“We’re you lookin’ at my bum? Cheeky monkey…”
Sony just released the “official” trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man (after the jump) starring Andrew Garfield which they’re touting as the untold story of Spider-man even though it’s basically the same exact story about a kid getting bit by a radioactive spider only this time through a 3D kaleidoscope of gay porn and track shoes. Which, fun fact, is how Stan Lee always intended to tell Peter Parker’s tale except the 60s weren’t quite ready for it yet because everyone was insane from syphilis and having sex with minorities. It was a strange time. Anyway, I’m actually making an effort not to get excited about this one because it looks way better than the Sam Raimi versions and actually features a Spider-man that doesn’t look like a doughy Power Ranger with an emotionless face you want to repeatedly punch until the demons go away. Although, keep in mind this is coming from a man who if you asked him to draw what a vagina looks like, he’d hand you something that roughly resembles a cartoon octopus with an eye patch.
Photos: Splash News
boy’s must watch this trailer & put meanwhile a bananana in eachother’s ANUS.
Another F-ing Englishman playing our American super heroes.
What does Hollywood have against straight, white, American men??
Fish, explain!!
There aren’t any straight, white american men in Hollywood. Duh.
In Hollywood, it’s not who you know; it’s who you blow.
Well, there’s an F-ing american playing Sherlock Holmes so…I guess we’re even
I’m just waiting for them to make a Spiderman movie that doesn’t make me long for the days of that godawful 70′s Spiderman with Nicholas Hammond. I never would have thought that 30 years later no one would have topped that crapfest.
I know it’s more practical for a human spider to shoot webs out of his wrists, but in the interest of authenticity, shouldn’t he be webbing his way around town from strands of webs shooting out of his ass?
Wait, that is gay.
Oh my god I love this! Are you kidding me? Andrew Garfiled is a God! I’m in love with Spider Man now.
Easy there, Timmy. Don’t go spraying sticky webs all over the place. Aunt May isn’t around to clean up.
Lizard remains a boring villain that looks like the Goombas from the Super Mario Bros. movie.
At least it’s not the damn Green Goblin.
OsCorp badge in the film. Don’t exhale yet.
Yeah — cartoon octopus with an eye patch!
“And here Spidey is wearing a fabulous lyrca armor ensemble. This catsuit spins a web of style that will catch many glances from men and women alike. You go, girl!”
No joke…this looks pimp.
The “untold” part as far as I know is because they’re including the parents story (who’ve never really been covered in previous movies and I believe were retconed into the comics.)
That and we have Gwen instead of MJ as our starting leading lady.
This actually looks better than I thought it would. And Fish, you’ve been cracking me up today.
“we’re”? that doesn’t make sense in that sentence in british or american english
Feels like I’m wearin’ nothin’ at all! nothin’ at all! nothin’ at all!
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