There’s No Way That’s Alexander Skargard’s Penis. Just No Way.

Here’s Alexander Skarsgard at the Warner Bros./InStyle Golden Globes Party last night where Photo Boy and I absolutely refuse to believe he’s Hamm-boning it here because c’mon. No one gets to be that internationally good looking, desired by man, woman and beast alike AND have a gigantic penis. I mean.. Jesus. No wonder Rihanna banged him. The thing’s big enough to grow arms and fists.

RIHANNA: Your penis wouldn’t happen to have a phone would it?
SKARSGARD: Do you require one to call your obstetrician?
RIHANNA: My obstet- *looks down* Oh, god!
SKARSGARD: It’s a boy. Mjolnir! To me. *catches penis, hurls into the air to take flight* Nice meeting you, Briannaaaa…

Photos: Getty, Splash News