Here’s Amber Heard at the premiere of Nicolas Cage Owes an Ass-Load of Back Taxes Drive Angry 3D where she demonstrated something I’ve been thinking for years but never had the guts to say out loud because lesbians have large biceps. And before I go any further, let me just say that I’m a huge supporter of LBGT rights and denounce bigotry in all its forms, so with that intro you know what’s coming next is extremely offensive and has absolutely no place in rational discourse: There should be a law preventing attractive woman from not being straight. I know, I know, it sounds horrible on paper, but just think about it for a minute: We’d really only be forcing them to ignore their every biological urge and have sex with men they don’t want to, so in the end, there’s a quiet romance to it.
UPDATE: To whoever’s whipping softballs and pit bulls at my house, knock it off.
Photos: Getty
you wouldn’t have the chance to hit that even if it was straight so I say we compromise by letting her dyke it up on video.
The Informers: awesome movie and she gets nice and naked too.
…Mandy Lane is shit movie though.
‘she gets nice and naked too’
What? And you are only telling me this now?
She doesn’t need to be straight, just branch out occasionally. I happen to have the perfect branch in hand…
agreed. id take a bi amber. meanwhile, sex tape please… that is, as long as the other chick doesn’t look like a russian shotputter
Russian shotputter or even worse… Rosie O’Donnell.
Gross, her ‘gf’ is a slightly more handsome Sam Ronson. No thanks.
If she is a lesbian, give me an hour with her and I bet I can make her switch teams. ; – )
“Switch teams” is now a euphemism for vomiting? How strange… Just kidding, give it your best shot.
With what? Your tiny cock?
My tiny cock? Wow I didn’t see that coming. That was so orginal. Put a little more thought into it next time.
You must work a mean strap-on!
I don’t want her to switch team, Just switch hit for a couple of inings
You can change someone’s entire genetic being in one hour!?!? Then I need to see you because mental illness runs in my family…
being gay is not genetic, it’s a social disorder that suddenly became a special interest group when liberals realised they could gain politically for endorsing gay’s sick behavior and disease spreading. Just like they support NAMBLA, pretty soon you libs will think that behavior is gentic and therefor justifiable. twits…
For my next experiment, I was thinking about trying asexuality. Something tells me an hour with you would do the trick. It’s go time!
Hey Right Hand? What is your left hand doing while you are spewing this crap? Rubbing one out while watching some gay porn??
How cute, you are telling me to be original when your previous message was anything but… Here is something you may not know, lesbians are born lesbians.Your microscopic penis and what sexual talent you claim to posses is not going to make some lesbian say “OMG ALL I NEEDED WAS THE RIGHT PENIS”. It’s clear some woman mistakenly gave you a confidence boost while you were humping her leg. Newsflash darling… She was faking it. Bragging on the internet about your alleged sexual prowess being good enough to make a gay girl go straight isn’t going to make you any less of a loser.
Way to perpetuate a stereotype, humorless lesbian.
Don’t you mean one minute? That’s how long straight sex lasts.
While we’re at it, Nicolas Cage needs to quit making movies, Lindsay Lohan needs to go to jail, and Obama needs to give Charlie Sheen the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
Obama should appoint Charlie Sheen White House Chief of Staff. I guarantee the staff would get a lot more interesting. Also a little sticky, probably.
wow love me sum dat azz!
♫ We built this website on rough and jokes♫
That was the original draft, those bastards changed it when they heard I was born…Snubbed
Come to my favorite website? Snubbed
Will I get an invite to the royal wedding? I most likely will get?????
How many times was this run through Google translator?
Story of my life really…
Fuck you fish, she’s ours!!!!!!
hah, real lesbians wear wire glasses, birkenstocks, and lumberjack shirts. this one’s just goin thru a phase ;)
Wow, I’ve got glasses and a lumberjack shirt, all I need is some Birkenstocks and I can be a lesbian? COOL! Quick trip downtown, then I’ll grab some lunch at the Y.
Now you know how the straight females feel about all the perfectly gorgeous men who are gay.
It’s a bummer, but you deal with it.
I think your proposal is a good example of “excessive government”.
“have sex with men they don’t want to”
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.
Sorry you can’t claim her as one of the hot woman who pretend to like sex with men.
My ass. There is no way in hell that she is gay. I do not believe it. Sure, she might like carpet munching, who doesn’t, but gay? No way in hell.
Not a lesbian.
Frist? Please?
Yes it’s true. Sexy people, men and women, can be gay. What rock have people been living under? And trust, Amber Heard is not the only sexy lesbian in Hollywood. She’s just one of the few with enough guts to own up to it.
