Ali Lohan Is Dying

December 15th, 2011 // 173 Comments

What you’re looking are just released photos of Ali Lohan in Hawaii on Monday and not a bleached white starving Ethopian robbing a CD store only to be thwarted by a gust of wind. Then again, I’ve been wrong about so, so many things before. Right, Reese Witherspoon’s uterus? (I know you were vacuumed.)

Photos: Flynet


  1. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    all I can say is WOW… poor thing.

    • Randal

      Some people have a hard time keeping weight on, especially at such a young age as Ali. She obviously has a very active metabolism and life style but in time, it will start to slow down.

      The heroin chic look was a huge hit in the fashion industry years ago and trends do have a way of being fashionable again. Personally, Ali is on the cutting edge of making it popular a second time around.


      • Randal, I’m not sure if you’re the real deal, or if this is performance art, but either way, Bra-vo!

      • lily

        hard time keeping weight on? she USED to be like 20 pounds heavier, so she deliberately lost weight in pursuit of a modeling career….theres nothing cutting edge about her look.. shes still a butterface, just a skinny one now.

      • Expert on Everything

        OK Dina (Randal), you can stop justifying all your kids addicted to slut dust calling it ‘cutting edge’. More like cutting coke lines. Her hair is dirty and matted, her clothes are filthy w/her no-ass-at-all hanging out and she’s wearing $2.00 flip flops from Old Navy. GO TO COLLEGE. YOUR FAMILY BULLSHIT HAS EVISCERATED YOUR CREDIBILITY!

      • Kid

        She wasn’t 20 pounds heavier. Maybe 10 at her heaviest. Ali was always slender, she wasn’t even average weight.

  2. Cock Dr

    *gasp of horror*

  3. Dee

    The title made me snort, but then I looked at the pictures.. and felt bad for initially finding it amusing.. This is really sad looking :/ How old is she ?

    • EricLr

      In normal kid years, she’s 16. In “My parents are exploitative fame-whores who’ve pimped me out as a celebrity from the day I was born” years, she’s about 100.

    • Kid

      She’s 18 years old the Friday after next Friday. She’s born Dec. 22, 1993.

  4. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess she had to out skinny Calista Flockhart and LeAnn Rimes.

  5. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    fap fap fap!

    (ashamed & embarrassed)

  6. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s no mass there for gravity to work with. She’s blowing around like a balloon.

  7. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What a fucked up family.

  8. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    I like skinny girls but that’s too much please someone give this girl a cheeseburger xD

  9. I love skinny girls but this is too much, please somebody gives this girl a cheeseburger xD

  10. Carles

    Can’t ever be too rich or too skinny.

  11. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody opened a car door nearby.

  12. Maybeline

    She looks like one of those guys that were in a concentration camp, starved to death before they were required to take a shower in the gas chamber.

  13. JC

    The weight of that CD just broke her arm.

  14. Snack pack

    But she looks so happy . . . I’m sure there’s nothing wrong here.

    • EricLr

      Well wouldn’t you wake up smiling every day if Michael and Dina Lohan were your parents and big sis Lindsey Lohan was the closest thing in your life to a role model?

  15. Model

    Her hair also appears to be falling out, and she’s got some male patten baldness going there.

  16. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    What, exactly, am I supposed to be looking at here?

  17. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to cut down on the burrito’s the tubby cow!

  18. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:


  19. sarah


  20. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh GOD!

  21. iheartdina

    Boob job?

  22. Kevin

    We could make a game out of this. Who kicks the can first, Lindsey or Ali? That’s wrong I know…

  23. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, i farted, and seem to have blown you off your feet. Speaking of blown …

  24. Well

    Comments are pretty harsh. She may be a spoiled rich whore like Lindsay, but she’s only 18 years old. Do you remember when you were 18? She’s either extremely anorexic, on drugs, or both. I can only hope her welfare gets taken out of the hands of her family and someone who has a soul gets her back on track. She deserves a chance to be semi-normal.

    • Karen

      Harsh comments about an 18 year old attention-whore from the first family of famewhores on a website called “The Superficial”. Perhaps you thought you were visiting a blog called “The Sensitive”. Sheesh…don’t waste your energy defending a Lohan. Her brothers manage to keep themselves out of the limelight and they can gain (or lose) all the weight they want. We won’t comment because they aren’t calling the paps on themselves nor do we care!!

      • POWW

        Karen, so what if she’s a Lohen–it’s not relevant to her
        obvious health issues. By the way she’s 16.
        And just because all of us read The Superficial for
        the witty writing (sometimes Fish–don’t get a big head) and
        a good laugh, there is NOTHING funny about this girl’s
        weight. Nothing.

