Fun Fact: Alexander Skarsgård isn’t even in this movie. He’s that good.
Legend has it Alexander Skarsgård‘s penis sings this exact song to you after it bangs you. Which is a joke, of course, because scientists don’t even have a form of measurement that accurately reflects the short amount of time it’s not inside a vagina. Although recent studies have theorized it exists in something called an “infinite penetration loop” or, as one of them described it to me, “Longer than it takes you to ejaculate. Hey, wait a minute, Stephen Hawking doesn’t cry after sex. Security!”
Photos: Getty
I have been checking this site all morning waiting for your Skarsgard post. They bring me such joy.
Come on… Give that thing a realty show already…
By “thing” do you mean the outline in his pants that’s halfway down to his knee?
By “realty show” do you mean something like Flip That House or Million Dollar Listing?
Considering that Ellen Page is a lesbian I doubt he’s banging her.
Well, she was a lesbian…
The power of the Skarsgård > genetically determined lesbianism.
are you kidding? I think I can already see her baby bump!
See Fish’s previous post: http://www.thesuperficial.com/ellen-page-lesbian-alexander-skarsgard-hockey-game-06-2012
“Hello, ladies. Ever been spitroasted by one man?”
You asshole.
Ever since you posted that pic last week, I’m noticing double phantom penises poking out of his fucking pants now, thanks for that!
My god. Her man hands are bigger then his man hands.
He’s wearing her ass as a hat in his spare time from making vaginas smile, isn’t he?
Thank you fish.
Skarsgard is so fucking sexy!
You can never eat just one.
he will make sex in all of these now, yes?
Man, I would love to get a piece of Ellen Page. Something sext about her.
my word, his penis is longer than a 3 week payday!
He always orders a hottie sandwich with a side order of lesbian. Classic Skarsgard.
The man likes a little bit of a challenge. It’s nice to see an actual work ethic these days.
This is one unattractive man. Looks like an alien with that forehead.
TRANSLATION:
Carolyn tried to come back for seconds and he wasn’t available.
How can that thing be pointing at both of them at the same time?
He’s just that good
Sort of gives a whole new meaning to DP, doesn’t it?
It bends space-time. It’s all very Skars-Trek.
wibbly wobbly… time-y wimey… Cock.
Yeah, it’s Zal Batmanglij until somebody loses and eye! http://cdn.romitaman.com/Images/Category_2/subcat_784/DKR4pg2.jpg
“Who are you?” “I’m Batman. Zal Batman…glij.”
Yes, yes, wonderful. Who’s next?
He could do worse for a threesome. I’d settle for just Ellen.
She went straight from this photo shoot to the nearest Babies R Us store to get a crib…for twins.
Love the Man. Love the posts devoted to him. Love the comments. Love love love.
“You know, there’s Another Earth in pants.”
“It’s like f*cking Janeane Garofalo all over again.”
Your move, Hamm.
Nice one.
those shoes bring out the douche in all your eyes
I have no idea how this guy is as an actor but, from an aesthetic viewpoint, he’s not all that. I’m starting to think he’s gay b/c of all the internet gossip about his supposed prowess with the ladies. Probably his publicist’s doing.
Maybe I just think this guy is ‘meh’ b/c he reminds me of an ex-boyfriend. Blond & boring…
Well this site has a running joke about him being a Rapey sex offender with mystical powers of fertilization. I don’t think a publicist would really want their client characterized that way…
That’s a good picture of the our of them.