Alexander Skarsgard Banged Olivia Munn Now

September 26th, 2012 // 42 Comments
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“Look at that smile I put on Mario Batali’s face, you sly dog…”

Life & Style reports Alexander Skarsgard touched Olivia Munn‘s arm at the HBO Official Emmy After Party Sunday night which is way more than I needed to hear to know he Mjolnir’d her vagina. They could’ve simply wrote “Olivia Munn breathed air” and that still would’ve been overkill. All I need to know is, does she have at least one open orifice? Doesn’t matter, he still fucked her.

Photo Boy, not me, likes to believe this song plays every time Alexander Skarsgard unzips his pants, except everyone knows they’re merely a mirage of your mind. For actually seeing, truly seeing, what’s underneath them would render your mind inert. And double-pregnant.

Photos: Getty, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Papa Smurf

    And the amazing thing is they weren’t even in the same zip-code when it happened.

  2. EricLr

    Alexander Skarsgard has banged every woman, alive and dead. Legend has it that he even banged Amelia Earhart as her plane was going down–TWICE.

    • Matt Lauer

      Was the plane going down on him or Amelia? I just want to be certain my mental picture is accurate.

      • gigi

        I gotta get the NY man…… meanwhile, if there’s anybody that make her a full-on hetero again it’s Alex!

  3. Alexander Skarsgard
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    “at Chateau Marmont ”
    What’s he doing at that horrid place of sin and iniquity?
    If he’s not careful there he could accidentally have relations with a Lohan. That would be BAD.

  4. Mohawk Disco

    This should be interesting. Skarsgard’s mojo or Munn’s CDC certified body. Whick one will conquer the other?

  5. AbRtFl

    Olivia Munn = GODDESS!

  6. Hope Skarsgard wore a cock guard.

  7. mrsmass

    well, that’s just disappointing. figured him to have at least some level of higher standards.

  8. anonym

    Olivia Meh

  9. Kodos

    I thought Olivia only liked it in the butt….

    ….hmm, learn something everyday!

  10. Carona

    Well i feel sorry for her boyfriend Joel Kinnaman he working and she sleeping around with his friend’s girlfriend . She suppose to be dating Joel . Alex is his friend suppose to be anyway . Nasty . .

  11. Carona

    I meant he sleeping around with his friend girlfriend .Sorry my bad . Typo.

  12. Alexander Skarsgard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good evening Mr. Skarsgard. What can I get you this evening?”

    “I’m in the mood for a half Asian, half white former cable TV host.”

  13. Amazing!!! If ASkars is within a one-mile radius of any pussy, he is automatically “tapping it”. No matter if it is his good friend’s girlfriend (Munn) and they just said, “Hi” at a HBO party, it doesn’t matter. Or, just sharing a ride with his co-star on TB, after a party (Lucy Griffiths); or, in Japan on a press tour for his latest film Battleship (Rhianna); or an innocent sports game with a female co-star of one of his movies (Ellen Page, who by the way is now receiving death threats, oh, and a lesbian); he is automatically f*cking all of them! For a man whose sexual preferences doesn’t even swing this way… he sure is he receiving a lot of pussy!!!! Ridiculous!!!

    • One of The Skarsgård’s names is Hjalmar, which means “helmeted warrior” in Old Norse. Therefore it is automatic that he will have fucked everything on two or four feet at some point – he is not bound by your silly little categories of “preference” – all pussy falls before his advances. No one is innocent – or spared.

      • Ya, keep dreaming and cumming on your own pillow justifiable. He, I know, would not touch you with a 10 foot “pole” even if you were the only “pussy” available.

      • Oooh, burn. Hey, cupcake, you’re the one who’s supremely pissed off here that he supposedly getting a load of tail that, according to you – and you alone – he totes doesn’t want. With multiple exclamation points, too. .

        I suspect that if anyone’s pillowcase looks like a prop in a bukkake film, it’s yours.

      • charhamblin

        U want his private cell# don’t you? I can give it to you…but, alas, you are a sick dude.