Wow!!! What a revelation!!! Tell us more, O wise one!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! next she’ll be telling us All American girl Jody Foster is gay.
I think most guys actually have a better chance with lesbians than regular celebrities. I admit, I’m not quite sure what a lesbian is, but every time Lindsay Lohan says she’s one, she fucks this really ugly dude.
There should be a law preventing attractive woman from not being straight?
Screw that! There should be a law preventing ugly chicks from being lesbians. It totally screws up the spankability of the whole concept when the chicks going at it are overweight, with crew cuts and dressed in flannel.
Good Lord, that “Give me five minutes with a lesbian, I’ll turn her straight” mentality gets so exhausting. No, you can’t turn a lesbian straight any more than you can stop being a premature ejaculate. So start thinking of baseball and stop trying to disappoint the few women desperate and lonely enough to sleep with you.
Ha, I’m just kidding. Guys who say “lemme turn her straight” are virgins. Or rapists.
It’s chic to be gay. Oh wait, thats gay chic, gay chic. Sorry.
Love is in the air.
THATS WHAT LINSAY LOHAN SHOULD BE LINKING! I MEAN WHATS THE PURPOSE OF BEING GAY IN HOLLYWOOD IF YOUR PUSSY WILL BE IN SAMANTHA RONSON FACE!!! THAT’S JUST DISGUSTING :P
Any interviews I have seen her do she seems to have serious daddy issues
I am unemployed and lazy , hook up with me that will drive your daddy crazy
Tell us how you REALLY feel.
I thought she was bisexual?! At least that what they said in Top Gear if I remember correctly. Bisexuals are the best – you will always have hope that they agree to 3some…
And you wonder why women are lesbians?
You have problems. i do too. But nothing like this.
Look dumbass, the word is Lesbianity – it’s one of those sham religions like Scientology.
Lesbiantry stems from the root word “gentry”, which means she is a well-born, well-bred lesbian of high social class. Which is a bit of a stretch, since she co-starred in a B movie with Nicolas Cage.
Who would you rather in your male fantasy: Amber Heard or Ellen Degeneres (or Rosie O’Donnell or Martina Navratilova)? Judge’s ruling: lesbianism approved!!
to add to your distraught I might be lesbian too :P that or bi
I am sure if Amber ever felt my penis sliding smoothly between her cheeks and deep into her tight bottom she would give up all the lesbian stuff cause you can’t be a lesbian and have anal sex all the time.
Still the hottest lesbian out there.
The hottest WOMAN out there.
She is only a lesbian for attention.
Was this supposed to be funny? Lamest shit ever. Go back to clown school. Oh, and to most of the other commenters – you really shouldn’t jerk off while at a work computer. It’s bad form.
Somewhere in the Bible it talks about what a waste it would be to light a candle then hide it under a bowl. Same applies to that gorgeous mouth not having a cock in it. Makes the angels cry.
Sounds to me like there’s still a chance for Fish to turn her 100% gay. She told Details magazine “I’m open to whoever. I think it is absurd to assume that I have to look in a certain category. … It’s silly to look in one category or another. I would never imagine a mate based on a certain sex or race.”
Yeah, she’s dating a chick right now, but so were Anne Heche and LiLo before the mighty cock drew them back. That and her Nic Cage movie was finished shooting and about to open just before she “came out.” Sounds like at least a 50% chance of attention lesbian.
“Yeah, she’s dating a chick right now, but so were Anne Heche and LiLo before the mighty cock drew them back.”
Erm, they never claimed to be lesbians, they’re bi. Mighty cock? Don’t make me laugh, most guys can’t even make a woman come regularly. I’m so glad I’m a lesbian and don’t have to fake orgasms HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
We have to ask that guy who banged her in at least three scenes of “The Informers” to find out if she was really into it.
LOL! It was fake, moron. Learn the difference between acting and real life.
Have no fear guys. There is always hope. Maybe Amber will fall and hit her head and forget she’s gay. XD
No, she needs to find a gorgeous bruntte lover and then leak a sex tape.
Amber Heard is hot, but not EVEN a lesbian.
Another needed actress with daddy issues I don’t care if she is gay, she’ll want a man when lesbian bed death kicks in i would guess but if she’s geniune then good luck to her. I would bet a lot of money that she ends up with a man in the end. Bringing up babies in same sexed senarios is wrong not fair on the child even if she had a boy and he wanted to feed on her teets until he was eighteen.
I think they should torch half of hollywood they seem to try to spread this aganda far too much. It’ll will never work queer is queer and nature is nature.
Is English your native language? Nothing wrong if it isn’t. I’m pro immigration. You just sound like an idiot or someone who can’t get any. Either way.
Same nose as Rosie Huntington-Whitely.