So Amanda Bynes Is Probably Going To Murder Lindsay Lohan

October 3rd, 2012 // 38 Comments
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Ever since she turned her car into a wheeled crack pipe of death, Amanda Bynes has found herself consistently compared to Lindsay Lohan which apparently was the last thing needed to flip every crazy switch in her body, according to Us Magazine:

“She obsessively hates Lindsay,” says the Bynes pal. “She rambles about ‘that bitch Lindsay’ all the time.”

Keep in mind, Amanda Bynes fled to New York last week where Lindsay also happens to be, so it’s literally only a matter of time until her firecrotch pelt dangles from Amanda’s belt. That or they’ll attempt to occupy the same space only to merge into a being of pure coke and handjobs. “Blowtug,” it’ll affectionately be called.

Photo: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Craptard

    Fish, I don’t like the negative tone of your story – what are you trying to do, discourage her from killing the Blohan?

    Amanda – I have the perfect alibi set up for you – after you’ve murdered Blohan, come to my place, I’ll chain you to the radiator in my basement, then when the cops show up and ask if you’ve murdered anybody lately, we both laugh hysterically and I tell them ‘How could she have murdered anybody, she’s been chained to that radiator for weeks now?’ Now, go do some murderin’, you crazy kid!

  2. yup yup

    I feel the same way Bynesy!

  3. mike

    How can you put a positive spin on a story with LiLo and Bynes centered in the story, unless some one sent them to Afghanistan

  4. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s funny…first time I saw this post the Lindsay/Amanda Bynes combo was called “Powderyank”, now I see it’s been edited to “Blowtug.” Which I have to admit is a much funnier name, so kudos.

  5. Confusus

    Remember Paris vs. Lindsay?

    Or Hilary Duff vs. Lindsay?

    Let’s not jinx this one.

  6. alex

    I would pay a nice chunk of change to see the two of them box in their underwear.

  7. El Jefe

    There is only one way to solve this, bikini oil wrestling.

  8. Emma Watson's Vagina

    hmm with all that coke and massive handjob action.tht would be fun to see them in a smackdown event.

  9. tlmck

    She should go directly to porn. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

  10. zomgbie

    celebutard dome!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2 celebutards enter
    0 celebutards leave.

    • cc

      Please let this degenerate into either a fistfight or a luxury car demolition derby or, God wiling, both.

  11. Can we arrange it where these two are put in cars and left to wreck it out in a demolition derby on the FOX network? I’d definitely watch that channel then! Finally something worth seeing.

  12. Charlie S.

    “Blowtug” FTW! #winning

  13. dude

    i liked “powderyank”. I’ve been walking around all day muttering it mindlessly, mantra like. However, “Blowtug” rules too.

  14. EricLr

    I would strongly advise Lindsay to go to the nearest car-proof bunker.

  15. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure is sounds like a good idea for Amanda to kill Lindsay, but think about it. Who would we make fun of if Lindsay died? Also Amanda would be in jail or worse dead and that would severely lower my chances of seeing her naked before I die. It’s been a lifelong dream.

    • Craptard

      1. make fun of Bynes instead.
      2. dress in drag, get a job as a prison matron wherever they lock Bynes up.
      see how easy that was?

  16. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    So she’s on permanent knob sucking position now?

  17. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    ProActiv, you’ve found you’re new spokesperson right there!

  18. Beer Baron

    Murder Suicide. Make my day please.

  19. zomgbie

    lol @ mandys car up on cinder blocks and the wheels gone.
    i wonder who.

  20. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa – where is she??

    Amazing Camo, girl!

  21. Burt

    Paranoid and obsessive? Smoking pot only compounds the problem.

  22. What an idiot

    Amanda Bynes is a 9,000 times hotter piece of ass than blowhan will EVER be. Blowhan’s droopy side titty muffintop photo was the ultimate bonerkiller…

  23. Michael

    Can this girl get help soon? I had a crush on her, and thought she was better than Lindsay Lohan. Now she’s falling apart. It’s really sad if you think about it.

  24. I have a feeling there is still hope for Ms. Bynes. She’s been in a few scrapes fairly recently, but so far it’s only been misdemeanor stuff. I think she is salvageable.

    Lohan, on the other hand, is dead meat. Every problem she causes is progressively more serious than the one before.

    That being said, before she bunks down for a permanent dirt nap, I’d love to see Lindsay slap the living shit out of her mother and give her father a swift kick in the nuts!

  25. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Arzach
    Commented on this photo:

    That wreck looks hot

  26. FastFoodLocal151

    I’d pay good money for ringside seats at that particular murder-suicide (or more likely murder-epic cop chase gunned down in custody escape attempt). Either way is worth the cash and a bag of popcorn.

  27. josh

    i got a idea for amanda she could use her method acting skills on my cock.Just pretend its lindsey lohan and squeeze it with her pussy lips.pretending it

  28. Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal

    Why not just kill two birds with one stone? Offer Lindsay a ride, and then pulling a “Thelma and Louise”?

    Seriously, they’re both irritating.

  29. Gary Grant

    Amanda will probably seek Lindsey out to show her how to hit and run properly.

  30. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    KatieG
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s doing a great job of covering that face.

  31. Amanda Bynes Hiding Face With Purse NYC
    Laura
    Commented on this photo:

    Off topic, but does anyone who what brand her bra is??

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