If you’ve driven in Los Angeles since April, chances are Amanda Bynes has crashed into you at least once while texting, leaving a bar and/or thinking clothes are transparent. On top of that, she’s constantly photographed driving around a smashed in BMW while looking like she wouldn’t know what year it is if you stapled a calendar to her duck lips, so naturally, the DA’s office decided to re-open her hit-and-run case out of concern for public safety and not at all because this’ll be a slam dunk to prosecute. “And here she is trying to start a tree for 15 minutes. Do I really have to keep doing this?” TMZ reports:
As TMZ first reported, Bynes allegedly rear-ended a BMW, and fled the scene while driving a rental on the 101 Freeway. The L.A. City Attorney’s Office rejected the case because there was no independent witness to finger Amanda as the suspect.
Law enforcement sources tell us that all changed when Bynes was accused, yet again, of hit-and-run on August 4.
We’re told prosecutors have decided to re-open the April incident — which means Amanda could end up with 2 misdemeanor hit-and-runs … with each carrying a max sentence of 6 months.
Here’s the amazing part, Amanda Bynes somehow showed signs of self-awareness by getting pissed off that people keep comparing her to Lindsay Lohan, so a simple solution to that would be to actually go to jail and not get away with being a horse-powered murder machine. It’ll be real easy. Just drive yourself to court like you would any other place and eventually during the hearing somebody will go, “Hey, why’s the parking lot’s full of dead people?”
Photos: IXOLA/AKM-GSI
I’m still trying to figure out when did Amanda get those sweater puppies.
Maybe when she went into “retirement”?
If they sentence her to house arrest, she can stay at my house. I have a stocked liquor cabinet and a salad bowl full of horse tranquilizers. I’ll just need to stock up on more horse tranquilizers for her.
I’ll finger Amanda blas der pusbect.
Drinking and then trying to drive is also not a great idea.
There should be a way to settle all this with some sort of figure 8 track, Lindsay Lohan, and vehicles packed with explosives.
That car has been bashed up forever. There are only two reasons that someone doesn’t get their car fixed. Either they can’t afford it, or they just don’t give a damn. With this chick, it could easily be either one.
Or she enjoys the smell of drying blood on the hood of her car.
Nic Cage should go to her for financial advice because she’s driving a brand new $70K 740i and hasn’t worked since 2010 while he makes 6 films a year and is still living on Top Romen.
what’s with those stupid fucking nails?
The fact that she has this much trouble driving in L.A. makes me think there should be a reality show in which she drives a delivery van in Manhattan.
nice Teen Wolf nails.
Ok I’m convinced. This isn’t Amanda Bynes. This is her stand in, her look alike. She killed Amanda and stolen her identity, her life.
what a stupid girl.
I don’t even think this looks like Amanda. Where are the chipmonk cheeks??
Maybe she had those removed and inserted into her chest?
When she’s out at a club and sees and guy and says “I’d hit it” her girlfriends dive for cover.
What’s more fun than one crack nail? FOUR crack nails.
her middle talon is broken
Why does she always look like she high off her ass these days? This is a damn shame. She’s reay talented. What a waste.
i need to titty-fuck her. that should clear this mess up.
I feel the pain of the guy in whose penis that middle nail is now lodged.
Alright, time to go rack up a few more H&Rs! My agent says it keeps me in the news…
Fake tits – check
Fake lips – check
Fake blonde – check
Fake tan – check
Nonexistent career – check
Drugged out delusional ramblings – check
Hit & runs – check, check and check (and check)
Relationship with Samantha Ronson – pending….
She’s almost made it you guys!
Yeah but the new Lindsay Lohan can’t pull out her floppy natural tits to trump the trouble she gets into the same way the old one can.
No wonder! She can barely see above the wheel…Quick, someone get Amanda a phonebook!
Those glasses hide the fact that her eye sockets are empty. She clawed them out after watching an episode of What I Like About You.
Yaaawn, let’s go run someone over….
I’ll say it again, I propose that every one of her victims be allowed to perform a hit and run on her…in the ass. And by victims I’m included anyone who’s had to watch her “act”
If Amanda is even confused as to how to get into a car, no wonder actually driving is such a challenge.
The drinks are a reward system. Take a sip of yellow if she hits a car, a sip of red if she escapes without giving her insurance details.
the reason they can’t take her license away is because she doesn’t actually have one.
Los Angeles commuters breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday as Amanda Bynes decided to walk for a bit.
Walking around looking a the sky, Amanda Bynes was attempting to initiate a pedestrain hit & run.
Even Amanda Bynes is surprised to hear that she’s still around
Amanda Bynes figured that if she got in enough car crashes she’d get Michael Bay’s attention. Explosions Amanda, you need explosions!
“They told me if I keep looking I’ll find the sky around here somewhere…”
I checked out Amanda’s bio looking for Asian origins. Surprisingly, nothing came up.
“I’m not stopping until Playboy offers me one million dollars!”
Come on guys, it’s obvious Amanda is just practicing for that Grace Kelly biopic Lifetime is producing.
I thought they’d already cast the chick with the anal tattoo?
Wait, what do you mean my car doesn’t have onboard Siri?
When is ESPN going to wise up and cash in on the enormous earning potential of a Bynes vs. Lohan derby?
Amanda Bynes dated Frankie Muniz. Frankie Muniz does car racing now. Chicks always think they can do everything better than bros. If this doesn’t explain everything, I don’t know what does.
haha. fuck bothering to fix that dent.
she doesn’t need to open the hood anyway.
just crash that shit into a tree one more time and be done with it.
you’d have to be the world’s worst driver to crash a brand new car like that.
What happened to this chick, had a huge crush on her and now she’s Lindsey Lohan
Her nails are freakishly disgusting.
Ok, so the latter part of the 90′s was all about see through clothing; the beginning of the 00′s was every female celebrity doing a crotch shot. Then came the “someone stole my sex tape” evolution. Now we can expect every out of work actress to get more work by crashing into to anything in Hollywood to stay famous. What ever happened to just doing made for cable soft porn D movies such as, Shannon Tweed, Joan Severance, etc. They kept their dignity and they were paid to get the occasional nude scene. This young wanna be stars have no dignity, a couple hits of “E” , some shots, a car wreck and look Ma Im famous again!
“Here’s your drinks Miss Bynes and thank you for not killing us”
“must give these glasses back to Ray Charles, can’t see a thing through them”
“oh lord why must I kill and destroy? I must know”
Bimmer. Now mow the fucking lawn.
How long did she stand there, allowing the photographer to take pictures of her? In one shot, he glass is full, in the other it’s empty. Looks like Lindsay Lohan and the Kardashians aren’t the only ones selling pictures of themselves to tabloids.
now she even looks like Lindsey!I wonder what’s next….
What the mother of fuck is up with those nails?
I don’t get it. Why don’t rich movies stars just take cabs everywhere?
This is definitely not Amanda Bynes..