Amanda Bynes Hit-And-Run Case Re-Opened Because She’s Goddamn Death On Wheels

August 27th, 2012 // 75 Comments
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Amanda Bynes Hit And Run
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If you’ve driven in Los Angeles since April, chances are Amanda Bynes has crashed into you at least once while texting, leaving a bar and/or thinking clothes are transparent. On top of that, she’s constantly photographed driving around a smashed in BMW while looking like she wouldn’t know what year it is if you stapled a calendar to her duck lips, so naturally, the DA’s office decided to re-open her hit-and-run case out of concern for public safety and not at all because this’ll be a slam dunk to prosecute. “And here she is trying to start a tree for 15 minutes. Do I really have to keep doing this?” TMZ reports:

As TMZ first reported, Bynes allegedly rear-ended a BMW, and fled the scene while driving a rental on the 101 Freeway. The L.A. City Attorney’s Office rejected the case because there was no independent witness to finger Amanda as the suspect.
Law enforcement sources tell us that all changed when Bynes was accused, yet again, of hit-and-run on August 4.
We’re told prosecutors have decided to re-open the April incident — which means Amanda could end up with 2 misdemeanor hit-and-runs … with each carrying a max sentence of 6 months.

Here’s the amazing part, Amanda Bynes somehow showed signs of self-awareness by getting pissed off that people keep comparing her to Lindsay Lohan, so a simple solution to that would be to actually go to jail and not get away with being a horse-powered murder machine. It’ll be real easy. Just drive yourself to court like you would any other place and eventually during the hearing somebody will go, “Hey, why’s the parking lot’s full of dead people?”



  1. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those big day-glo fake talons skeeve me out.

    • Indeed. And one of them appears to be either broken in half. Or is piercing her cup. Or is prehensile and curving in upon itself.

      Probably broken.

    • Dammit. I was going to mention the talons. There’s really no other word, is there? Claws are smaller, and those things look like they are designed for underground cage fights.

  2. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    This bumper…the last thing you will ever see.

  3. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    That spa she went to might want to check up on its inventory of bath salts.

  4. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    TMZ has some photos of the inside of her car…it’s a fucking pig stye. Absolutely filthy with coffee splatters on the dash, weed shake in the cup holders, ashes, etc. I haven’t seen a car that disgusting since my ex wife’s.

  5. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    So she’s a pothead? That explains everything. How a perfectly normal girl, just starts doing all of this shit. She’s tripping balls. Some people go fucking crazy on drugs. Some people remain relatively normal. It’s obvious which side she falls on.

  6. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    People, she has a medical prescription for marijuana! Its to prevent her from suffering discomfort due to withdrawal from marijuana.

  7. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not adverse to people having the odd hit from a bong. But I think its fucking stupid and selfish to think you can control 1 or 2 ton metal box on wheels while stoned.

    She seems intent on following the George Micheal driving course and getting an A+.

    Fucking sad really, if this is a cry for help then there are better ways of asking for it.
    If it’s fuck you, then what a douche.

  8. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    “Get me Obama! Bitch stole my crazy!” – Lindsey Lohan

  9. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    Girlfriend needs to can it with that busted BMW. I’m sure the carfax is terrible on it but it’s time to trade in. The bumper is already busted, and she’s trying to get into fender benders to get on TMZ, she’s gonna make those airbags deploy.

  10. Kumi

    Good post. I enjoyed it. I get the entrie train him now mentality because men seem to become very dependent. I’m the type who turns to stewing angrily in silence for months before saying anything. But once I told my fiance how I was feeling he definitely made some changes and contributes a lot more now. Communication is SO important. I’m trying to be much better about it!Ash @ Good Taste Healthy Me recently posted..

  11. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t they involuntary commit her to a mental health facility? This really is sad…

  12. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously? Who the fuck talks to themselves and makes up a language when they’re high off weed? She looks like a fucking crackhead so clearly this is more than that. A bad case of meth or bath salts would be my guess!

    • Nubcake

      People who are bipolar and in a manic episode have those symptoms from weed consumption. I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going on here. Poor girl needs some serious help :(

  13. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    I can´t focus on anything but the nails…
    Bright pink,one is broken,and she´s also painted part of her little finger…who did her nails? A toddler? Even the shape is awful.

    What happened to her? o.0 She used to be cute,now she looks like she´s trying to morph into octmom.

  14. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF have they done to weed since the last time I smoked it? I just got really thirsty, and hungry and then became totally convinced the cops were coming to my house….RIGHT THEN! but I did it all in English, not some fucked up imaginary language. Curb the crazy, and eat some pizza rolls like the rest of us, Amanda. Shit.

  15. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    is the front of the car smashed in?

  16. Amanda Bynes Busted Up BMW
    Commented on this photo:

    Amanda is AWWWWWWWWWESOME….!!!!! It’s a shame that she is going through tough times like we all do and have….but, hang in there lady and you will survive and be stronger from it all…!!! Sure wish I could meet you in person….?

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