Alright. Who Ordered the Cher Nipples?

Presumably as punishment for allowing Snooki to become the harbinger of the new year, the Good Lord saw fit to smite us with the appearance of Cher’s nipples at the Madrid premiere of Burlesque yesterday. Making it even more Biblical, this has to be all kinds of confusing to gay men. On the one hand, it’s Cher. On the other, “girl nipples, gross.” For us straighties, this would be like seeing the face of Jesus, only to find out he’s into Amway. Oh, God, I can’t even think about it…

On that note, I added pics of Christina Aguilera and Kristen Bell because I suck at apologies. I honestly don’t know why I thought those would help.

NOTE: Some pics are a tad risque, so just don’t let your boss start squinting at your monitor. Tackle him, if need be.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

Tags: Cher