Amanda Bynes Hit-And-Run Case Re-Opened Because She’s Goddamn Death On Wheels

The Superficial | August 27, 2012 - 12:08 pm

If you’ve driven in Los Angeles since April, chances are Amanda Bynes has crashed into you at least once while texting, leaving a bar and/or thinking clothes are transparent. On top of that, she’s constantly photographed driving around a smashed in BMW while looking like she wouldn’t know what year it is if you stapled a calendar to her duck lips, so naturally, the DA’s office decided to re-open her hit-and-run case out of concern for public safety and not at all because this’ll be a slam dunk to prosecute. “And here she is trying to start a tree for 15 minutes. Do I really have to keep doing this?” TMZ reports:

As TMZ first reported, Bynes allegedly rear-ended a BMW, and fled the scene while driving a rental on the 101 Freeway. The L.A. City Attorney’s Office rejected the case because there was no independent witness to finger Amanda as the suspect.
Law enforcement sources tell us that all changed when Bynes was accused, yet again, of hit-and-run on August 4.
We’re told prosecutors have decided to re-open the April incident — which means Amanda could end up with 2 misdemeanor hit-and-runs … with each carrying a max sentence of 6 months.

Here’s the amazing part, Amanda Bynes somehow showed signs of self-awareness by getting pissed off that people keep comparing her to Lindsay Lohan, so a simple solution to that would be to actually go to jail and not get away with being a horse-powered murder machine. It’ll be real easy. Just drive yourself to court like you would any other place and eventually during the hearing somebody will go, “Hey, why’s the parking lot’s full of dead people?”