Meet UK receptionist/gymnast Alison Carroll. She’s just been announced as the new face of Lara Croft since Angelina Jolie has decided to become the vaginal portal for an entire civilization. The Telegraph reports:
But Carroll has not landed a movie role – instead she will promote the new Tomb Raider video game, Underworld, which is released in November. Nell McAndrew found fame as the first Lara Croft model in the 1990s. Carroll will star in TV adverts and travel the world to meet Lara Croft fans.
Winning the role of Lara means Carroll can quit her job as a receptionist.
“This is a fantastic opportuntiy and I am really looking forward to embracing Lara’s world,” she said. “I still can’t believe they chose me to take on the role of Lara – and I can’t wait to get stuck in. This is my dream job. I have always wanted to be an action hero and hope to be able to use my gymnastic ability to perform all of Lara’s stunts.”
That’s a whole lot of fancy words for “Hey, look at my boobs.”
This post is dedicated to my esteemed colleague The Geekologie Writer. It’s his birthday today, so everybody wish him a good one. As for me, I’ll be reminiscing about all that sex I had with his mom nine months before he was born. Happy Birthday, old chum!