The Skarsgard Seed Is Strong

August 27th, 2012 // 29 Comments
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“On three, we find the nearest clinic and vacuum these things out of us.”

If Alexander Skarsgard is the true Nordic God of Sex-Thunder and not some Australian facsimile with delicious abs who foolishly got married and sired a child the second he made it big with his delicious abs, then his father Stellan Skarsgard is Odin, The All-Fucker, who forged his son’s mythical weapon with his own two hands and I’m not just saying that because I saw The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and now think the Swedish are the type of people who’d mold their kids’ penises into shapes. Completely unrelated. THR reports:

Skarsgard, 61, has become a father for the eighth time on Friday, a rep for the actor confirms to The Hollywood Reporter.
The child, a healthy boy, was born to wife Megan Everett in Stockholm. The couple shares one other child, three-year-old son Ossian.
The other six children — Alexander, Gustaf, Sam, Bill, Valter and Eija — come from Skarsgard’s previous marriage to My Skarsgard.

So remember earlier when I accurately predicted the birth of Snooki‘s son would doom us all to perish in a tornado of AIDS? What I meant was unless Skarsgard the 8th here doesn’t bang said tornado into the sun (And I don’t see why he wouldn’t.), so hopefully nobody killed themselves in a fit of depression since I wrote that post. I probably should’ve got around to this sooner, you’re right.

Photos: Getty

superficial

  1. Alexander Skarsgard Stellan Skarsgard The Avengers Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You see that girl, son?
    Yes, father.
    On three, impregnate!

  2. Sandusky

    I bet they could make a dude pregnant

  3. eatme

    …this site is fucking shit now. nothing but fucking pop-ups and unresponsive scripts.

    • SexJihaad9/11

      Pop up blocker, ad blocker, sript blocker, done, done and done.

      • eatme

        …and I think we can all agree that the very reason we have to use tools like pop up blocker, ad blocker, script blocker, et al. is because of bullshit sites that are nothing but fucking pop-ups and unresponsive scripts. The superficial has become like one of those russian web sites that are totally out of hand. I fully do not doubt that in a few months time it will be re-directing me to gay anal porn sites.

      • Prof.Widow

        I don’t get a single pop-up in this site, ever. Quit your bitching and learn to use a goddamn computer.

      • eatme

        …umm yeah, except that i’m a systems developer by trade.

      • General Zod

        So by your own admission you know nothing about operating systems :)

      • eatme

        …I know plenty about operating systems…but, of course, this discussion has absolutely nothing to do with operating systems.

      • Prof.Widow

        Go back and read what Sexjihad said. Do it and fixed. Easy.

      • eatme

        …let me draw an analogy here:
        you know the super hot girl from high school who was super hot in large part because everyone knew she was kind of loose and who had fucked countless seniors every fri night, the same fri nights you spent at home playing nintendo and eating pringles?
        then a few years later you see the damage that the crystal meth addiction did to her, and she’s looking just plain used?
        me: “she has the aids now you know”
        you: “…damn son, just throw a condom on and nail that shit”

      • Prof.Widow

        Of course you are. Well, then, did you try to reboot?

      • anonymous

        @eatme

        Gay anal porn sites are where your pop up ads direct you to? I don’t think that’s the website’s fault.

    • mrsmass

      gee, i wish there was some way to fix that…

  4. Alexander Skarsgard Stellan Skarsgard The Avengers Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea that was his father. I thought it was his older brother.

  5. McClownerton

    Got pregnant just reading this. with quadruplets.

  6. tlmck

    Still have yet to see a Skarsgard movie, and still have no desire to.

  7. MyRightOne

    Yes, Fish. The Skarsgard is the one true Nordic God of Sex-Thunder, and Stell…uh, Odin said, “go forth and propogate and fill the world with men.” (Shut up, he did too.) And the Lord did grin….

  8. vin

    Remember, the 8th son of an 8th son is a source of magic.

  9. Curious

    That title sure sounds like a Game of Thrones reference to me… You a fan fish?

  10. Burt

    Didn’t know that was his father. Gee, is anyone in Hollywood not related to someone else in the industry?

  11. anonymous

    Yoda is a damned liar! He said that there were only two. Apparently not….

  12. Mama Pinkus

    these folk overpopulating this earth better not EVER bitch about crowds

  13. MyCoworkerIsHot

    They are both fucking hot.

  14. Carla

    Oh man daddy Skarsgard was hot back in the day!

  15. Alexander Skarsgard Stellan Skarsgard The Avengers Premiere
    Miss C
    Commented on this photo:

    Skarsgardasil via intrapenis injection. **Not intended to prevent pregnancy.**

  16. poopy

    Am I the only one disappointed to find out his dad is a pretty big hollywood actor? But at least he can act.

  17. weaselmouse

    Had a sex dream about Alex Skarsgard last night. And it was good.

    ._.

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