Amanda Bynes Is A Master of Stealth

May 31st, 2013 // 16 Comments
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“They can’t find us in the air, Benjamin Franklin. To the zeppelin!”

Apparently after her arrest and court hearing, Amanda Bynes bolted to Buffalo because trampolines. TMZ reports:

“Amanda had to sign a waiver,” Sky Zone owner Rhonda See tells TMZ. “She has the same DOB and same tattoos … she checked in using her middle name and same last name. She did not use ‘Amanda.’”
Witnesses say Amanda was disheveled, frantic and distracted when she arrived around 7:15PM, asking guests to delete pictures and bumbling around during the tutorial.
“She wasn’t really listening,” fellow patron Christopher Zukas tells TMZ. “She kept leaving the group to go set stuff down and would come back. During the jumping she wasn’t able to follow the rules and was even knocked over by a fitness instructor teaching a class.”
Other witnesses say she calmed down after 20 minutes and happily bounced for about an hour — seemed to be having fun — then left in a waiting car.

Of course, if you were on the Internet at all yesterday, you probably know all about the trampolines and possibly that Amanda claims this is an impostor hired by Perez Hilton. Fortunately, she’s developed a foolproof plan to get the paparazzi off her scent: Telling people in Buffalo they’re not in buffalo. TMZ again:

The footage was shot by a self-described “fan” who tells us he noticed Bynes wandering around aimlessly … sporting huge sunglasses and a brown wig … and decided to strike up a conversation with her.
The woman never denies that she’s Amanda Bynes — but when asked why she’s in Buffalo, she repeatedly tells the photog, “We’re not in Buffalo.”

If it’s NOT Bynes in the video … it certainly would be a helluva coincidence — ’cause the lady in Buffalo doesn’t just bear a striking resemblance to Amanda, she also has the same tattoo on her arm.

Look, I got into this yesterday, but if Amanda Bynes really is working on an epic troll, she’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that Joaquin Phoenix let a man shit on his face. That’s where the bar is. So either get your Hot Carl on, or knock it off and go see a therapist before the people listening in your shoes find you. They hear everything, Amanda. Everything…

Yup, I helped here.

Photos: Courtesy of TMZ


  1. Captain Kickass

    Despite all the crazy, you can’t dispute the fact that she has some huge funbags now.

  2. Cock Dr

    I think Amanda misunderstood when she overheard some guys saying that all she needed to set her head back on straight was a good hard bouncing.

  3. Bo(i)ng, bo(i)ng, bo(i)ng …

  4. Joining the Juggies. Not a bad career move.

  5. Everybody is missing the truth: Amanda Bynes is a Jedi.

    Didn’t she use the Jedi Mind Trick? “We are not in Buffalo.”

    On another topic: it sure doesn’t take much to make men happy. A busty young woman bouncing on a trampoline and you’re set for the weekend.

    • duder

      In other words, water is wet. Hmm, wet t-shirt contest…yes… Sorry, we were talking about boobs and trampolines?

  6. Sheppy

    She does look like she’s having fun :)

  7. Hot girl with big tits on a trampoline trumps everything else. It don’t matter how crazy she is, just watch them bounce. The people there should be ashamed they didn’t get video of those bouncing beauties.

  8. anonymous

    Just a thought but maybe no one told her she was in Buffalo. If she’s not driving it’s possible she didn’t know where she was.

    Bouncing around for an hour by herself isn’t helping look less pathetic.

  9. stevebrt

    The Elders tell of a young ball much like you. He bounced three metres in the air. Then he bounced 1.8 metres in the air. Then he bounced four metres in the air. Do I make myself clear

  10. Her boobs look spectacular. Yum.

  11. I’m in Buffalo for the weekend actually, here’s hoping I run into her somehow

  12. Boing

    How does she jump on a trampoline without losing her wig?

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