Dear LA Drivers, Amanda Bynes Will Hit-And-Run All Of You Shortly. Thank You For Your Patience.

May 29th, 2012 // 55 Comments
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Let’s take a look at what Amanda Bynes has amazingly been able to accomplish in the few weeks since her DUI arrest if accomplish means being goddamn terror on wheels while the police presumably piss themselves in fear because, seriously, getting hit by a car fucking hurts:

- Stumbled right out of a club in front of cameras and video, started texting behind the wheel of her car which surprisingly ended with her backing right up onto the curb.
- Stumbled out of another bar, got behind the wheel and proceeded to block all of Roberston Blvd trying to do a 3-point turn.
- Pulled a hit-and-run.

Which brings us to a new report from TMZ where you’ll never believe she hit another car only to flee the scene and be tracked down because apparently license plates work as some form of identification. Who knew?

Amanda Bynes slammed into a car on the 101 Freeway in the San Fernando Valley on April 10 … then fled the scene — according to the victim who told cops the troubled actress was the culprit.
The culprit was driving a 5 series BMW at the time of the accident. The victim gave chase, got off the freeway, but the culprit blew a red light, never to be seen again. The victim was able to write down the license plate number. She only got a profile view of the woman driving the BMW.
CHP showed up, ran the plate and determined it was a rental vehicle. Officers told the victim the culprit was driving an Enterprise rental car. The victim then contacted Enterprise, who told her the person who had rented the car was Amanda Bynes.
The victim then showed up at a CHP substation and ID’d Amanda from a photo lineup. And get this … the photo of Amanda was taken just 4 days earlier — it was her mug shot from a DUI arrest.

Of course, Amanda is still somehow allowed behind the wheel, but whatever you do, don’t suggest that makes her The New Lindsay Lohan. One of them clearly dabbles in hitting babies while the other prefers to work in crashing into every fucking person on the road and fleeing as fast as possible. Don’t denigrate their art.

Photos: IXOLA/AKM-GSI

superficial

  1. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    KungFu Panda
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit that then let it run down her leg.

  2. Alcohol… Hollywood’s new performance-enhancing substance of choice for drivers.

  3. Alex

    No worries. The Ultra Rich Jew Club is intrigued. She would have to hold a puppy hostage during the next Super Bowl half-time while frantically pleasuring herself with a state of California trinket and screaming, “Death to the Heebs” before she gets considered for any infractions.

  4. JC

    She’s going to need to get a little more coke whorey if she wants to truly be the heir to Lindsay. But she’s got time, since Lindsay’s not actually dead yet.

  5. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s only one cure for this Amanda before you seriously hurt yourself.

    You need to get some killer kind bud, smoke pot with me, and let me dress you up in pantyhose and high heels and bang you all over your house.

    Sincerely,
    Dr. Jones

  6. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW!

  7. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Boo Yah
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d love to hit and run that ass.

  8. Also, do none of these fucksticks know what one of these is?

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/29/limo-340_119.jpg[/img]

    Go ahead, get as drunk and high off your ass as you want, snort a mountain of coke, bang a hooker, a gigolo, a goat, whatever… just stay off the goddamned streets.

  9. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard you “like Black guys”. Hows that working out for you, being buttless and all?

    • Deacon Jones

      I don’t know, but it’s a safe bet Tony wont be calling her anytime soon!

      • GetOverYourself

        Tony is too busy cruising the playgrounds in his panel van. He fiinally got the lift fixed, so he’s mobile again.

    • What

      “I heard you “like Black guys”. Hows that working out for you, being buttless and all?”

      What does that even mean?
      Jealous much?

  10. Johnny P!

    She’d better watch herself, this is getting serious.
    One more drunk driving incident, especially if she injures someone, might result in a $32 fine, 2 hours in jail, having to attend a few “really boring” driver education classes, and – dare I say it? – perhaps even a few hours of “Community Service”.
    That’s some merciless penal system we’re talking about here.

  11. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a PERFECT butt.

  12. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    what Amanda is thinking here : “Lohan, there can only be one”

  13. CranAppleSnapple

    That hair is really upsetting me. That’s really the end-stage.
    Amanda, unlike Lindsay, you are actually funny! You don’t need to look like Courtney Stodden’s daughter or Lindsay’s granddaughter! You can actually get hired due to talent!
    And take a damn BATH!

  14. EricLr

    I can’t believe a celebrity could get away with repeated hit-and-runs in Hollywood and not be punished in any way, shape, or form.

    Oh wait, yes I could.

  15. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    YTBOY
    Commented on this photo:

    That butt is PERFECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Lauren Stoner's Asshole
    Commented on this photo:

    So… who the hell is she?

  17. I want to fuck this woman in the worst way. I’ve been lusting over this POA, ever since “All That”. Btw, I’m the same age as her so lay off me, sanctimonious assholes.

  18. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    truth serum
    Commented on this photo:

    Those hair extensions are awful. So is her driving.

  19. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    So are the chicken legs.

  20. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    box
    Commented on this photo:

    Hideous blonde extensions? Starbucks in hand? Quilted Chanel handbag? Bag of beauty products she undoubtedly used her “celebrity” to get free of charge? All of this coupled with the driving record indicate the transformation is almost complete. Yup, all she needs now is an unsightly smattering of freckles, a few herp sores and her very own bull dyke to ensure the attention never ends.

  21. Carla

    Never thought I’d say this, but yeah, I know Lindsey Lohan, and bitch you’re no Lindsey Lohan.

  22. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Because when your career goes down, you want every woman, child and misplaced alcoholic to go down with it.

  23. Disney Fan

    I FAP to her teen age pics, but these’ll do…

  24. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    her father
    Commented on this photo:

    best legs in Hollywood

  25. mrsmass

    i call bullshit. Enterprise doesn’t rent out BMWs.

  26. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    torn shoulder labrum symptoms
    Commented on this photo:

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  27. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    karlito
    Commented on this photo:

    this reason this girl looks lost and confused is because she has been identified as Amanda Bynes but she is in fact Dakota Fanning.

  28. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Now where did my tiny friend go?! Bert?! Bert?! Oh there you are! Come on, walk beside me, so the paparazzi don’t think I’m crazy and talking to myself again!

  29. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Woops! Looks like you got lipstick on me. You’d better reapply before you take your panties off and run head first into that bush.” – Cup of Coffee

  30. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    horray for boobies
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d fuck the shit out of that train wreck!!

  31. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Officer, can you like, help me find my car? Its the one with the fake lighter weed pipe, and it talks to you in a voice like that crab from ‘The Little Mermaid’.”

  32. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone is about to find out solicitation is illegal

  33. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    I would very much like to caress those cheeks, and maybe nibble them a little too.

    And what an excellent way of diverting attention away from her sanity. Bravo!

  34. Amanda Bynes DUI Ass Legs Booty Shorts
    Carl
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever. I bet that’s so tight.

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