When the report came in, I refused to believe another one of these.. these BEASTS existed. But the boys in the lab confirmed its existence and suggested the two might possibly be related. Cousins even. What kind of sick bastard are you, God? Like its “relative,” we discovered this one on the beach just in time to watch it devour a small canine. Then it announced itself:
ME TOOOOOOOO! ME TOOOOOOO!
I knew what had to be done as I reached into my pocket. Where were those blasted tank keys?
Photos: Flynet
haha | June 20, 2008 at 4:26 pm
FIRST
Randal | June 20, 2008 at 4:29 pm
First you filthy breeders!
This woman must truly work her way back into the form that was once hers. Than she can set her path straight again all the way to the top, where she belongs.
As to the bikini, I wish it were a much less revealing affair. She does not need to show so much of what should not be shown.
Randal
Quinn | June 20, 2008 at 4:29 pm
I’ll be back, I have to run to dunkin’s for a jelly roll.
Sudden craving
veggi | June 20, 2008 at 4:30 pm
second i’m a loser
DJ Jazzy P | June 20, 2008 at 4:30 pm
PORK!!!!!!!! It’s the new white meat!
Lola | June 20, 2008 at 4:32 pm
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…. fat ugly fucking cow….. um, question though, why do we care about her? she’s a nobody…. sam lufti prolly has her doped up too…. LMAO
Noct Uppe | June 20, 2008 at 4:33 pm
jamie lynn is popping out even more spearses into the world. every young person in this family should be required to watch The Baby Borrowers on NBC. http://www.nbc.com/The_Baby_Borrowers/video/#mea=262962
Quinn | June 20, 2008 at 4:34 pm
that’s a fucking tiny dog!!
how do they breed them that small?… genetically deformed.
Superevil | June 20, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I wanna kick Randal in his pussy.
Melissa | June 20, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Who the hell gives a shit about this broad? I mean… really??? So she’s a tank, now we need to give her attention?
gotmilk? | June 20, 2008 at 4:38 pm
i don’t know about you guys, but i ALWAYS wear a giant gold chain link necklace, hoop earings & 10lbs of make up to the beach!
Randal's Fan Club | June 20, 2008 at 4:40 pm
…and you do not need to say so much of what does not need to be said.
ramalamadingdong | June 20, 2008 at 4:40 pm
i had heard there was an earthquake at the beach…..and now we have found the epicenter!
DarkSecret | June 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm
DEBATE…..
Would I do her over this Kardashian character? Alli is overweight but she looks fresher, probably smells fresher, and probably has a lot less miles on her………..lets just say…person.
Fupa McGee | June 20, 2008 at 4:41 pm
There ain’t no hiding the FUPA
Deacon Jones | June 20, 2008 at 4:43 pm
MAN! What a fat fucking pig! (farting noise)
mike | June 20, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Who is this two tons of fun chick?
nipolian | June 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Nipolian: “That’s the ugliest little pig I have ever seen.”
Alli Sims: “It’s not a pig, it’s a dog.”
Nipolian “Yeah, I was talking to the dog.”
p0nk | June 20, 2008 at 4:49 pm
ahoy matey! thar she blows!
techclerk | June 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm
2nd DEBATE….
Should she be ashamed of the way that bikini fits her? Or should she be publicly humiliated to be known as a relation to Britney Spears?
I mean, there’s lots of overweight people (whoops….racist word… I know) on the beach but how many of them are related to Brit?
Gunther Bladderburst | June 20, 2008 at 4:51 pm
@14 Like she would let you do her anyway
dude | June 20, 2008 at 4:52 pm
well i don’t see what the problem is. she looks downright fuckable to me.
mike | June 20, 2008 at 5:00 pm
@22 Dude what is not fuckable to you?
Randal | June 20, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Ali,
It’s your world, girlfriend. Never mind what people are going on about. Just remember to keep your cool. Don’t give anyone a reason for you to get all heated up. The people here will never be worthy of ever going on a real date to anyplace where they would let trolls dance. But if you want, I’d go. Get down!
- Randal
(every fifth word speaks the truth)
Tommy Sneakers | June 20, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Who the hell is that?
Jimbo | June 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm
Fish dude, is this what you are going to leave us with for the entire weekend? You are a sadistic bastard if you do..
