Meet UK receptionist/gymnast Alison Carroll. She’s just been announced as the new face of Lara Croft since Angelina Jolie has decided to become the vaginal portal for an entire civilization. The Telegraph reports:
But Carroll has not landed a movie role – instead she will promote the new Tomb Raider video game, Underworld, which is released in November. Nell McAndrew found fame as the first Lara Croft model in the 1990s. Carroll will star in TV adverts and travel the world to meet Lara Croft fans.
Winning the role of Lara means Carroll can quit her job as a receptionist.
“This is a fantastic opportuntiy and I am really looking forward to embracing Lara’s world,” she said. “I still can’t believe they chose me to take on the role of Lara – and I can’t wait to get stuck in. This is my dream job. I have always wanted to be an action hero and hope to be able to use my gymnastic ability to perform all of Lara’s stunts.”
That’s a whole lot of fancy words for “Hey, look at my boobs.”
This post is dedicated to my esteemed colleague The Geekologie Writer. It’s his birthday today, so everybody wish him a good one. As for me, I’ll be reminiscing about all that sex I had with his mom nine months before he was born. Happy Birthday, old chum!
Ivy | August 12, 2008 at 10:36 am
first?
P-Mat | August 12, 2008 at 10:37 am
I would loveeee to raid that tomb.
Spanky | August 12, 2008 at 10:37 am
I would eat that raw.
Tony | August 12, 2008 at 10:38 am
There’s always been a separate girl they choose to push the games.
surlywench | August 12, 2008 at 10:40 am
Nope, not pulling it off. Not at all. She looks way too young, doughy and naive to be playing an ‘action hero’. She needs to hit the gym and tone up some of that flab.
God, I’m bitter today.
Spanky | August 12, 2008 at 10:40 am
She has it all. Boobs, flexibility and a tasty money maker. I think I will take her home and share her with my wife.
RichPort | August 12, 2008 at 10:41 am
What a croc! Lara Croft didn’t have a mole on her tit…
blammy | August 12, 2008 at 10:42 am
Um, OK, the leg kick shot. Could they have at least photoshopped the 5 o’clock shadow around her crotch? Seriously, that is so not appetizing knowing her pubes grow that far down her leg.
blammy | August 12, 2008 at 10:44 am
Um, OK, the leg kick shot. Could they have at least photoshopped the 5 o’clock shadow around her crotch? Seriously, that is so not appetizing knowing her pubes grow that far down her leg.
blammy | August 12, 2008 at 10:46 am
Sorry about the double post.
The Geekologie Writer | August 12, 2008 at 10:49 am
Oh my God, it’s true — I have your nose!
http://www.webescape.wordpress.com | August 12, 2008 at 10:51 am
At least she can do more than stick her chest out and pout…
rough daddy | August 12, 2008 at 10:53 am
lovely chest,,,wonder if she banged the boss being a former “receptionist”
Dr. Otto Van DerWahl | August 12, 2008 at 10:53 am
Now ladies, this is one to go lesbo for
P-Mat | August 12, 2008 at 10:54 am
Pubes? sorry I was too busy looking at the good stuff.
Sell Porn Make Money | August 12, 2008 at 10:54 am
I like it… but are there really “lara croft fans”? If so, line them up and slap them silly.
p0nk | August 12, 2008 at 10:56 am
nice guns
rough daddy | August 12, 2008 at 10:59 am
i thought this was all bull shit till i saw pic #8….
long, awkward prose | August 12, 2008 at 11:00 am
this will work until she has to smile… she IS british after all.
Onyx Blackman | August 12, 2008 at 11:02 am
What happened to the old new Lara Croft (Karima Adebibe); the one with the giraffe neck? And is Lara Croft supposed to have a big, nasty scar on her left knee, or is that just something this chick brings to the character?
andy7171 | August 12, 2008 at 11:05 am
Picture #8 is so totally unprofessional! You’d think they’d at least air brush a tan down there at least. It’s like something from Home Town Honeys!
Ted Mosby | August 12, 2008 at 11:08 am
I’d raid her tomb.
Justin | August 12, 2008 at 11:10 am
Quite appropriately, she looks more like a receptionist than an adventurer.
The Geekologie Writer | August 12, 2008 at 11:12 am
Dad,
I guess that explains my one inch penis. Please stop advertising for my site on yours. I want to make it on my own.
blow | August 12, 2008 at 11:14 am
The crotch flash pic…mmmmm, I like me that pic. A lighter shade of twat. MMMM.
