Alexander Skarsgård Will Bang Sundance Now

Fun Fact: Alexander Skarsgård isn’t even in this movie. He’s that good.


Legend has it Alexander Skarsgård’s penis sings this exact song to you after it bangs you. Which is a joke, of course, because scientists don’t even have a form of measurement that accurately reflects the short amount of time it’s not inside a vagina. Although recent studies have theorized it exists in something called an “infinite penetration loop” or, as one of them described it to me, “Longer than it takes you to ejaculate. Hey, wait a minute, Stephen Hawking doesn’t cry after sex. Security!”

Photos: Getty