Alexander Skarsgard & Thor Just Plundered A Hole In The Sex-Time Continuum

The Superficial / April 12, 2012

Fun fact: Alexander Skarsgard was one of the top rumored contenders for the role of Thor which thankfully didn’t happen because Chris Hemsworth taught us that Thor is best played by someone with a stocky Viking-esque build as opposed to a tall, lean, muscular Swedish fucking machine. If Alexander Skarsgard should play any superhero, it’s Fucksilver or Ultimate Fuckerman, both of which I just made up. Anyway, both Skarsgard and Thor were at the Hollywood premiere of The Avengers last night, so below is an appropriate musical montage that I feel captures the handsome pageantry of their respective sexual thundery attempting to occupy the same space. (Ladies, you might want to lay down a tarp.)

(For the sake of this post, the part of Alexander Skarsgard will be played by Jean Claude Van Damme’s penis – also trained in both ballet and kar-ah-te – which, like the Skarsgard, fucks everything in its path leaving nothing but trembling in its wake. As for Thor, I already forget who that is. What were we talking about?)

Photos: Getty, Splash News