CHEESE | August 12, 2008 at 11:21 am
She could definitely afford to lose some pounds…but other than that she looks decent. She seems like one of those chicks that will be a huge fat mom that never loses her baby weight in a few years.
The Kilted Yaksman | August 12, 2008 at 11:27 am
Wow, a Lara Croft with real muscle tone. AJ’s veiny little toothpick arms just killed it for me.
Sam | August 12, 2008 at 11:31 am
“Winning the role of Lara means Carroll can quit her job as a receptionist.”
You can kinda tell she has a sedentary job. Does she kill by raining down thunder from her thighs, or by making enemies disappear in her vortex of a bellybutton?
gotmilk? | August 12, 2008 at 11:35 am
lose some pounds? where? in her muscle tone? get real!
rough daddy | August 12, 2008 at 11:36 am
hey sam? #28 all the areas you pointed out may not qualify her as lara croft but in real life make her so damn delicious…id like to burry some rough yogurt in that vortex….
Spanky | August 12, 2008 at 11:38 am
I bet her babymaker tastes like fish and chips. Hopefully it does not smell that way though.
Turd Ferguson | August 12, 2008 at 11:41 am
Ummmmm…..where’s a sock, or at least some tissues ???
Wanna se my “Ohh” face??
http://www.webescape.wordpress.com | August 12, 2008 at 11:41 am
#14, nah not for me, her belly button freaks me out, if I were to go girl then get me a Jesse Jane to slap me about a bit hehe x
Mike | August 12, 2008 at 11:42 am
#9….Spot on!! Christ, you can even see the powder she poured on. Jeeezus!!!
Adam | August 12, 2008 at 11:44 am
It is ridiculous that you are all complaining about this woman. She is gorgeous. I would leave my wife for this in a heartbeat. She is amazing! There is a new Tomb Raider movie in the works. I was going to pass on it, but if she is in it, I am there.
mixedmartialartvideos.com | August 12, 2008 at 11:50 am
nice, Hef should get this girl in Playboy
Who's Horny? | August 12, 2008 at 11:54 am
This girl looks good enough (to fuck). I’m not exactly a ‘Lara Croft fan’, but I have played the game before. But somehow, I expected the Lara Croft model to be prettier… not that I’d complain if I had the chance to bust a nut inside this one.
Is that a belly button or a cup holder?
YesAndNo | August 12, 2008 at 11:56 am
Pretty or not, these pictures are so ridiculous.
duh | August 12, 2008 at 11:58 am
how humiliating
typical superficial loser | August 12, 2008 at 11:59 am
She’s FUGLY!!! Her face looks like a chimp, she could lose 20 pounds and her navel is too big. She gets two thumbs down from me.
stizz | August 12, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Why do these pictures look like they were taken by a 5 year old? What’s with the lighting? And uh, yeah the crotch shot…
Chris | August 12, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I liked the one from the last game better, as someone else mentioned… Karima Adebibe.
That being said, since they seem to pick a new Tomb Raider girl every 2 years I wouldnt quit my job if I was her.
ktb | August 12, 2008 at 12:04 pm
uggh! tanning booth marks under her butt cheeks. I’m with #21
English Bob | August 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Hey all you haters out there, do your teachers know your accessing this website? Hurry now or you’ll miss Gym class or drivers ed or whatever you fuckwits are taught….
P.S. The Russians are coming…….Aaahhh, No, bet you all shit a brick though eh?!
monty | August 12, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Is she showing a bit of labia in that kick shot?
you pizza-faced losers | August 12, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Summer’s almost over so the pizza-faced losers won’t be able to post in the morning anymore. Back to middle school for you losers
Jumpin_J | August 12, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Seriously, with that leg kick in photo #8 and expect she’s a hero? We’re so doooomed!
rough daddy | August 12, 2008 at 12:14 pm
theres professionalism in selling sex? #21
andy7171 | August 12, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I meant professionalism as in photography.
I’m not seeing the 20lbs that you all are talking about her losing. And she’s cure, what the deal with all the slamming?
IWantOne | August 12, 2008 at 12:21 pm
She can be my super hero any day. I’m doing a new movie called Naughty Nitetime Nanny and I want this girl for the lead role. She swallows right?