Amanda Bynes In Court Is Exactly As You Ridiculous As You Think It Is

May 24th, 2013 // 99 Comments
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Here’s Amanda Bynes in court this morning where on top of looking like a Muppet prostitute in the blonde wig I’ll just assume she clawed her lawyer to let her keep on, she also spoke and tried to plead her own case by saying the bong she threw out of her apartment window wasn’t really a bong, but just a vase, so that makes everything all better. TMZ reports:

Amanda told the judge the bong cops say she threw out of her apartment window last night was “just a vase.”
Prosecutors requested Bynes be held in lieu of $1,000 bail. The judge instead chose to let her go without bail … but gave her a stern warning that if she missed her court date in July an arrest warrant would be issued.

“Oh, so it was just a vase you dropped out of a 36th floor window onto a busy New York street. You’re free to go, Cousin Itt.” Which is exactly what happened because Amanda Bynes is already out without bail and just has to show up to court again in July. As for how the hell she passed a psych eval, either she isn’t crazy and is just a horrible, horrible bitch, or there’s a psychiatrist somewhere who really wants to see a suicide this weekend.

“Just look at that awful rain. What should we do, honey?”
“Oh, I have plans. Plans to die for. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

(I don’t know why I write this stuff either.)

Photos: Wagner Az/AKM-GSI, Splash News


  1. Veronika Larsson

    Seeing Amanda in such a disheveled and confused state makes me sad, really. It’s clear she’s mentally ill and suffering what is generically known as a “nervous breakdown”.

    I feel sorry for her and hope this arrest is not the first of many, but rather the wake-up call for her family to get Amanda the help she desperately needs.

    Sorry if I don’t have a snarky comment to make about the situation. It’s just not in me.

    • irinac

      shes not mentally ill – shes a drug addict. the media never portrays how harmful weed is but ive seen it destroy people
      keep smoking up everyone

      • I’ve seen it involved, at least peripherally, in the destruction of lives, but I’m not sure how much that is the weed or the decision to follow the remnants of Phish around….which could have something to do with weed too.

      • Beer for though

        Oh gimme a fucking break, I would LOVE to try some of that shit!

      • Mama Pinkus

        she is a mentally ill drug addict

      • There is no way that her behavior is due to weed alone. Did you believe Reefer Madness when you watched it?
        I was a pothead for years and hung out with many other potheads, and the worst thing that happens is a person gets really lazy and gains weight. Chronic bronchitis, short term memory loss, and lack of motivation are other common side effects. When a person stops after years of heavy use, usually all that happens is they realize how many years of their life was wasted and that their career hasn’t progressed at all.

      • The Enlightened One

        Why is it always, “blame the weed”? Oh I know, because you are all uninformed, choose to be ignorant and believe whatever propaganda is shoved down your throats. First off there are many different strains of weed that will induce different behaviors on you. An “Indica” plant has the effects of relaxation, which is why it is often better for nighttime use. A “Sativa” obviously will do the opposite, make you feel energetic, upbeat and maybe more motivated to do things you wouldn’t have had the energy to do before. So to just say “weed” makes you lazy is very out dated and inaccurate. And if it is so bad as you all claim why is it used to combat 100′s of diseases that plague many inhabitants of the earth? Also to your claim that many weed smokers “gain weight” that’s actually completely false, research has been done and shows that marijuana use is actually linked to lower blood sugar in smokers than non smokers, lower insulin resistance, which happens to be a precursor to diabetes, and generally have smaller waists. THC has even been used in mice to reduce cancerous tumors!! do any of you know what this means? Choose to be ignorant as long as you want, but sooner or later some of you should ask why something that is completely harmless and has so many different benefits to the human race keeps being shunned and demonized. In the information age none of us have an excuse anymore as to why we just “don’t know.” And to answer my own question the bottom line in this country is always the almighty dollar.

      • Hissy fit. *Eyeroll* I thought stoners were supposed to be mellow?

      • weed has never destroyed anyone. misinterpretation of the facts had killed millions. pretending a dumbass bitch isn’t a dumbass bitch has ruined the lives of more than a few dumbass bitches who never got the help/slap they needed.

    • Dee Snider

      She needs to make her own decision to turn this around. She has to find a way to say:

      Oh we’re not gonna take it
      No, we ain’t gonna take it
      Oh we’re not gonna take it anymore

    • I have a snarky comment: maybe she’s just an asshole?

