 lbs., like Ms. Park. Thanks – you really taught me something there. Wow – true genius at #28. I mean who snorts their lunch – not anyone I know – haha!”
See…that above was…oh, never mind.
ek | October 29, 2009 at 6:42 pm
#31 Fail.
Kellie Richardson | October 30, 2009 at 1:51 am
I have to say that she is not that hot, but good try.
DAISY?? | October 31, 2009 at 12:29 am
FAKE!!!!
This is a complete photoshop job. You can tell it’s a fake because the shadows are all wrong.
This is exactly like that scene in the movie Never Back Down where Baja was getting her picture taken by an albino Robin Williams and he bought Max an action figure to win him over.
acer coupon | March 9, 2010 at 5:15 am
We shot the red carpet for The Joneses at TIFF and it’s amazing how different Amber looked there…like she was heading to Sunday school
micro sd | May 28, 2010 at 3:17 am
I certainly have become immune to these terms. Different girl, same situation as corsets and panties ….. Yawn, yawn yawwnnnnnnnnnn. Men are such suckers. Like dogs, they trust their instincts – that is they tend to peen. They begin to see and jizzing uncontrollably. In the past month points of their own shit, and maxims, and so on and so forth. Yawn.
cc | December 6, 2010 at 11:30 am
Speaking on behalf of heterosexual makes everywhere, I hate when this happens. There aren’t enough fish in the sea as it is. Don’t go over to the other team, please!