Amanda Bynes’ Parents: ‘Fuck It, We’re Moving To Texas’

With a conservatorship over her finances secured by a judge, Amanda Bynes’ parents’ plan was to slowly give her small amounts of money in hopes that she’d eventually hit rock-bottom and get the help she obviously needs. Except waiting games eat bushels of dick, so they’re punting the whole thing over to a mental health professional and bailing to Texas. Which is probably for the best, so I don’t know why I said all that stuff about eating dicks. Then again, I haven’t had breakfast yet. TMZ reports:

Sources familiar with the case tell TMZ … Amanda will now be under the thumb of a mental health professional who specializes in handling people with severe mental illnesses. Her parents will ask the judge to transfer conservatorship powers to that person.
We’re also told the parents have made arrangements to transfer power over financial matters to another person … presumably a money manager.

On a related note, and I can’t believe I’m writing this, but a source for Perez Hilton actually called this hours before it happened and claims that the real reason Amanda Bynes’ parents are moving to Texas is because she started making death threats. Which is usually something you don’t fuck around with when the person making them has a history of lighting propane tanks on fire by using her dog as the wick. Also it would explain these tweets:

So, yeah, this is literally the best case scenario. Let Amanda Bynes threaten a mental health professional because she doesn’t have enough money for wigs, and then watch as she’s immediately locked up. Or given a granola bar. I keep forgetting this is California.

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