Alexander Skarsgard & Thor Just Plundered A Hole In The Sex-Time Continuum

April 12th, 2012 // 39 Comments
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Fun fact: Alexander Skarsgard was one of the top rumored contenders for the role of Thor which thankfully didn’t happen because Chris Hemsworth taught us that Thor is best played by someone with a stocky Viking-esque build as opposed to a tall, lean, muscular Swedish fucking machine. If Alexander Skarsgard should play any superhero, it’s Fucksilver or Ultimate Fuckerman, both of which I just made up. Anyway, both Skarsgard and Thor were at the Hollywood premiere of The Avengers last night, so below is an appropriate musical montage that I feel captures the handsome pageantry of their respective sexual thundery attempting to occupy the same space. (Ladies, you might want to lay down a tarp.)

(For the sake of this post, the part of Alexander Skarsgard will be played by Jean Claude Van Damme’s penis – also trained in both ballet and kar-ah-te – which, like the Skarsgard, fucks everything in its path leaving nothing but trembling in its wake. As for Thor, I already forget who that is. What were we talking about?)

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. Richard McBeef

    no and no. it’s like you aren’t even trying to turn me gay.

  2. Pretty women everywhere just ate a gallon of ice cream.

  3. Deacon Jones


    Are you “that guy” at happy hour that has a couple of beers and starts getting real touchy feely with the other guys?

  4. nom nom nom

    Yeah more Skarsgard !!!! I hope he doesn’t start loosing even more of his hair, tough he would probably still be hot.

  5. Liv

    thank you, that was lovely

  6. mrsmass

    i don’t find Skarsgard even remotely attractive. the other guy is alright. his highlighted hair is a bit much. i thought dudes stopped doing that in 2002.

  7. tits mcgee

    Are these guys paying you or something? Their looks are so underwhelming.

  8. EricLr

    In the time it took you to read these words, Alexander Skarsgard nailed your wife twice.

  9. MyRightOne

    I came prepared for today’s Skarsgard post.×252.jpg Thanks for the heads up, Fish. I’m ready for the “take no prisoners” eye-fuck fest Skarsgard’s throwing down.

    If I were a guy, I’d be as gay as a picnic basket and 3 shades of rainbow unicorn dust right about now.

  10. JungleRed

    Why are the other posters even commenting on these two? Did they not see the montage from Bloodsport?
    Kumate! Kumate! Kumate! Yeaaah! Skarsgard and Hemsworth WISH they had the raw sexual heat of Van Damme.

  11. Anna

    Did he really make bullets ricochet off a shield and hit those cops/military people whathaveyou? I mean REALLY?

    Sorry I couldn’t help but comment on that. I’m far too bashful to express my um “feelings” about Skarsgard and Hemsworth and. what I would like to do to them. Together or separately I don’t care.

  12. Alternate soundtrack suggestion:

  13. Yummiest thing I’ve seen all day…

  14. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    He can do me :]

  15. Bolo Yeung’s the man. And Van Damme? He doesn’t look very Tanaka to me.

  16. “Tall, lean, muscular, Swedish fucking machine.” I do believe that you’ve captured the essence of Alexander Skarsgard in six words. I didn’t think that that was possible. Thank you for the advice regarding the tarp. I shall lay one down. Also, thank you for this Equal Opportunity post. It is most appreciated.

  17. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
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  18. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
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  19. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
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  20. mbcl

    the swedish conan obrien

  21. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    I have the condoms (with poked holes) ready.

  22. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    I pick Hemsworth. I can’t touch anything that’s fake banged Anna Paquin.

  23. Jen

    Aaahhhh…love a little something for me after looking at titties all week. Thanks!

  24. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. Hemsworth makes Skarsgard look straight up boring & ugly in a side-by-side.

  25. Dri

    you mean alexander SEXsgard?

  26. Alexander Skarsgard Chris Hemsworth The Avengers
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate to say this… But he’d have only to snap his fingers for me to wet and drop my panties.
    Total stud.

  27. Handsome sons of bitches.

  28. Jade

    Hemsworth is so much better looking than Skarsgard it’s not even funny.

  29. Mar

    Alex is way hotter than Thor! Nuff said.

  30. Star

    Should have taken the tarp advice gahhhhhh! But Skarsgard wins. He is the most perfect specimen that I have ever seen

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