Alexander Skarsgard Will Have Sex With The East Coast Now

August 4th, 2011 // 47 Comments

Last week, I reported that Alexander Skarsgard (Code Name: Swedish Plow) was not only single, but determined to perpetually bathe in the fountains of Lake Pussycaca, and 8,000 women clicked “Like” in a fit of vapors. Well, I bring you tidings of good news, ladies who choose to live on a coast not threatening to crack off and fall into the ocean, the Skarsgard has come to New York with one thought on his mind: Pleasure. Here he is leaving a taping of Live with Regis & Kelly in New York before setting up shop outside of Gemma‘s and not even trying to lure you in because he doesn’t have to. You will come to him and maybe not bring your ugly friend. Yes, Alexander Skarsgard will make the sex with her, too, but he’d prefer not to. Don’t take advantage of his honor, is what his Viking midget ambassador told me to tell you in a dream. It was all very mystical.

Photo: INFdaily

superficial

  1. TomFrank

    What the Viking midget ambassador told Fish in his dream.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQJLjYoQWB0

  2. Cock Dr

    He does look cleaner than usual in these shots….like he may have washed his hair within the past 24 hours.
    Nevertheless I will decline.
    Can I pass my share of east coast Skarsgard sex to someone else? Someone deserving, who would appreciate it?
    Where’s Colin?

    • TomFrank

      You’re offering to let Colin Firth (yes? Colin Firth? not Colin Farrell or Colin Powell or Colin Quinn?) have sex With Alexander Skarsgård? Is that what I’m reading?

      • Cock Dr

        Um……that comment was addressed to apparently gay man & frequent SW commenter “colin”.
        Those other combinations would be interesting though.
        I’ll watch as long as there’s no butt sex. It’s said that men ARE the best at fellatio.

      • Yeah, but that’s just a “laziness” thing. No offense intended towards the good Doctor.

    • thespiral

      I’m on the East Coast. Can I trade in my offer and have sex with Colin Firth instead? Colin Farrell will do too, if you throw in a biohazard suit and a lifetime supply of Valtrex and antibiotics.

  3. sara

    Foreign men are so hott!!!!!

  4. Alexander Skarsgard
    its me fuckers
    Commented on this photo:

    d-d-d-d-DAMN!!!!! *drools*

  5. Kelce

    Now this is the way to start off a morning. Sexy man, guaranteed sexy man sex. He doesn’t even have to play vampire with me, I’m not picky.

  6. Carrie

    Purrrrrr.

  7. the one

    a public warning for all wome: HE IS AS SLICKY AS DIARRHOEA!!

  8. Dwarfninja

    I’d throw him a bang… or twelve.

  9. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s where my mom’s shirt went after donating it to Goodwill.

  10. Harry Potter called, wants his glasses back.

  11. TurkusMaximus

    He is sooooo my type. so glad he’s finally done with Skeletor Bosworth.

  12. Cha Cha

    What a freaking shame more men dont look like this. He is sexy, hot, smart, fit, not to much or too little. Just the perfect combo….Gourges.

  13. Aey

    How come when I “like” this it shows a picture of Selena Gomez in a bikini on my profile? >.>

  14. juaquin ingles

    You could transcribe War and Peace on that forehead.

  15. NonFactor

    “but determined to perpetually bathe in the fountains of Lake Pussycaca, and 8,000 women clicked “Like” in a fit of vapors”

    LMAO!

  16. Satan's bitch

    I just don’t see the attraction. Typical Aryan skinny boy.

    • Blech

      I don’t mind Aryan. Or non-Aryan for that matter. My school girl crush on LL Cool J. lives until this very day. I also love Chris Noth and Johnny Depp. And this one redhead dude from “Designed to Sell”, too, but I digress.

      What I mind is a guy desperate to be deemed “hot” and “sexy”.

  17. kulit

    Damn you can land e 747 on that thing.

  18. Alexander Skarsgard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The proportions are all wrong on this dude, and in this photo I suspect he stuffed his tighty whiteys with something other than what nature endowed him.
    Viking pinhead.

  19. If you are hot for this guy, cool, but you better think Max Headroom was a hunk as well.

  20. stratacat

    I can’t. As soon as he thrusts his Viking horn into my rune cave, I’ll just hear the jitterbug song and imagine him in the gas station scene from Zoolander. “Orange mocha frappaccino!!!”

    • thespiral

      +1000000!

      His character is pretty hot on True Blood, but off the show all I can think of when I see him is a gasoline fight gone tragically awry!

  21. Alexander Skarsgard
    tub of lard
    Commented on this photo:

    lame bitches

  22. LT81

    Great, I just had a shower and now I have to go wash again as I seem to have made a mess of my ladyparts. Meh, totally worth it.

  23. Alexander Skarsgard
    Curious Troll
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet his incredible looks match his incredible douchery.

  24. Want

    I would suck him dry. And my boyfriend would allow it.

  25. gigi

    all I can say is: ROAD.f*ing.TRIP!!!!! hate all you want haters– doesn’t take anything away from Alex. seriously? harry potter glasses? forehead jokes? stuffing his pants? max headroom comparisons? oh *that’s* not dated… lol the jealousy is so cute

  26. Alexander Skarsgard
    Blech
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d take Jason Lewis (with 2-week-old dirty hair) over this guy.

  27. Alexander Skarsgard
    Rather Dashing
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the tucking-your-excess-belt-down-behind-your-belt-so-it-hangs-down-your-leg-like-a-dong thing coming back? Or is this just a case of things that were cool in the U.S. half a generation ago being cool in Europe now?

  28. Monica

    Alex looks HOT and HAPPY! I imagine the jealous people who are attacking him are REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

  29. Stuve

    Thanks Fish for the hotness that is Nordic Yum Yum Skarsgard

  30. Astral

    ‘Lake Pussycaca’: brilliant.

  31. Chupacabra

    Hot Times A Thousand YEARS.

  32. Fran

    This guy is always nice to all his fans and never has anything bad to say about anyone. I doubt he would have anything bad to say to the haters.

    It is really incredible how mean jealousy can be. But those great looks he has are their own defense.

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