Amber Heard & Johnny Depp Settlement Is Close, So Freaking Close

Hey, so remember that whole Johnny Depp and Amber Heard thing where he allegedly got loaded all the time and beat the shit out of her, so she filed for divorce and understandably requested a chunk of his money because of said beatings except no one believed her and called her a lying whore despite a cavalcade of evidence because one time your ex read your text messages or some stupid shit? Well, good news, they’re now even closer to a settlement because neither one of them wants to sit for a court deposition. TMZ reports:

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard both want to end their war and settle everything connected with their relationship, so their lawyers are requesting the courtroom battle set for Friday be postponed.
Sources connected with the couple say Amber and Johnny will now discuss a mutual agreement in which both agree to stay clear of each other. In addition, we’re told they will settle all matters involving their divorce, including property settlement and spousal support.

Cool, so Amber gets paid to shut up, and Johnny gets to walk around without more stories warning women that he’s an abusive sonofabitch — “allegedly.” What an incredible win for these two assholes while everyone else can suck a dick. Yay, life!

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