      • Yeah, because it’s the internet I’m really sure you can – and I bet he told you it was 310-217-7638. And you’ve treasured it all this time without actually calling it, amirite? Quit while you’re ahead, dicksmack.

      • charhamblin

        “310-217-7638″….funny. Get a life dude. Or, are you a raging lesbo and not a dude, waiting for your chance?

      • Uh, “raging”? That’s all you got? Now I’m a lesbo and he’s gay? Judging from your original highly indignant post, you’re the one who’s furious about all that free-range pussy, raging around with “that should be me up there” and “I demand my chance” nd “Ridicuous!!” issues.

        FYI, anyone who’s so unfamiliar with the phrase that he thinks he has to put “tapping it” in quotes has a fuck of a lot more problems than just a soggy pillowcase.

        Also, it’s the internet. If you’re still writing “f*ck” it’s because you’re afraid Mom will be furious at you if you don’t censor it. Since she no doubt does your laundry, I’d say you’re probably way too late on that account.

      • Ya… I’m 44 y/o… I can’t say I’ve lived with my mommy for over 25 years. Paralegal, in the same law firm for over 11 years. I say, “f*ck” because I have respect. Really do not like to curse, especially on the internet. Although, you could really take a class or two in decourm…My point and only point being… this is just stupid!!! Who ASkars chooses to fuck (ok, there I said it) is only his business! NO ONE ELSE has the right to publish this shit! (Ok, there, I cussed again!) Happy now??? Get A Life Moron!!!

      • Hey, it’s the net. So of course you’re a “44 y/o” paralegal. *snerk* And of course you have too much “respect” to curse – “especially on the internet”. Because really, only someone with your heightened sense of decorum would have responded to my post by suggesting I jizz all over my pillow. Why, I can see your extended pinky finger from here.

        Because only someone with your obviously rarified sense of privacy and heightened appreciation for preserving the sacred notion of privacy in the lives of celebrities would be on a gossip site in the first place, because speculating about “ASkars’ ” sex life is just wrong. So even though you went out of your way to note that Ellen Page is a lesbian, and made sure to state that Skarsgård’s orientation doesn’t tend toward women, it’s clear that that sort of comment would just be totally wrong on so many levels.

        Run along now, you’re late for etiquette class.

      • I just want to say that Justifiable bitch slapped you ten ways to Sunday. It is now obvious why you are a coffee fetching paralegal and not an attorney.

      • That’s because my middle name is Hjalmar.

    • MyRightOne

      I’m going to go out on a limb and guess by the way this same good friend’s sister is STILL walking, she might disagree with your assessment of his preferences.

    • sheila

      I agree with the first part of your post, but as for being gay…maybe, and maybe not. we know he dated K-bos, E-R-wood, Sara tun…
      also:
      http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/09/blind-item-1_29.html
      hmm… of course, it could be someone else. all of them, that is.

  14. MFB

    Um… who HASN’T she slept with???

  15. Chocolate Twinkies are real

    Is she pregnant?

  16. Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

    And to think he didn’t even need his last name, all he had to do was cover his cock in shrimp juice.

    Btw, anyone else think his nose looks like a big toe sans its nail?

  17. locknload

    I was just wondering if SW was still doing Skarsgard sex god posts. Voila. Here it is with one of my favorite songs as the selected soundtrack.

    I’m. So. Pleased.

  18. Alexander Skarsgard
    Luopis
    Commented on this photo:

    BANG ME NEXT

  19. L.

    Oh this is ridiculous. Alexander is not sleeping with Olivia Munn. Olivia is the girlfriend of actor Joel Kinnaman. Joel is Alex’s close friend and he even dated Joel’s sister for a couple of years.

  20. XGL

    Apparently jokes are completely lost on people here.

    SKARSGARD IS THE EPITOME OF SEXINESS AND ALL WOMEN LOVE HIM, SO WE MAKE A JOKE THAT HE IS BANGING EVERYONE. AND SINCE MUNN IS EXTREMELY SLUTTY, AND ADMITTEDLY SLEPT WITH BRETT RATNER, IT IS (SARCASTIC) OBVIOUS THEY SLEPT TOGETHER.

    is that clear enough, r-tards?

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