Alison Carroll is the new face/chest of Lara Croft

August 12th, 2008 // 206 Comments

Meet UK receptionist/gymnast Alison Carroll. She’s just been announced as the new face of Lara Croft since Angelina Jolie has decided to become the vaginal portal for an entire civilization. The Telegraph reports:

But Carroll has not landed a movie role – instead she will promote the new Tomb Raider video game, Underworld, which is released in November. Nell McAndrew found fame as the first Lara Croft model in the 1990s. Carroll will star in TV adverts and travel the world to meet Lara Croft fans.
Winning the role of Lara means Carroll can quit her job as a receptionist.
“This is a fantastic opportuntiy and I am really looking forward to embracing Lara’s world,” she said. “I still can’t believe they chose me to take on the role of Lara – and I can’t wait to get stuck in. This is my dream job. I have always wanted to be an action hero and hope to be able to use my gymnastic ability to perform all of Lara’s stunts.”

That’s a whole lot of fancy words for “Hey, look at my boobs.”

This post is dedicated to my esteemed colleague The Geekologie Writer. It’s his birthday today, so everybody wish him a good one. As for me, I’ll be reminiscing about all that sex I had with his mom nine months before he was born. Happy Birthday, old chum!

Photos: Splash News

  1. P-Mat

    I would loveeee to raid that tomb.

  2. Spanky

    I would eat that raw.

  3. Tony

    There’s always been a separate girl they choose to push the games.

  4. surlywench

    Nope, not pulling it off. Not at all. She looks way too young, doughy and naive to be playing an ‘action hero’. She needs to hit the gym and tone up some of that flab.

    God, I’m bitter today.

  5. Spanky

    She has it all. Boobs, flexibility and a tasty money maker. I think I will take her home and share her with my wife.

  6. What a croc! Lara Croft didn’t have a mole on her tit…

  7. blammy

    Um, OK, the leg kick shot. Could they have at least photoshopped the 5 o’clock shadow around her crotch? Seriously, that is so not appetizing knowing her pubes grow that far down her leg.

  8. blammy

    Um, OK, the leg kick shot. Could they have at least photoshopped the 5 o’clock shadow around her crotch? Seriously, that is so not appetizing knowing her pubes grow that far down her leg.

  9. blammy

    Sorry about the double post.

  10. The Geekologie Writer

    Oh my God, it’s true — I have your nose!

  11. At least she can do more than stick her chest out and pout…

  12. rough daddy

    lovely chest,,,wonder if she banged the boss being a former “receptionist”

  13. Now ladies, this is one to go lesbo for

  14. P-Mat

    Pubes? sorry I was too busy looking at the good stuff.

  15. I like it… but are there really “lara croft fans”? If so, line them up and slap them silly.

  16. p0nk

    nice guns

  17. rough daddy

    i thought this was all bull shit till i saw pic #8….

  18. this will work until she has to smile… she IS british after all.

  19. Onyx Blackman

    What happened to the old new Lara Croft (Karima Adebibe); the one with the giraffe neck? And is Lara Croft supposed to have a big, nasty scar on her left knee, or is that just something this chick brings to the character?

  20. andy7171

    Picture #8 is so totally unprofessional! You’d think they’d at least air brush a tan down there at least. It’s like something from Home Town Honeys!

  21. Ted Mosby

    I’d raid her tomb.

  22. Quite appropriately, she looks more like a receptionist than an adventurer.

  23. The Geekologie Writer

    I guess that explains my one inch penis. Please stop advertising for my site on yours. I want to make it on my own.

  24. blow

    The crotch flash pic…mmmmm, I like me that pic. A lighter shade of twat. MMMM.

  25. CHEESE

    She could definitely afford to lose some pounds…but other than that she looks decent. She seems like one of those chicks that will be a huge fat mom that never loses her baby weight in a few years.

  26. The Kilted Yaksman

    Wow, a Lara Croft with real muscle tone. AJ’s veiny little toothpick arms just killed it for me.

  27. Sam

    “Winning the role of Lara means Carroll can quit her job as a receptionist.”

    You can kinda tell she has a sedentary job. Does she kill by raining down thunder from her thighs, or by making enemies disappear in her vortex of a bellybutton?

  28. gotmilk?

    lose some pounds? where? in her muscle tone? get real!

  29. rough daddy

    hey sam? #28 all the areas you pointed out may not qualify her as lara croft but in real life make her so damn delicious…id like to burry some rough yogurt in that vortex….

  30. Spanky

    I bet her babymaker tastes like fish and chips. Hopefully it does not smell that way though.

  31. Turd Ferguson

    Ummmmm…..where’s a sock, or at least some tissues ???

    Wanna se my “Ohh” face??

  32. #14, nah not for me, her belly button freaks me out, if I were to go girl then get me a Jesse Jane to slap me about a bit hehe x

  33. Mike

    #9….Spot on!! Christ, you can even see the powder she poured on. Jeeezus!!!

  34. It is ridiculous that you are all complaining about this woman. She is gorgeous. I would leave my wife for this in a heartbeat. She is amazing! There is a new Tomb Raider movie in the works. I was going to pass on it, but if she is in it, I am there.

  35. nice, Hef should get this girl in Playboy

  36. Who's Horny?

    This girl looks good enough (to fuck). I’m not exactly a ‘Lara Croft fan’, but I have played the game before. But somehow, I expected the Lara Croft model to be prettier… not that I’d complain if I had the chance to bust a nut inside this one.

    Is that a belly button or a cup holder?

  37. YesAndNo

    Pretty or not, these pictures are so ridiculous.

  38. duh

    how humiliating

  39. typical superficial loser

    She’s FUGLY!!! Her face looks like a chimp, she could lose 20 pounds and her navel is too big. She gets two thumbs down from me.

  40. stizz

    Why do these pictures look like they were taken by a 5 year old? What’s with the lighting? And uh, yeah the crotch shot…

  41. Chris

    I liked the one from the last game better, as someone else mentioned… Karima Adebibe.

    That being said, since they seem to pick a new Tomb Raider girl every 2 years I wouldnt quit my job if I was her.

  42. ktb

    uggh! tanning booth marks under her butt cheeks. I’m with #21

  43. English Bob

    Hey all you haters out there, do your teachers know your accessing this website? Hurry now or you’ll miss Gym class or drivers ed or whatever you fuckwits are taught….
    P.S. The Russians are coming…….Aaahhh, No, bet you all shit a brick though eh?!

  44. monty

    Is she showing a bit of labia in that kick shot?

  45. you pizza-faced losers

    Summer’s almost over so the pizza-faced losers won’t be able to post in the morning anymore. Back to middle school for you losers

  46. Jumpin_J

    Seriously, with that leg kick in photo #8 and expect she’s a hero? We’re so doooomed!

  47. rough daddy

    theres professionalism in selling sex? #21

  48. andy7171

    I meant professionalism as in photography.

    I’m not seeing the 20lbs that you all are talking about her losing. And she’s cure, what the deal with all the slamming?

  49. IWantOne

    She can be my super hero any day. I’m doing a new movie called Naughty Nitetime Nanny and I want this girl for the lead role. She swallows right?

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