Alice Eve Got Married, I Hate This Year Already
Because The Lord did look down upon 2015 and declared to the heavenly host, “I shall fucketh this shit all up,” Alice Eve got married on New Year’s Eve, and it wasn’t to one of us. I would’ve remembered something like that. Her? Probably not so much. Women call me “The Ghost” in the sack. Mostly from getting the sheet wrapped around my head and moaning, “Is it happening yet? Is this sex?!” while they run out of the room like a Scooby Doo cartoon. It’s very sensual. Anyway, here’s the Alice Eve topless GIF, and sorry I didn’t get to the entire point of this post sooner. I just feel like we never talk.