Alex Rodriguez… what in the hell?

March 17th, 2009 // 118 Comments

Alex Rodriguez poses for the April issue of Details, and I don’t know how the hell he agreed to these shots. I can’t tell if he’s trying to win back Madonna or steal Jesus Luz away from her. It’s literally a toss-up. In the meantime, I took the liberty of adding captions to each of these pics. Quality journalism: I’m slathered in it.

Photos: Details

  1. Zanna

    LOL….#43 had clearly been voted off the island at one point.

  2. Tom Cruise Twice

    I am so excited over all this. It just exploded all by itself. I’m so happy!

  3. GuyHolly

    Z and Jrz— don’t feed the douchebag.

  4. Jrz

    I know who it is, Zan….it’s the guy who had to clean the ottoman. He has good reason to be bitter.

  5. xponential

    #44 It’s called PUSS? ROTFL! Fish readers, meet a man who’s never fucked one.

  6. Jrz

    sage advice GuyHolly.

  7. Jrz

    sage advice GuyHolly.

  8. Zanna

    @ Geez. FINE, Guy Holly. I’m only doing what you say because you have reached level 80 on WoW- Wrath of the Lich King

  9. Zanna

    @57 – Thage advith ith level 30 on WoW.

  10. hittin your buttons flippin your switches

    #54 He’s Mike Oxbhig – number 44 and 62 on this thread and number -108 in our hearts. Then he changed to re6el and he still won’t Shut The Fuck Up. Lameass.

  11. jrz

    speaking of wally….my kid said something the other day about a pink penis and I was like “What..the……”

  12. GuyHolly

    #60– he is also lowlands, darth, sauron. But he will always be Wally who fucks his own mom to me.

  13. Jrz

    I don’t care who it is…I just hope the Lord blesses him this very day in every way!

  14. Jrz

    $20 and a gimlet to anyone who can tell me WITHOUT IMDB-ing….any movie Natasha Richardson has been in.

  15. Zanna

    Wanna know what a Walrus looks like after his long assed post was erased and he gets PISSED because it took him forever cuz of the Bell’s Palsey?

  16. hittin your buttons flippin your switches

    #62 I don’t think so. Those guys are probably the same person, this guy is a real dumbfuck who mostyly does these stupid rightwinger rants. But he probably does fuck his own mom. He’s really tweeked about something so she probably won’t give him a discount. Sucks to pay retail.

  17. Jrz

    Anything else? Good, meeting adjourned for Guinness break.

  18. WTF Report

    #64 Gotcha! NELL- both she and Neeson were in that turkey! Could I have a dirty martini instead? I’ll buy us some nachos with the $20 if you’re flexible on this point.

  19. Jrz

    That was her in Nell? The teacher or whatever the fuck she was? Huh…..One Dirty Martini it is…hold the sour cream on my nachos.

  20. Anexio

    I always knew that A-Rod was a turd burglar.

  21. Irony

    Re: #1

    Tough guy homophobe racist ??Re6el?? is still cruising the pages of celebrity gosip sites? One way or another, you’re a poser. I’m not hatin’, just sayin’. Dude, you gotta make up your mind.

    I bet ??Re6el?? is a closet poo pusher and a pillow biter. A lunch masher if you will. Again, I’m not judging, but the irony is just incredible. True Rebel racist homophobes don’t spend their day posting on celeb sites, hitting refresh every 5 minutes.


  22. WTF Report

    #72 Yeah, I think they got married right after that and I blame Jodie Foster for the whole thing – it’s unnatural that he and Clive Owen should be married and off limits. Side of guacamole just for the hellof it?

  23. bootlips


  24. xponential

    #74 Don’t you know? He’s hitting the button with “the truth”. And he thinks irony is what you flatten your shirty with.

  25. Jrz

    Now that you reminded me of Clive Owen being married…you can make that the grande sized nachos with a double side of guac…Hey…I eat my feelings.

  26. GuyHolly

    #78 that’s the spirit. You’ll have that Kardassssssian ass in no time.

  27. WTF Report

    #78 LOLZ! You can eat your feelings, I’d rather eat Clive Owen.

  28. Jrz

    Hey! None of your cheek, Holly!

  29. jrz

    By the way, is anyone going to mention the funny looking drawing on the wall in the mirror A-Douche is kissing? Is that supposed to be his self-portrait?

  30. Lowlands

    You can say what you want about him! But at least he can look himself straight in the eyes! How many others can say the same!?

  31. Darth

    I’m looking every morning myself straight in the eyes when i brush my teeth! And the mirror is still in one piece!

  32. Sauron

    The guy is just satisfied with his likeness! How many others can say the same!? On the other hand,he doesn’t have any other choice!

  33. annoyed

    is it just me , or does the media only make the gayest guys on the planet famous.

  34. annoyed

    is it just me , or does the media only make the gayest guys on the planet famous.

  35. 8x


  36. Clive Owen

    # 86, 87 It”s just you.

  37. LT

    Ok, so we’ve established that everyone here thinks these pics have a distinct homosexual nature. Fair enough. But does anyone care that they’re so second rate that they look like they were taken by a 14 year old girl who aspires to be the next Annie Liebowitz – minus the vision and talent??

  38. xponential

    #90 Nicely said. Hammer, meet nail head.

  39. Now I usually not quick to call someone gay, but this Nim Rod doesnt he have to approved these pics before they get publish? what the hell does that pose even mean?

  40. Tom K

    I agree with #90, but what really bothers me is why this Dirty Dominican, steroid injecting spic is even being featured in a magazine in the first place. Stupid fuck!

  41. dude_on

    I’m guessing the sissy boys are loving it that a name brand athlete has joined their team. Who knew?

  42. Mandi

    *with my best Boston accent* What a fuhkin’ qweehr! Hahahahaha, YES!! I love this! He shoulda just took a picture with Jeeter’s dick in his mouth. GO SOX!! Fuck you, Yankee’s! Hahahaha! Yea! Fuck you! BOSOX!!!!!

  43. iam a cubs fan asshole jeeter@a roddddddd suck and swollows cubs big balls ha ha ha

  44. 1moreidiotintheworld

    All Yankees are a bunch of circle-jerking FAAAGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

  45. Betty

    i love fags

  46. theturtle

    Looks like he’s hanging out in a gay rape parlor.

  47. stainlesssteel

    You can’t have two friggin brain cells AND be straight, and allow pictures like this to be taken of you.

    He’s either gay, or the stupidest person on the planet.

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