      • grob, your comment isn’t snarky at all, in fact it’s probably a statement that is correct more often than are all the “diagnoses” of all the self-centred, dysfunctional pampered dipshits in history.

    • It has all the signs and symptoms of schizophrenia.

  2. Fnord

    Shades of Phil Spector here. If only every Friday was like this.

  3. Low hanging fruit. She might actually be legitimately insane.

  4. cc

    Hmph, she looks a bit like a younger, frizzier, fucked up Charo.

  5. Yet another shining example of a long winded and punctuation starved article, with an equally awkward title ….who is your editor…Amanda Bynes?

  6. Okay, this picture just made me laugh out loud. Damn. I know the situation is sad (I guess), but that picture is amazing.

  7. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Amanda may look like a hot steaming mess, but that cop is absolutely DREAMY.

  8. Is this judge stupid ? Just send her back out on the street, no fine, not nothing ? This girl is totally gone in the head and the judge thinks she just needs a good sleep ?

  9. Weeblo

    Over under on the number of handjobs the lawyer gets to defent her?

  10. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a vase . . . does this somehow explain why Lindsay Lohan threw an entire living room set out the window when the cops knocked on her door?

  11. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Britney.

  12. Beginning to think she is the ultimate troll now.

  13. Let’s hope that this is the beginning of a long, slow slide into insanity and utter ruin for Amanda. That would be much better entertainment than anything currently on TV.

    • What about “I murdered my BFF”? That’s a real show, right? or did I dream that?

    • Trek Girl

      Better than all of the real-crime shows like Notorious, 48 Hours Mystery, and Cold Case Files? Better than Deadliest Catch and Brain Games ? Better than PBS and MHz Worldview’s awesome programs which include some of the best documentaries and international mystery series the world has to offer? I think not.

      I killed my BFF is a real show, McFeely. It’s actually pretty good.

  14. Buddy The Elf

    Amanda told the judge the bong cops say she threw out of her apartment window last night was “just a vase.”

    Someone has been watching Grandma’s Boy.
    What’s up, Mr. Cheezle!

  15. Hugh Jass

    Love the Addams Family reference, but the hairy character was named Cousin Itt, not Cousin It.

  16. PunkA

    Nice wig.

    • Buddy The Elf

      It’s her REAL HAIR you lying, ugly bastard!

      • Her hair was hacked. she would never wear that ugly wig. TMZ photoshopped that wig onto her picture. She wasn’t even in court today. She can prove it because she has a pedicure.

      • Heh, her hair was hacked all right – hacked off. Well, shaved off actually, sometime last month. She supposedly got extensions right afterwards, which is pretty impossible when you’ve shaved your head. This is obviously one more in the series of disaster wigs from the Phil Spector Courtroom Collection.

  17. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    If I didnt know she was arrested, I’d think she was giving the cop a walking blowjob

  18. KNeel

    Your title doesn’t make any sense.

  19. eh

    Wow, they entered her apartment to arrest her for possession of weed? And then Fish is upset they are letting her out and not keeping her imprisoned. I guess this is what the term liberal fascist refers to.

  20. Cock Dr

    Apparently Ms Bynes failed to meet the criteria needed for a temporary detention order. Psychiatric treatment bed spaces are hard to come by and there are a lot of seriously mentally ill people already parked in them.
    Not an imminent threat to herself or others….in other words, not crazy ENOUGH.
    For those people enjoying watching her public mental unravelling, stay tuned, the show will go on.

    • Not crazy enough to be institutionalized, but maybe, possibly, crazy enough I have a shot at banging her? Looks like somebody’s in my mental illness ‘sweet spot’!

      • Cock Dr

        Go 2 NY and bring quantities of high octane weed if you want any kind of a shot in the Bynes lottery.
        *looks at photos*
        Although why any man would want to mess around with such a head case is inexplicable to me.
        Don’t go to her apartment…probably full of bedbugs.

  21. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Homegirl is looking ratchet as fuck

  22. Sir Douche

    This whole episode has produced one of the greatest side by sides ever:

  23. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy mother of God.

  24. genna

    this is just so sad. I wish they had kept her at the hospital, I’m not sure how she got through the psych evaluation.

    • Dr. JFever

      Many mental illnesses, and addictions have periods when they can seem totally rational. To really catch those problems often requires multiple visits and evaluations. That is why addicts, drunks and the mentally ill can have jobs, families and seem normal to most of society. Think BTK killer & Dahmer, or a large percentage of politicians.

