Alexander Skarsgard Impregnated The Entire Hollywood Premiere of ‘Battleship’

May 11th, 2012 // 60 Comments

Much like Alexander Skarsgard‘s penis when set to “Stun-Fuck,” I’ll get right to the chase: Here he is at last night’s Hollywood premiere of Battleship which we added horrible captions to, and as always, a little ditty to set the mood.

Dig in.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
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  2. EricLr

    This is the first time in history that women showed up to a war movie and left the theater feeling satisfied.

  3. Chris

    I don’t get the attraction here. He looks like a creepy, beady-eyed little fuck to me.

    • cc

      I really don’t get it either. I know it’s hard for guys to tell, but seriously my vet is 10x better looking than this fuckin’ guy.

      • Cock Dr

        He’s a pasty skinned pin headed giraffe, but we play along because we don’t want to hurt the blogger’s feelings about his boy crush.

    • EricLr

      Are you blind. I’m a straight guy and even I want to fuck him.

      • Crissy

        SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will someone fill me in on this new “hottie” Cause I dont seeeeeeeee it!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Are there some special glasses, one must purchase to see it?, a terrible drug or some sort of cult that people have fallen victim of, to find this man attractive? Tell me please cause, to me he is beyond ordinary looking.

      • kimmykimkim

        Crissy, I don’t get it either. It must be something about the character he plays on whatever the hell show he’s on. It’s kinda like I never understood the whole Ryan Gossling thing (is that his name? Did I just make that up?) until I saw one movie where I didn’t think his character was a total pussy. Then I was like, “yeah, ok, I’d spread my everything for him.”

      • eeas

        yah i was looking at the pic thinking he is a bit odd looking in it.

        but in true blood, he plays bad boy vampire perfectly, is so hot…

      • El Jefe

        No straight guy ever says they want to fuck another man. You are gay dude.

      • Danielle

        At first I didn’t get what all the fuss was with him, but then after seeing him on this site for the 99,000th time, I realized that I wanna fuck him.

    • dooood

      i think the screaming girl factor is worth mentioning.

      a girl is significantly more likely to want to fuck a perceived alpha simply due to the fact that thousands of other girls are screaming and begging for it.

      so where as guys want to fuck pretty much anyone and everyone, all girls just want to fuck the same 2 or 3 dudes.

      whether it be skaarsgard, brad pitt, Ursher, beiber or
      george clooney?

      they also think they are entitled to whomever they would chose and that they deserve their selection.
      an example of why it’s believed that all women hate each other.

      whether it has to do with status, jealousy/envy, or actual attraction. idk exactly.
      also, i’m a dude so i can only relate so much.

      • browny

        what you are is an idiot who generalises. all women hate each other? really? do tell. get a clue (education) and then come back and we’ll talk.

        skarsgard is hot. we have seen him naked. we have seen him kiss (on telly) we have seen him.. and he’s hot. and women want TO DO HIM. did you understand that bit?

        as for the rest… stop talking in tired stereotypes

      • browny

        stop reading the crap that PUAs think is real. It’s not. It’s bullshit designed for airheaded males who can’t work out why women don’t like them…

        you heard it here, first.

  4. Alexander Skarsgard Kristin Bauer van Straten Battleship Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnant with triplets.

  5. El Jefe

    What is the obsession with this dude? He is a decent actor and a good looking guy, but he is nowhere near the godlike Adonis that this site tries to portray him as. Hell Orlando Bloom accomplished more than he has, he knocked up a top supermodel.

    • HD

      Orlando Bloom cant act his way out of a paper bag, hasn’t been relevant since 2007, and now his only job is following around Miranda Kerr who was as irrelevant in 2007 (when they started dating) as Orlando Bloom is now.

      • Mike

        Hold up, now! Orlando Bloom is returning as Legolas in “The Hobbit”, and has three more movies in the works.

  6. I wonder how much he’s paid masseuses not to gossip.

  7. Liam Neeson Rihanna Alexander Skarsgard Brooklyn Decker Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Triple pregnant. Even Liam Neeson isn’t immune.

  8. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d better get back on the Pill.
    Won’t someone stop this man before he fertilizes again?

  9. Alexander Skarsgard Malin Akerman Battleship Premiere
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    Please tell me they had sex on the bridge of the Battleship while Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” was playing in the background. Pleasepleaseplease…

  10. Alexander Skarsgard Rihanna Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Rhianna: Chris Brown’s penis is about this long, and I’m being very generous here.

    Alexander: That long? Hold on while I attempt to imagine a world where that is considered long. Because mine is twice that, at least.

  11. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    The 70′s and 80′s called. They want that nasty ass wide “member’s only” style tie back.

  12. MyCoworkerIsHot

    Oh this man is so damn hot! I can’t wait until, true blood come back.

  13. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    holy eyefuck
    Commented on this photo:


  14. Alexander Skarsgard Kristin Bauer van Straten Battleship Premiere
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    Everyone he bangs gets a nice coupon for a free breakfast at Denny’s.

  15. Ashley

    You all notice how he’s wearing gray? Too funny!

  16. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Would someone tell Tom Brady that this is how you do that hairstyle.

  17. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I think it’s actually called Blue Steel

  18. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    baby mama #84843758923
    Commented on this photo:

    damn, just lookin’ at these photos has gotten me all…….pregnant.


  19. Catherine

    I think he’s stunning. I’d do dirty, dirty things…

  20. Catherine

    Fish, please don’t ever ease up on the Skarsgard posts.

  21. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwwww, baby! You had me knocked up at hello.

  22. Fart Barfunkle

    I don’t get it. He looks like Dwight Schrute with better hair.

  23. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would a real rapist smile like this?” –
    Skarsgard: *grins* Panty evaporating powers…ACTIVATE!
    Panties: *go up in smoke*
    World population and/or ovaries: *explode*

  24. Alexander Skarsgard Rihanna Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s imagining “double-stuffed Oreos”, if you get my drift

  25. Mike

    I got no problem with Skarsgard right now. Excellent actor and not a whore.

  26. Alexander Skarsgard Kristin Bauer van Straten Battleship Premiere
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    Please tell me he isn’t posing with one of the Real Housewives. That’d take him down a thousand notches sharing space with those sluts.

    • MyRightOne

      That’s Kristin Bauer van Straten, his sidekick and the 2nd best reason to watch True Blood. Fiercest bitch in a corset….PAMMY!

  27. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
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    That’s not a tie. It’s a restraint, which is of course, unnecessary.

  28. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Here nurse, take this baby. No need to remove the stirrups, I will be pregnant again momentarily.

  29. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    Tom Brady
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s how you do this hairstyle

  30. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
    girl dylan
    Commented on this photo:

    in every photo of a gorgeous man crossing the street, there’s a fat security guard in the background trying to imitate his swagg.

  31. Alexander Skarsgard Kristin Bauer van Straten Battleship Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    nah, that’s Pam from True Blood [Kristin Bauer van Straten]…. majorly dressed down tho…

  32. BAHAH

    Alexander can get me pregnant…Anytime…

  33. Alexander Skarsgard Battleship Premiere
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