Dear LA Drivers, Amanda Bynes Will Hit-And-Run All Of You Shortly. Thank You For Your Patience.

The Superficial / May 29, 2012

Let’s take a look at what Amanda Bynes has amazingly been able to accomplish in the few weeks since her DUI arrest if accomplish means being goddamn terror on wheels while the police presumably piss themselves in fear because, seriously, getting hit by a car fucking hurts:

- Stumbled right out of a club in front of cameras and video, started texting behind the wheel of her car which surprisingly ended with her backing right up onto the curb.
– Stumbled out of another bar, got behind the wheel and proceeded to block all of Roberston Blvd trying to do a 3-point turn.
– Pulled a hit-and-run.

Which brings us to a new report from TMZ where you’ll never believe she hit another car only to flee the scene and be tracked down because apparently license plates work as some form of identification. Who knew?

Amanda Bynes slammed into a car on the 101 Freeway in the San Fernando Valley on April 10 … then fled the scene — according to the victim who told cops the troubled actress was the culprit.
The culprit was driving a 5 series BMW at the time of the accident. The victim gave chase, got off the freeway, but the culprit blew a red light, never to be seen again. The victim was able to write down the license plate number. She only got a profile view of the woman driving the BMW.
CHP showed up, ran the plate and determined it was a rental vehicle. Officers told the victim the culprit was driving an Enterprise rental car. The victim then contacted Enterprise, who told her the person who had rented the car was Amanda Bynes.
The victim then showed up at a CHP substation and ID’d Amanda from a photo lineup. And get this … the photo of Amanda was taken just 4 days earlier — it was her mug shot from a DUI arrest.

Of course, Amanda is still somehow allowed behind the wheel, but whatever you do, don’t suggest that makes her The New Lindsay Lohan. One of them clearly dabbles in hitting babies while the other prefers to work in crashing into every fucking person on the road and fleeing as fast as possible. Don’t denigrate their art.