    • Help

      Hi, when I was 18, I was in college, healthy and not on drugs. Pretty sure that speaks for the majority of the 18-year-old demographic.

    • Clarence Beeks

      I would agree if she was just a normal girl trying to live a discreet life. But she WANTS to be famous. Tried to have a reality show, a music career, and now is a MODEL (though I do not know how she ever got signed, I think she is so unattractive).

      Game on.

      • From Wikipedia: “Ali Lohan began her career as a Ford Model at age 3…” So there you go. She was a cute baby. And apparently, “Vogue Bambini” is a thing.

      • Jillia

        You don’t have to be pretty to be a high fashion model. That’s what hair and make up is for. You just have to be very tall and skinny.

    • mrsmass

      like you said, she’s 18. she’s not 12. her “welfare” is fucked.

  25. EricLr

    Dina better act fast or her backup cash cow is going to tip over.

  26. Marla

    She is sick and that’s all that’s going on here. From drugs or an eating disorder, she needs to find intervention real soon.

  27. And to think, she was totally on track to be a butter-face skank with a banging body…

  28. Why is Fish posting decades old photos of Karen Carpenter?

  29. ssdd

    she should hang out with jlove hewitt.. that way she’ll start appreciating food again

  30. Four degrees to her right and she’d have been invisible.

  31. Really?

    The big question should be why does she have a CD? Is she too broke to get an mp3 player?

  32. Venom

    This is not even funny, she is going to die.

    • Schmidtler

      Everybody’s eventually going to die. Between then & now, I plan on laughing my ass off at all the freaks and weirdos.

    • Blech

      Yeah, I can’t laugh at this either. And her family, and the Lohans’ overall reputation, is so fucked up that I don’t blame her for doing this to herself… Sigh.

      We wonder about Lindsay but this girl’s gonna go…

  33. Fuckin’ fatass. Get on a treadmill, tubby.

  34. Frank Burns

    Good work Ali, just three more pounds until you start to become transparent!

  35. Jesus Lord it is painful to look at her. Poor thing looks like she’d snap in half if she sneezed too hard.

  36. Jolene Jolene

    I’m not sure why this is shocking. This is what “high fashion” models look like now, and I’m not being facetious. She’s gotta stay in line! Perfect for clothes, gross in real life…

  37. Do_Freebird

    My God, this is not funny. She has a mother who is pushing her into losing weight so that she can collect money from her “model” daughter, a sister who is so self-engrossed that she isn’t aware her younger sibling is nearing the “death stage” of anorexia, and a father who would go on the TV (for cash of course) and wail about his poor daughter, but wouldn’t lift a finger to help her.
    This poor girl is as good as dead, and no one seems to care.

  38. AssIn9

    I think he nailed it.She’s on drugs.It’s not such a stretch when you consider both her parents are drug addicts, and her sister is Lindsay Blow Lohan. But I don’t think it’s Heroin, I think she’s on Meth or Coke.

  39. Do_Freebird

    She weighs 60 pounds. Her body weighs 50 pounds. Her fake tits weigh 10 pounds.
    Nothing gives away fake tits like anorexia.

  40. AssIn9

    Also… if she had monstrous tits no one would say shit about how skinny she is. Dina’s slacking.

    • I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if she had “monstrous tits,” she wouldn’t be this skinny. Not *this* skinny. Unless she had implants. And even then, I don’t know if those legs could support the added weight.

  41. Savalas

    And for just 59 cents per day – the price of a cup of coffee – you can make sure Ali Lohan has something to eat.

  42. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    ok maybe sh is getting too thin, but i look back and when i was 14 i was the same skinny and i ae whatever i want i was five nine and very skinny people would ask if i ate, i did, more than them probably…maybe shes just skinny?

  43. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Mike Nike
    Commented on this photo:

    Her mother Dina and Lindsay support this look. They say there is nothing wrong. They are living in denial. She is clearly having an eating disorder. Because they are fame whores. They are like the Kardashians……….no body gives a fuck but they survive on losers with no taste.

  44. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    that family does not produce nice butts.

  45. kimmykimkim

    So, she’s what, like, 8’5″ without heels?

  46. MLVC

    I would still lick her shitter…obviously nothing will ease out

  47. Bubba

    “What’s this? What’s this? There’s cocaine everywhere! What’s this? I’m losing all my hair. What’s this? I can’t believe my eyes, I must be dreaming, throw up Al, this isn’t–BLEEGGEARR-AAIR. What’s this!”

    -’Nightmare Before Christmas 2-Jack Does Hawaii’ starring Ali Lohan! Coming soon to a theater near you.

  48. Yeah, not funny. This chick is sick.

  49. Ali Lohan Anorexic Skinny Hawaii
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks hot! I love skinny girls.

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