Almost a GOOP-nip and other news

May 25th, 2010 // 27 Comments

- Ashlee Simpson rubs it in that she’s skinnier than a mentally handicapped woman. Classy. [Lainey Gossip]

- Tom Cruise’s Esquire interview is as full of shit as you imagined. [Dlisted]

- Rick Astley is literally contemplating a comeback. [PopEater]

- Lindsay Lohan can still get away with snorting Adderall. In your face, legal system! [Huffington Post]

- I lost consciousness after “blows.” [HollywoodTuna]

- Jennifer Love Hewitt and the art of illusion. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Candice Swanepoel should replace Megan Fox in something next. [Popoholic]

- Madonna might replace Simon Cowell? [The Fab Life]

- Holly Madison is now one step closer to having a self-manufactured sex tape scandal. [StarPulse]

- But in the meantime, Kendra Wilkinson was paid $680,000 upfront for hers. [Celebslam]

- Kirsten Dunst continues showing up at places. I blame global warming. [Just Jared]

- Sarah Jessica Parker and those old chicks are back to fulfill all your stereotypes about women. Haha, they love shoes! [PopSugar]

- Miley Cyrus ain’t goin’ to no college. They done teach the evolutions there! [The Blemish]

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Photos: Splash News, WENN
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  1. FrankNfrtr

    Fines lines on the neck & eyes…this is what famous beauties look like when:
    A. caught in natural light
    B. with no camera soft focus tricks
    C. and no PhotoShop
    D. and it looks like Gwynny hasn’t yet made the plastic surgeon appointment just yet.
    Good for her.
    The hair’s awful but she looks great.

  2. Kassie

    my God she is hideous. And check out the wrinkly old-lady neck!

  3. MarcusP

    yow serious neck wrinlage

  4. Dr. John "Always at Your Cervix!"

    I’ve always thought Rick Astley has a dynamite voice. I think the reason he didn’t go further with his career is that he looks too much like Howdy Doody. He might be able to make a career comeback if he can man up a bit.

    If not, he can probably sell blowjobs in the Tenderloin District.

  5. OMG! Rick Astley is gonna make a comeback!!! I wonder if he’s gonna do 6 straight nights at Madison Square Garden.

  6. v-tard

    Gwyneth. Never do this hairstyle again. Ever.

  7. Taz

    I want to make sweet love to her. After she gets a haircut.

  8. Emma

    What the hell is going on with all of those typos? Are the new writers esl students? Skinner? Skinnier? Get way? Get away? WTF?

  9. Ashlee Simpson to rub it with a woman with mental disabilities Skinner. Classy. [Lainey Gossip] – Tom Cruise interview with Esquire magazine is also full of shit you imagined.

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  12. What do you want from her again in these comments? She looks beautiful as usual, I love this look.

  13. ClassyDirtyChick

    Does ANY guy want to hit this?

    She looks like a shrew! thin lipped and bony. and stuck up!

  14. Don Corleone

    Next time she really should choose a different makeup artist. Bonasera’s specialty isn’t live flesh…

  15. gigi

    wow, perkier than before…. did I miss talk of augmentation for Mrs. Martin? I normally don’t pay much attention to her doings…. [anybody remember the almost paradoxical flat sag-o-rama in that pink gown for one of those award shows a few years ago?

  16. I agree with FrankNfrtr. She looks great even if “oldish” looking…

  17. SO RIGHT

    A VERY bad hairstyle for Gwyneth!

  18. RtSS

    Poor hairstyle, she would still be a great hole plant my protein shake in… I’d do her in any hole she selects. I’d even lick her brown starfish. Tickle the balloon knot… Punch the dirt tunnel. Let’s get sloppy, Gee… Give me a call.

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  20. Lynne

    Oh cry me a river and I don’t believe one word of what her representation wrote on her blog.

  21. spacedust

    That is an entire bucket of makeup.

    • teetee14

      i agree. someone on her team forgot to airbrush her to look flawless. she is scary. wonder what she looks like in person YIKES……

  22. Misana

    too mash may-kup

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