      • genna

        yeah, that is true. she did seem very lucid in court if you take away her appearance. I guess it would not be fair to keep her if she seemed to understand her circumstances. still can’t help but think she needs to be on medication.

  25. anonymous

    They need to let her and Lindsay Lohan go at each other gladiator style. The only one standing gets the free legal pass and Hollywood comeback.

    • I will need to do a comparison of their breasts so I know for whom to cheer. Amanda already has the edge based on cuteness. And while we’re at it, let’s discuss Pay-Per-View revenue…

  26. anti fork anti spork

    Pretty sure they can test smashed pieces of that “vase” to find out it in fact had pot residue on it.. that is unless shes going to assert her vase was clean but the ground it self happened to be covered in pot residue.

  27. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    They let her go? She needs help! WTF?

    • dennis

      It’s not a given that she needs any type of help.

      Sometimes a rich, stupid, narcissistic bitch is just that–a rich stupid narcissistic bitch.

  28. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    “How does your client plead?”
    “Ms. Bynes pleads *sigh* ‘beautiful and sane.’”

  29. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is my crazy on straight?”

  30. For someone who claims to be so image obsessed, she takes shit care of her appearance.

  31. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Ashely Schaeffer might miss Black Biker Week in Myrtle this year if this keeps up.

  32. alex

    Wow, I’ve never looked at all of the photo’s before (when its 20+ shots)! Awesome fun. And why is she wearing that wig?

  33. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    10 bucks says there’s a shaved head under that wig. hahahaha!

    • Dr. JFever

      You owe everyone here a 10 spot. Mug shot shows she has very short hair, but not shaved.

      • It’s been growing out from when she shaved it back in April.

      • Dr. JFever

        Thank you J! I did not know she had it shaved. Was this a Vin Diesel razor type shave or Bertney / Demi Moore “GI Jane” animal clipper type shave? Don’t remember seeing pics of it.

      • Heh, she probably used a blunt pair of nail scissors and a Bowie knife. There weren’t any pix, but when she was photo’ed parading around with incredibly fake looking “extensions” underneath trucker’s hat she said she’d shaved it because a hairdresser wrecked her hair. Since you can’t attach extensions to a bald head, that had to be a wig, or else she just sewed the extensions to the hat. Which, btw, would be fairly sane for her.

  34. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Smells Jahoney
    Commented on this photo:

    What causes that look? Is it meth?

  35. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Excuse me Your Honor, but Miss Bynes is late for her nightly gig playing guitar in the Muppet Show band…can we speed this up?

  36. her mugshot with the short hair just proves that miley cyrus is that other person pretending to be amanda.

  37. Billy Ray

    Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, yada, yada, yada…. (yawn)

  38. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Barbie needs her hair back. That’s an awful wig. Doesn’t she know any drag queens? Shit.

  39. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Does her wig have a wig?

  40. Tom Cruise's Magical Penis

    She’s making a Phil Spector-cle of herself.

  41. Hfire3

    Wow…..guess I have been out of the loop. What the hell happened to her?

  42. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Jan OLeary
    Commented on this photo:

    Seven days.

  43. Robb7

    Parents need to get conservatorship over this lost child. Worked for Britney who was a bag of hammers once upon a time. Also, don’t dismiss the weed. The shit that’s available now is 3X the drug compared to the stuff we smoked decades ago. Plus she weighs maybe 102 lbs. and you know she’s eating crap and not sleeping — a perfect storm!

    • Britney got better by cutting her ties with her mother and bringing her father back into the picture. Her father has cared for her and helped her get better (although she’s still Britney!).

      I’m not so sure that either of Amanda’s parents can help her. They may well be part of the problem.

  44. right

    Loved the hollow stern warning the judge gave her. The rich and famous make a fuckin joke, of the so called justice system.

  45. Doobie

    She threw a bong out the window. No worries. The streets of New York are littered with bongs. Just pick another one up in the morning.

  46. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    some black guy
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs mental help and the family that probably lived so well off of her nickelodeon money in the 90′s is nowhere to be found now that she needs them. poor girl

  47. I’m sorry, but I will not be “Asking Ashley.”

  48. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    doing it for attention, publicity

  49. Amanda Bynes Wig Court
    Commented on this photo:

    bad wig.

  50. Nice superfluous “you”. Do you have a superfluous mammary as well?

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