Amber Heard and Elon Musk Are Billion Dollar Banging Again

The love story that is Elon Musk and Amber Heard is one of true enchantment. Instead of the cliché “boy meets girl” scenario, it was more of a “billionaire sees girl in the movies, decides he wants girl, let’s girl know that he has enough money to build her her own personal colony on Mars where she can rule as viceroy, girl leaves a drunken pile of scarves for billionaire and lives an on-again-off-again happily ever after” deal. It’s a fairy tale Asimov himself would have been proud of. TMZ spotted them kissing at lunch so I guess they’re officially back together… or at least still drunkenly smashing on occasion.

I’m sure Amber Heard’s upgrade from Johnny Depp to Elon Musk has nothing to do with money… kidding, it has everything to do with money. She’s only going to be playing Mera in the DC movies for another decade or so before they reboot the franchise with some gal who is still in diapers right now, so that lines up perfectly with about the timeline of the impending global apocalypse. Score those brownie points now, Amber. Anyone who wants to call you a gold-digger now can suck the fumes of your rocket as you escape this scorched planet in a first-class cabin with a bottle of champagne.

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