Alex Rodriguez… what in the hell?

March 17th, 2009 // 118 Comments

Alex Rodriguez poses for the April issue of Details, and I don’t know how the hell he agreed to these shots. I can’t tell if he’s trying to win back Madonna or steal Jesus Luz away from her. It’s literally a toss-up. In the meantime, I took the liberty of adding captions to each of these pics. Quality journalism: I’m slathered in it.

Photos: Details
superficial

  1. HAHA…go figure. I always thought all the yankees were gay. They should move to Cali and fit right in with all the other HOMOS on the west coast.

  2. Mr. Obvious

    i can’t describe the level of gayness.

  3. Zanna

    he’s got a steriod induced clitoris.

  4. false positive

    Re6el = Mike Oxbhig. And Mike is hating on A -Rod and the gayness here because he’s secretly jealous of it.

  5. He’s making out with himself instead of Madonna.

  6. false positive wishes he were the gay boy kissing A-Rod…hating on everyone else that bashes gays. We dont care false positive, just go to the homo state of California.

  7. A-Rod

    “I said, when I went into the shower room some pine tar was still on my hand and I accidentally brushed it against Jeter’s penis and then my ass suddenly started itching so I scratched it and in the process pulled his penis into my ass and that’s what happened.”

  8. Fluffy Butt

    / is waiting for the gay porn! hot damn ….

  9. Janey

    GROSS! I’ll bet he’s got a banana up his mangina.

  10. oh…and you and all your personalities got your ass handed to you so handily, Im surprised you have the nerve to show up anywhere around here….how embarrassing you simpleton. Oh, and sorry, but nice try…Im my own person. Just because 2 people call you out and notice what you are right off the bat doesnt mean they are the same. I know its hard for your little under-educated, multiple personality having self to understand. Just know that there are programs out there to help you with those issues.

  11. Zanna

    Janey!

  12. Zanna

    ooohhh…??Re6el?? is talking to the voices in its head.

    *gets popcorn*

  13. steve

    In the article he said he’s already eager to catch a foul tip after the hitter has gone deep.

  14. jrz

    faeg.

    *sits next to Zanna and watches ??Re6el??…spills popcorn* Sorry. You want a gimlet?

  15. Lou Gehrig

    This guy screams fagness!

  16. billabong021

    I gotta say, those pics are pretty damn gay :l

  17. false positive

    #11 = gay boy hissy fit and still obsessed with asses and hands! The only multiple personalty here is you, douchebag.

  18. Elton John

    I would LOVE to be his yank-ee.

  19. Elton John

    I would LOVE to be his yank-ee.

  20. Madonna

    I loved having those muscular arms around me…while I drilled him mercilessly. His eyes look so lovely when they tear up.

  21. Jrz

    MONTREAL – British actress Natasha Richardson was hospitalized after falling on a beginners trail at the famed Mont Tremblant ski resort during a lesson, the resort and published reports said Tuesday. IrishCentral.com reported that the Tony Award-winning actress and wife of Liam Neeson was in critical condition with a head injury

    FROM THE BUNNY SLOPES? JESUS CHRIST!

  22. Moe

    LOL @ “I have a tummy….”

  23. elvira

    #22 Trail, not the bunny slopes. Even the beginner trails have rocks I guess. I heard traumatic head injury which really sucks, sort of like the Fish in reproting shit this week. WAKE UP FISH!

  24. GuyHolly

    Zanna– don’t be hating on Jeter or I’ll have to smack you around.

  25. hittin buttons and flippin switches with the truth.

    keep hatin, Im lovin it…you ooze insecurity.

  26. M.D.

    On further evaluation, the doctors discovered that her brain injury had been caused years ago, while listening to her mother talk about politics.

  27. Jrz

    TRAIL…NOT BUNNY SLOPES.
    Eat me, Suzy Chapstick.

  28. thesuperficialwritersucks

    these captions suck! these pictures scream gay and those are the best you can come up with? pathetic

  29. thesuperficialwritersucks

    these captions suck! these pictures scream gay and those are the best you can come up with? pathetic

  30. feckless

    Just wondering: is there any legal recourse when you have agreed to photos that ruin your reputation get published? And then made fun of?

  31. Samantha Ronson

    #28 – you had that fantasy too?

  32. Jrz

    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #32.
    clever.

  33. Zanna

    @28 – I heard she wasn’t wearing a helmet. She’s lucky she died or she could have ended up like ??Re6el??.

    GUY HOLLY BRING IT ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

  34. Don't Fight It, Just Die.

    It’s as if he’s befriended his enemies, and they just can’t give him enough bad advice. I don’t feel bad for a guy that’s made over 500 million dollars, but it’s very funny that he always ends up looking like a clown.

  35. feckless

    @22 DON’T JUDGE! Some people – not me – need time to get used to how high the hills are.

  36. zanna…dont you have some terrorist sympathizer convention to be at? or are you in line at the local glory hole for your daily jizz cocktail with jrz & false positive?

    you guys are lame as hell…getting shut down by everyone else, thinking your lame ass comments amount to anything other than blah blah blah. Youd think after your last 100 posts of no one replying to you that youd get the picture.

  37. ace of cakes

    This has gotta be Cynthia Rodriguez’s verson of a wet dream.

  38. Rick

    Good for Liam! Now he gets to trade up for a much younger, much hotter wife. Let’s pray that she doesn’t make it awkward for him by doing the whole drooling-vegetable-lickmybedsore act.

  39. Jrz

    She died?

  40. Tom Cruise

    i can only imagine what goes on in the Yankees locker room-

    “oops i dropped the soap. Hey Derek do you mind supporting my hips while i bend over, i don’t want to slip and fall. What’s that, your hands are tied? use your penis then.”

  41. Zanna

    Oh, and everyone..please wear your helmets. I’m dripping “insecurity ooze”

  42. Jrz

    And today’s winner of the Random Fuck Golden Fist Up the Ass goes to……….#37!!! YAY!! Good for you, asshole!

  43. like thats all youre oozing…its called puss. Its what happens when you pick your venereal warts zanna. If weve told you once, weve told you 1000 times…you cant keep picking them and chewing on them or else they will never heal…and your clients wont get that dry, bumpy frogskin like feeling they pay you so much for. Next thing you know, theyll be out looking for some other dune monkey to fuck.

  44. bud dum psshhh…good one jrz. glad to see you have taken your mouth off the glory hole long enough to respond!

  45. hittin buttons and flippin switches with the truth.

    keep hatin, Im lovin it…you ooze insecurity

  46. WTF Report

    #43 WTF is up *sorry* with this guy? WTF do terrorist sympathizers have to do with anything? WTF?

  47. Captain_Insano

    A-Rod corks his anus.

  48. Jrz

    Spoken like a true cast out there, #44.

  49. Zanna

    OHHH, you are so ANGRY. Which leads me to believe that you are either:
    either p0nk or Wally or someone of that ilk because you aren’t smart enough to be Ninj. And we haven’t been closed down anywhere.

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