Tom | June 20, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Who is this again?
She’s a nobody, right? She’s not famous, she’s not hot, so why should we care?
J | June 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm
get a life. people don’t have to be a stick to be considered beautiful. how shallow are you dumbasses?
she’s not even famous! she’s a relative of someone famous. who the fuck CARES?
T-Bone | June 20, 2008 at 5:53 pm
I don’t understand, all the people writing on this are perfect huh? No guts nothing. It’s hilarious to me people are so judgmental when they aren’t perfect!!!!
pointandlaugh | June 20, 2008 at 5:55 pm
who is this broad?
James | June 20, 2008 at 6:00 pm
I think she’s hot.
Gunther Bladderburst | June 20, 2008 at 6:01 pm
@29… I guess you tend to forget people are people when you see them on TV all the time.
Kristen Dei from LA (Louisiana that is) | June 20, 2008 at 6:04 pm
#24…
DAMN! I was just Rick Rolled!
roop | June 20, 2008 at 6:19 pm
I don’t get it. She’s just as pretty as her cousins yaaaa’ll.
FIsh you suck balls | June 20, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Who is she again? If she is no celeb, keep her of fthe site and leave her alone Fish. We civilian pedestrians don’t need to be mocked like the beautiful people. Leave the girl alone.
Randal | June 20, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Imitation is the true form of flattery, so I thank the wanna-be Randal’s today for the laugh for there’s been more than there has been in some time. Kudo’s!
Alli Sims, who I am not familiar with, looks great. A healthy form and shape nestled with an attractive face and brown hair. Her skin glows well too, so she’s obviously taking care of herself.
There’s an air of confidence about her too that makes you want to blow kisses toward her.
Have a great weekend folks. Hugs to the ladies, high-fives to the gents.
Randal
Kim Lardassian | June 20, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Whats the big deal? just the average fat American.
Anexio | June 20, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Who invited Shamoo?
And #37, go stick a stick in your foreign twat you foreign twat.
KC | June 20, 2008 at 7:03 pm
For the first time ever I was afraid to click on the Full Size button.
0bviously | June 20, 2008 at 7:22 pm
2 things this chick should never be caught dead in –
Spandex or a Bikini
yenjvoy | June 20, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Fat girls have WET pussies and low self esteem – whats not to like.
Maudina | June 20, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Was there ever a single post Randal didnt have a pointless and retarded comment about?
La Toya Jackson | June 20, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Just because someone doesn’t have their hip bones and entire ribcage poking out doesn’t mean they’re fat. She could lose A LITTLE weight, but otherwise she just looks like an average person walking on the beach.
Kirschy Squirts | June 20, 2008 at 8:15 pm
I hope she didn’t eat that little dog.
maudina | June 20, 2008 at 8:17 pm
No matter how obese these girls get, there’s always few people posting defending them with all their heart saying they’re not really fat! I live in Europe half of the year and I DON’T see young girls on the beach who look like that! Sorry. I’m not saying everyone should be slim but, let’s at least admit there are some serious weight issues going on with Americans. And, that she’s VERY fat.
Condom Man | June 20, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Oh come on like she’s THAT bad
Condom Man | June 20, 2008 at 8:42 pm
I guess I just have low / realistic standards.
Guest | June 20, 2008 at 8:45 pm
You are all really rude. I’m sure that half the girls that are posting look like her, and the boys are just trying to seem manly. Just stop trying to act high and mighty and give it up.
Nor Cal is the Bomb | June 20, 2008 at 8:56 pm
EXTREMELY TRUE regarding Americans being total fat asses. We are disgusting fat too. There is a fat you can only get to from eating American fast food. The globular fat rolls are larger & looser than what would be from say, beer. American fast food makes the gunt hang low over the pubic area and the jiggle is more pronounced. I love the current backlash against the pathetic notion that this is some kind of natural, normal occurance. It’s an unhealthy body from an unhealthy lifestyle (from a government with a gigantic financial interest in ill health (the gov. paid off percription empire)), and is harmful to the environment. These freaks should be marched down the jogging trail naked until they look like Gisele Bunchen & the Rock. Yay!
djfredflintstone | June 20, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Not cool dude. Somewhat distant relatives of celebrities who are not trying to be famous are not fair game. If you’re this hard up for stories this close to the weekend, just take off early.